family ties

Family problems

Q: I need help. There is a big family feud between my husband's family and my brother in laws family. I feel that I am stuck in the middle. I can’t even go to my sisters house because he won’t allow it and it is the same for my sister. Could you advice me on what I can do to resolve this matter?

Joining family ties

Q: As we know that Islam has strict teachings on breaking relationships with near relatives such as uncles etc. but if we make a mistake then we realize and make apologize to them by fear of Allah. What if they are not ready to patch up the relationship, will we still be sinful?

Maintaining family ties

Q: I am a married woman with a kid. My family stopped talking to me since my mother is under pressure from my other siblings by not giving me respect and always taunting me about my past mistakes. Due to which I maintain some distance with my family. Am I doing any zulm to my family by a keeping distance. They are all well off and I feel they need me except to be subservient.

Attending a wedding in a hall

Q: My elder sister invited me to her daughter's wedding. I told her that after reading Behashti Zewar by Maulana Ashraf Ali Thanvi, I have decided not to go to weddings especially those which are arranged in marriage halls. She got really offended by hearing this. Later on, my brother in law contacted Ulama in Dubai and Pakistan and they gave him a fatwa that women attending the wedding is permissible provided there is segregation of males and females, no photography or music. They contacted Ahmed Mian Thanvi in Lahore and asked him to perform the nikah. By his presence they made me sure that it is permissible. Bahishti zewar is not like Quran, it could be tempered with or it does not stand applicable for today. They said that I am severing relationships and I am being an extremist whereas Islam is a Deen of moderation. My sister stopped contacting me and started evading me. My other brother and sister also got offended with me.

What am I supposed to do now. I am also very much hurt. They say that why do you contact Ulama in South Africa when we have so many Ulama in Pakistan and Dubai. Why are you following a tareeq so queer and strange. They believe that I have become deviant. If I remain quiet and do not contact my sister will I be accountable for severing the relationship?

Attending a wedding with a mixed gathering

Q: I have a family wedding where I know there will be a mixed gathering and music. I spoke to the family member and asked to be excused from the wedding but in return she said she will be upset and will never forget I did not attend her daughters wedding and cannot excuse me from attending. I explained the only reason for not attending is due to fear of sin and to abide by what Allah Ta'ala has commanded. From our conversation I believe she will no longer have anything to do with me if I do not attend. This situation is causing me great anxiety. On one hand I do not want Allah Ta'ala to be displeased with me and on the other I do not want the family member to break ties either, what do I do? 

Marital problems

Q: I am unable to adjust with my in-laws. The moment I decide to have a family feeling they taunt me for my work done and my mom's family related to dowry. I don't want to have any hard feelings on them please suggest me Islamic way to deal my relationship with them and my husband. Going to be a mother soon please suggest me some things to do to have a obedient child.

Dream

Q: My wife saw a dream about her sisters. She goes to visit them and they are all going to pray but they dont ask my wife to come with them, than she complains to them why they didnt ask her to join them to pray. In return they tie her to a tree with ropes and when my wife is crying they hit her with shoes had nails under them. My wife woke up and realised she actually had tears in her eyes.