Marital Issues

Q: I have been having problems with my husband for over 16years. He has been having an emotional if not physical affair and emailing and meeting with this woman. The last time I found out was in April last year when I told him that I wanted a divorce. Besides this affair he ignores me, is increasingly irritated with me, criticizes me all the time and generally is angry and resentful to me. We have been to many counsellors but he initiated it this last time. However he does not go with the intention of resolving the matter. Rather a case of "fix my wife, she has a problem" He has narcissistic tendencies and thinks that he has made his business his life and focal point. I lack for nothing materially. But I am living with a boarder. He has not been remorseful and doesn't apologize for anything. He says he has done nothing wrong because he didn't sleep with her. We are separated for 6 months. Even in this time he refused to cut her from his business and have no contact with her. I had made up my mind that I wanted a divorce. Every waking moment was a torment with thoughts of what he put me through mentally and emotionally. I was so angry that my blood would boil during this time. I have been praying tahajjud and making Dua. I went to the Jamiat and the lady there said I should decide whether to make an agreement or to divorce. At this point I was convinced that divorce was the way. I decided to read istikhara. The next morning after my mind was calm. The first thought that came to mind was the agreement. The next two nights were restless and nothing came to mind. Should I look at this as a sign that I should go with the agreement?

Q: Is it permissible for a wife deny sexual relationship with her husband based on the fact that he is a homosexual. He does not stop the act despite several reminders, threats, warnings, counselling by the wife...

Q: After 1 day of our marriage, my husband has told everyone that he doesn't liked me as it was an arranged marriage. However he saw me after engagement and was satisfied but now after marriage he says he will not live with me.he does not come home and sleeps in another room,dont even look at me and not reply my salam.I haven't told my family about me.My inlaws behave good with me and they all like me.what should i do?

Q: I am a lecturer professionally in a reputable university and married since 1.5 years. This is my husband's second marriage. My father passed away few years back so my mother got me married bcoz at that time these people committed to make me happy at any cost and my husband personally talked to my family and took em in confidence. So after marriage I served my in laws a lot even like a servant after coming from job. Just coz my husband got happy with it and after marriage job of my husband finished so I helped him financially too. But after some time he started to abuse me and degrade me even to beat me coz of his parents they were just doing the same as they did with first lady that I heard from their family. But at the same time when I try to go back to my home my husband start to cry that he'll die if I leave him. When I agree to not to leave he again start the same from very next day. With so after 1 year of this I talked to his phuphoo who is a good lady by nature and she suggested me to have sitting with all family members of both and separate your kitchen. They agreed upon it coz if they don't do so they can be separated from their family coz they tried to save his home first time also but this time if he would not agree all family members of them decided to cut off. So now I cook separately but from that day my husband don't eat from what I cook he eat from their parents home. He pretend to be full when I serve him food. He quarrel with e on every minor issue . he force me to go to mom house for long so he could spend more time with his family. I took stretagy that I don't go any where . I remain at home get ready before he come . cook meal before he come . spend my own money to run home. Bt he don't feel comfortable to stay with me. Even in his medical report he is not capable of being father there are only 5% chances. BT I don't blame him for this and want to stay with him . coz oifsprinfs are with Allah's will. I don't want to get divorce coz I know what this society treat with a separated woman. Iam doing PhD as well and successful otherwise professionally . some times I thought he is in complex bt some time it seems that he is and his family is criminal that they ruin our lives . even I spend eid days without him holidays weekends without him . ciz he want to stay with his family. and when I complained he stared to cry that I don't leave him . give him freedom to go to his family and ask me for God' s sake to stay here may be if he leave me his family ll also not pay attention to him so he realise it bt don't think upon it . I have sympathies with him . I don't want to leave him . he is a good person otherwise don't smoke or any bad habit just possessed by his family's pressure even he is big one at home . BT afraid of his small sisters . you please tell what should I do . I remain alone all the day and some times at night. Don't have babies . don't get love from him. What Islam says should I be patient ? And for how much time? Or what are the other ways?

Q: Does a husband require the permission of his wife to leave the home after esha salaah? If he wants to go out with his friends, does he need to inform his wife regarding his whereabouts?

Q: I want to ask some wazifa for the success of my marital life because I am much worried nowadays. And I'm living without my husband nowadays. He was giving very tough time to me from after 20 days of marriage. Please tell me some Islamic wazifa that he become mold towards me. 

Q: I want to know about azal in Islam as my husband don't want to have children from marriage up till now, which is 8 years already. He don't want children  for the next 5-6 years and is insisting that I take family planning medicine but I dont want to take it because it is affecting my body badly and I get sick very fast from them. What is the right of the wife in this situation? Should I live with him or separate?

Q: If husband left his wife and kids without any kind of support (deeni and dunyawi) after came back 20 months and still not support. But he wants to meet his wife only for sexual meet and wife refused him bcz the older childs doesnt want to accept again his father to enter home (bcz his badest behaviour with his family) and he came to Canada just to pick them up his mother father and go back home after few months. In this condition if wife refused to sexual contact his husband,so any sin to the wife?

Q: My husband has a friend thats always intruding, but my husband does not see this as wrong and its causing problems in our marriage, what do I do?