parents

Parents preventing daughter from marrying ex-husband

Q: My ex husband and I want to remarry after our divorce and we have 1 daughter. But my parents are becoming a big obstacle between us. My father is a very strict person and he said he'll beat me up if i communicated with him again or talked about him.. He misbehaved with my mother in the past but now he is a totally changed person and asked for forgiveness but my parents arent forgiving.. We both want to get back together. What must do?

Sending one's parents for Hajj

Q: An elderly man and woman have been accredited to go for Hajj. However, due to limited financial means, they are unable to go. Their young son has already performed Hajj and has been accredited for the second time to go for Hajj. Is it the son's responsibility to first send his parents for Hajj?

Living with dogs inside a house

Q: My wife is a revert Muslimah masha Allah and she prays salah daily. Her parents are not Muslims and we do not live with them. Her parents have two dogs. I know that dogs are najis and haram. My question is that her parents are going to England for 5 days and they asked my wife to be in their home for 5 days because nobody is there to look after their dog by giving it food etc. My wife asked me if we can stay in their home for 5 days. The dog lives inside their home so what I should do? 

Delaying in performing Hajj

Q: A man who possesses the nisaab is not performing Hajj because if he does so, his parents will get hurt as they have not yet performed Hajj/Umrah. Should he perform Hajj or should he delay the Hajj so that his parents are not hurt?

Another person planned to go for Hajj, but his father said that he cannot go unless he pays him a huge amount. The son couldn't pay him the amount and so he didn't perform Hajj, as he thinks that by disobeying his father, he will not enter Jannah. What should he do? Listen to his father or perform Hajj?

Communicating with the boy before nikaah

Q: I am in a very discomforting situation in my life. I don't know who to ask but I think Allah SWT guided me to you. In my family, only my mum does Shariah Pardha. In my Dad's side of the family, it is a norm to get married in the family as well as to talk to your cousins.

A while ago I communicated with my male cousins but I realised it is wrong. Therefore when I went back home I only spoke to them if there was a dire need. I don't do Shariah Pardha at the moment but I hope to do so.

Anyhow, I got engaged to my uncle's son whom attends jamaats etc. He tried to communicate but I ignored the messages. Later he spoke to my female cousins, therefore I responded and explained that I don't find it appropriate talking to you. But he doesn't understand.

My parents think it's okay for me to talk to him if I talk within limits. However, I don't want to talk to him and I have explained a couple of times, however he does not understand. I don't know what I should do.

Step parents preventing one from speaking to one's biological father

Q: I have an issue which is causing me a lot of distress and sadness. I recently have got in touch with my biological father who I have not known for 25 years because my step father has been trying to stop me from finding out about my real dad. Now I speak to my father regularly on the phone as he lives abroad. However my step mother tells my real dad to cut the calls of early, she tries to keep him away from me and does not want me to have a relationship with. As she does not have any of her own children and is feeling insecure. I do understand this but I feel stressed because I feel she is going to take my dad away from me. I have voiced my concerns to my dad but he has assurred me that she is not going to be a problem. She even told me 4 times to not focus on my dad and that I should focus on my stepfather. I just dont know what to do and I feel my emotions get the better of me. I try to make an effort with her but she wants to keep my dad away. My step father does not want anything to do with me if I see my real dad. I'm confused why should I have to satisfy my step parents. I want a relationship with my dad. Am I not allowed that. How do I deal with this? I just want to get to know my dad without them causing problems.

Making multiple intentions for good actions

Q: I understand that it is shirk to intend to do worship for the sake of Allah as well as someone else (that the intention should only be for Allah). Is it shirk to have both the intention to achieve something as well as to please Allah when you're doing tasks that normally are not worship?

Say for example, you are cooking, both to feed your family but also because you hope Allah will be pleased with you and reward you for feeding your family. Or, giving your mother a foot massage both to please your mother and to please Allah. Is this shirk? If not, how does it differ?

Respecting one's parents

Q: I am a 32 year old unmarried Muslim girl living with my parents. My mother recently told me that my father wants to adopt a son so that there is someone to look after him when he gets old. She says that they think if I ever get married my husband wont allow me to look after them in their old age.

This comment really hurt me because I try very hard to be a good and dutifull daughter and I do my best to help them with their work as much as possible. I have been crying ever since I heard this and I cant stop crying - I cant help the fact that I am not a boy and my father would have preferred a son.

My question is, will there be any reckoning in the hereafter for my parents making such comments? I know that Islam emphasises the importance of parents but what does it say about how parents should act towards their children, even if they are daughters? Will Allah ever question them for saying such things?

Parents not happy with the girl

Q: I really like a girl. I told this to my parents and my parents finally met the girl's family. Her family really liked me and my family and they were ready for our nikah, but my family said no for 3 reasons which are:

1- the girl doesn't wear hijab.

2- the girl is working in an IT company.

3- the girl doesn't have good looks.

I discussed the above points with the girl and she said that she will start wearing hijab very soon. Second point which they didn't like is she works. They justified it by saying that she won't be able to give much time to me, but I dont see a problem in this because first of all I also work in the IT field and I think we can manage it. Thirdly I dont have a problem with the girl's looks.

After clarifying and discussing the above points with the girl, I explained to my parents but they are still against it just because the girl doesn't have good looks. I tried convincing them a lot but they are not at all agreeing only because she doesnt have good looks. It's been already 2 months since our families met and the girl cant keep on waiting for a yes from our side. I tried my best to convince my parents and all they could tell me was that if I want to marry her then they wont have a problem but they will not be happy for this marriage and they will be hurt.

The girl is committed to deen and pious as far as I know and I am satisfied with her deen. My only question was her hijab and she said she will follow it very soon. I dont want to lose this girl as well as I dont want to hurt my parents but it seems that I have to choose one from the above two. Can parents stop their children from getting married just because of the looks?