Marital Issues

Q: l have a question about my married life.

I was married for 22 years and I have a daughter of 20 years. 8 months ago I got divorced by my husband. For the last 10 years I have been facing all kinds of family problems. He tortured me mentally and didn't even maintain any physical relations with me for the last 6-7 years. We were living in the same house but separately. He didn't talk to me or see me for months

3 years ago we were in separated for 1.5 years but for the sake of my daughter I went back to his house.After 2-3 months the situation became the same. I left my job to make him happy. He performed hajj 7 years ago but never performs a single salah. He is extremely bad tempered, uses slang words and still maintains several extra marital affairs. His tendency was to find my faults at any coast and always dominated and insulted me. He couldn't show his true colour till my mother-in law was alive because she loved me a lot.

I tolerated everything for my daughter with great hope that Allah (SWT) will fix my problem and I always wanted and want the best Judgement from Him. After my divorce I am mentally free now. I firmly believe that Allah has done the best for my daughter and me. My ex-husband has sent my daughter abroad to study as well as to make his way free. None of his family members supported his disdained activity but support me a lot.

My question is that, is my current situation a punishment for me and a reward to him? I tolerated every situation with sabr. If it is a punishment for me then what and how will be my reward be? If it is a reward for my ex husband, what will he get in return? 

Q: My husband takes the train and parks his car in a yard were a woman lives alone. Is he allowed to enter her home? He says that they are old friends and grew up together, what do I do?

Q: My friend needs an urgent advice on the following: I am living with my in laws in a big house, my father in law and mother in law live in separate rooms, they do not have any physical relation. My married nand is also living with us as her husband is in saudia. She is a working woman. When she goes for work , my father in law takes her 3 year old daughter and I have seen him doing real bad things with this girl. My other two dewranis have also seen him doing bad stuff with goat that we have. Two other minor girls of house are also witness that their grandfather touches them on private parts. If I inform my husband, or any other person at home, I fear divorce. I am already divorced and this is my second marriage. These people are very far away from deen, they think the father is pious and can not commit any sin. If I don't tell, I feel guilty. What should I do?

Q: I married a Muslim man as a second wife. When his first wife was informed, she threatened to poison me, my (our) husband, the children and herself. I am new to Islam and my husband is teaching me about the religion. I have no idea what to do as my husband now fears for the lives of his children as well as our lives. Can she force him with these threats to divorce me? Please tell me what to do! 

س: على لسان صديق يقول زوجتي تخونني مع اخي واخاف الفضيحة في نفس الوقت ماذا تفعل في هذه الحالة

Q: My wife is demanding to go and stay in her sister's house who is also married for 4 days during my absence due to work. I don't like her sister at all so I refused. What is the Islamic opinion? Furthermore I would personally take her to her sister's house to meet for 1 or 2 hours when I have time.

Q: I know the sin of talking bad about ones parents is huge and one can be cursed by Allah. My husband swore his father behind his back for switching on his house alarm when he told him not to.

He also says things behind his fathers back like he gave him nothing and did nothing for him and says similar things about his mother. He never tells them that to their faces and doesnt act rude to them but his not talkative or friendly to them.

I'm just worried if he is cursed for saying such things then his my husband and I dont want to live or be married to someone who bad things will happen to. What should I do?

Q: My husband has recently demanded that I start working, as he feels that I need to be independent. Before, when I was working, he wanted me to stop as he felt that I was slacking in my marital duties.

Also, when I was working, he expected me to buy all the household appliances and furniture and groceries because my salary was more than his. However, since I have not been working he has still insisted that I contribute my savings to the monthly bills. He gives me a nafaqah amount that is less than half of what he wants me to spend every month. I'm at a loss as he refuses to listen to reason because in his eyes he gives me nafaqah so he's not in the wrong at all. What can I do?

Q: Girl had a relationship in past and now she got married and she is true to her husband but her husband came to know of her past relationship and he seeks a divorce. What does Islam says about this situation?

Q: It is becoming a common phenomenon that Muslim husbands leave their wives and kids alone at home to go for “boy’s night”. This is aside from time that they spend playing sport such as soccer and exercising. Is this permissible and healthy for one's family life? If so, how frequently should husbands be going out to spend time with their friends?