Marital Issues

Q: I am suffering from depression. I wanted to marry a boy from a different culture to mine and his family rejected based on culture. This has ruined my mentality on everything. Islam is about being united and if we have chosen someone suitable to marry based on character it should be allowed. Now I feel like this world is only based on people marrying in each others culture, I hate that mentality and I don’t like my own culture. I am a very simple girl and would prefer to follow Islam. My brother who is also a Mufti. I thought he could help me with other situations which I am going through and he broke my trust and I cannot trust him or anyone in my family. My family don’t listen and don’t understand me. I pray and cry in my dua’s everyday for Allah to help me. I pray the Qur'an every night and listen to it in the morning. I feel like everything is just becoming worse. Too many problems in one go. I think about death everyday and pray to Allah that I don’t want to be in this world anymore and I have learnt that we shouldn’t be doing things like that. I want to stop feeling like this but people and situations around me do not help and I feel angry and depressed all the time. I was wondering if there is any duas for depression that will help me?

Q: Please help me with a dilemma that I have encountered since my recent second marriage to a most amazing man with two children whom I love and treat as my own. I have encouraged the youngest child to start reading his salaah albeit one a day only. The problem is that they are caught up in strange rituals that I do not understand nor that I wish to be part of.

1. The many meeladhs that they conduct with salami being recited at the home of relatives.

2. The mother of the 2 boys has requested that they get green strings during the time of Muharram to wear on their wrists?

Should I be quiet and pray that Allah (Ta'ala) guides them if this is wrong? I feel as if this is going to cause my husband and I to become distant because of our differences. Please tell me what I should do. Jazakallah khair.

Q: A sister is asking that her husband wants to go for jamaat for one year and she can't even stay away from him for two months without being close to him at night. She does bad things alone without her husband when he is not there. She can't control herself. She tried to fast but because of her health her doctor told her to eat. She is very weak.

Q: A sister is saying that her husband is not coming close to her at nights and that whenever she ask him he refuses. He wasn't like this before. He doesn't show any interest in her. She has two babies. It's been more then many months now. She says that she starts to feel that its something in her that maybe is unattractive. She said she feel shes is not married. She makes food and takes care of her children and also cleans the house. Her husband is only on the phone, don't like her to even hug him, says stay away. She misses her days back when they were newly married. He don't even like to sit and talk to her.

Q: My friend is getting married this August and her would be keeps on saying about getting her in Jannah, but she is scared while hearing this as she had an affair earlier and got physical with him at times. She has difficulty in loving her fiancee?

Q: If i do something without my husband's permission, is this wrong? My husband don't want me to leave my house when he is not home. I want to sell avon and I need to look for customers and deliver their products. Do I need his permission to work?

Q: A boy loves me a lot. He proposed for me and I said that I will tell my mother and afterwards my mother will decide. He told my mother that he loves me and wants to marry me. Now the main problems stands here. I am too young for marriage so is he. He doesn't have any job. He is still studying. After he told my mother, then we started to talk to each other and as time passed we shared a lot of things. It has been nine months now and he loves me since 2011. Now suddenly I realized that this is haram. I know I did wrong but I have realized it. Now the main problem is that I promised him that I wont leave him but I am a Muslim so is he. I just want to stop talking to him. I want him to wait for me till I am old enough and he is capable enough to raise a family and during this time period he keeps no contact with me. This is difficult for me as well as for him, but he doesn't understand. He wants a haram relation and wants to meet me alone and I don't want that. I love him a lot and I don't want to say yes or no. Please help me. What should I do?

Q: I have a husband. Its been a few weeks since we've got married. Alhamdulillah. We both are baaligh so we had our nikaah done with only 2 witnesses. I had a messed up past meaning I was bad before but now Alhamdulillah he's showing me the right path. I'm trying my best to become a better Muslimah Alhamdulillah and I've stopped doing what I used to do in the past. Sometimes when my whatsapp doesn't work or i'm on a different call with my female friend or family member, my husband thinks I'm talking with some na mahram. I told him about my past and that I don't talk with any na mahram anymore. He's being suspicious that I'm up to something behind his back but I'm not. I don't talk to any na mahram now. I don't know what to say to him. Should I sit down, talk to him and explain that I don't talk to anyone? Or what should I do?

Q: I've known a man for the past few months. I wanted to get married to him as I find him good for me and my family as well. At first he seemed to be interested in me and everything was going fine. Now he won't even talk to me unless I talk to him first and he would behave as if he is not interested. All this happened because he thinks I made a mistake by talking about us to my friends. Please help.

Q: Please advise what is the duties of a daughter in law to her in laws? Is a married woman entitled to separate accommodation from the in laws if she does not wish to live with them. If the daughter in law is wealthier than the in laws and refuses to give them money is it a sin on her? The in-laws are wasteful, spend foolishly. Can a woman ask her husband to give her a quarter of his salary (she will pay for the bulk of expenses) to live separately and give his family a third or so of what he earns. If he refuses to live separately as he wants to give all his earning to his family, is this a valid ground for a women to ask for a divorce. Please bear in mind living with the in laws is causing the daughter in law to suffer from anxiety and she is becoming physically sick.