Marital Issues

Q: What dua can I read for my husband and my baby listen to me only.

Q: I need your guidance on my present marital issue. I live in Dubai. It's been six months since I got married. Me and my parents are very Shareef and religious whereas my husband's in-laws are a bit modern, Muslim but my husband doesn't perform namaaz and is a chronic smoker. Though we did Mashwara and investigation regarding my husbands character and reputation, followed by positive istikhara, we discovered some of his affairs with girls which shocked us, to which he said were his past and won't happen again. I trusted him and accepted him with all his shortcomings.

After our marriage he again had an affair which I discovered had begun right before the month of our marriage. He was ashamed of it and apologised to me which I did forgive but it still hurts me deep down inside. He cares for my needs and shows his love. But my trust on him has vanished. I have gotten more suspicious of him since he works at a place where he has lots of female colleagues, and the recent affair was also with one of them. I keep on checking his cell phone and mails, which in itself is a torture to my mind but there is no other way for me to relieve my suspicions. He occasionally shows me my worth as my parents are not as rich as his are, with his harsh words but I try to ignore them for the sake of my marriage. Now I have discovered that he drinks occasionally. I found his empty bottles which we replaced by new ones in his cupboard, the revelation of which has shocked me. Also the other day I was reading his old emails to an ex-girlfriend, which he though he had deleted but somehow were there. I could not get much but what I gathered was he had Astaghfirullah discussed intimate things with her and how she taught him. I was extremely disappointed. I asked him about it which he plainly denied and said it was all part of his past. I have caught so many lies of my husband ranging from petty matters of daily life e.g.
where he is at what time of the day, to big matters like affairs, salary, where he spends etc. I must mention here that for the past 5 months I have been constantly trying to get him to pray and leave smoking but to no avail. Sometimes he does go to Jummah prayers but that also is on his mood. I love him so much and I want a peaceful life where I can trust my husband. So now With all this in view, especially after I have found about his drinking, I have told him plainly that I don't trust his words anymore and that I'm getting fed up of trying to get him to the right path and I will be applying for khula...

If he wills to continue this relationship then he has to show me at least some hope by bringing some positive change in him like starting to pray at least once or twice a day and lessening his smoking in this Ramadaan Insha Allah. Only then shall I return to his house because I want him to show his concern regarding our relationship too, since I accepted him with his dreary past and forgave his sick attitude time after time since our marriage. Now after this he has cut off all contact on phone with me. I don't know if he is hurt our what but I assured him the last time I spoke to him that I'll always be available for help to bring him to the right path. Now what should I do regarding this relationship, as my patents are sick and tired of seeing me suffer each day since my marriage? I love him and want to live a peaceful life with my husband but he seems to care less, if at all.

Q: I want to know the validity of marriage if the husband and wife didn't have intercourse for 2 years. The husband is unable to do it with his wife. They both consulted  a doctor and medicine were given but still the husband doesn't show much interest and he doesn't take the medicine. The wife on the other hand started to feel depressed and alone. What is the wife's right and what she should do?

Q: If a husband cheats on his wife and has illegal relationships with other girls what should a wife do?

Q: I have sexual problems with my wife. She is now 40. She has no desire for sex. If I want to do, she refuses. What should I do in this case?

Q: I am married for the last 10 years. I have no children because my husband is infertile. The sperm count for my husband is nill and we have tried different methods for a baby but have not succeeded. I am in great trouble right now, not because of the baby, but because of the attitude of my husband towards me. He does not like me from the very begining of my marriage and I always demand love and attention from his side. We are currently living like two unfamiliar people in the same home. He does not want to sit with me, sleep with me and always taunts me. Also, he does not have any romantic feelings with me for which I always fight. He spends his all his time watching tv. I spent these 10 years with great patience and I always took care of him and his relatives. But now I cannot bear any more. How can I spend my remaining life because I have no children and my husband does not even love me. Although he fulfils my basic needs but not by heart.

Q: If someone's sister is married, and after marriage she is living in her mothers home due to instability with her in-laws and husband. Now her elder brother and his wife (who dislikes the sister) are pushing the sister to go back to her in-laws (husbands) home, but she is refusing to go back and says that when her husband will come back she will go (her husband is living in another country). But now her elder brothers wife has gone to her parents home and is demending a divorce (the elder brother got married 3 years ago and has no children). Please expain us what to do as per islamic laws.

Q: I want my rukhsati, please help me. My husband is not talking to me and not even replying to me. I am so worried. My nikkah was on the 4th november 2012.

Q: I am really lost and wanted help from Islamic point of view. Me and my husband are Muslims. We first met 3 years ago and my parents approved of my husband and I agreed. He did not have a job then, but I trusted Allah and we had our nikah a couple of months later. Since then our lives have been very disturbed. There has been good times. But my husband did not have a job until a year after our our marriage. I was a practicing doctor hence I was supporting us completely. Which was stressful as it was unconventional but I did not mind as I believe risq is in Allahs hand. When my husband got the job, instead of offering to contribute in our expenses, he started sending money to his mom (who lives with the other brother and has property and pension to support her). This continued for a couple of months then finally he started contributing after we had a talk. He was only contributing less than half of the expenses and continued to send money to his mom and brother. A year and a half later, he swapped jobs and needed a car. I volunteered to pay for it since he did not have money. Again believing that as a wife it's my duty and Allah will reward us with barqat in our rizq. He wasn't making any money in his new job so I have been contributing fully again towards all the house expenses. This has gone on for 6 months. Alhamdulillah now he has been offered a very good job which he is due to start in a weeks time. Although his monthly pay is less than mine but I said to him that he should contribute towards our expenses before and save for himself and pay off his debts before contributing any money for his mom as they are non his dependants in any way. Also, we are expecting a baby, and I'll be on maternity leave for 1 year and will only get full pay for three months, half pay for next three months and no pay for 6 months. I was worried about our unborn child's expenses etc and saving for his education etc. When I said that to him he got upset and started shouting at me. I agree that my tone got a bit harsh but Allah as my witness, it was no where as loud as his. Now we have not been talking and sleeping in different rooms for last 3 days. I have been praying to Allah to give us Hidaayah. But I am so hurt that after all what I have done for him, he always places my needs after his own family's need. Also, since our marriage, I have never ever asked for any extravagant gifts like gold etc. I can buy expensive stuff Alhamdulillah with my pay but I have been saving the money for us and now about to buy a property, in which he is not contributing a single penny. I have no one to talk to and have been reading about wife's right in Islam. And making dua to Allah for help. I don't hate him, he is or was very loving. He is a good person who prays all his salats. But I feel I don't have the sabar to give in any more. I will have to kill my inner self, my personality and beliefs to come out and say its my fault when it isn't. I am so stressed as I am expecting and keep thinking of the worse that this is not going to end well. Please help and make dua. Ameen