Marital Issues

Q: I have a cousin who is in a marriage where him & his wife hardly speak to each other, they don't have an intimate relationship since they have a daughter who is 5 years old. She argues with him unnecessarily. Since the past 15 years he has been living like this. The reason being she didn’t want to come live with his mum after his father passed away. She told him I will make your life a hell. He has given her 2 talaqs but his mum tells him that he should not divorce her because the family will talk& him & his Mums biggest fear is that he won't ever see his little daughter again. He said that this marriage is just pain & hardship.

Mufti Saab in this situation what should he do?

Q: I am facing many difficulties and don't know what to do. Please advise me. I got married with the will of my parents and myself and the marriage got annulled because my family believe that the person who I married was not right so they pulled me out. I feel my family is very materialistic and they did not want to marry me again. I feel it may be jealousy since I was the most soft and good looking person. I was put in hardship and left alone with no hope of from anybody in family. They forced me not to get remarry. In the mean time I took
help from a person to be my wali in marriage. He misused me and some big sin happened. I repented and tried hard to protect myself and prayed to Allah Ta'ala. Finally with the blessing of Allah Ta'ala I got married. Allah Ta'ala blessed me with some children and we were very happy. After marriage one of my relatives helped me and that made me and my husband feel emotionally settled down and not lonely.

Later my relative also left me, now I am with my husband and children with the blessing of Allah Ta'ala but there are some serious problems:

1. My health became weak. I can perform all the duties of family except outside work.
2. Some of my husband's email reveal that he is involved with different prostitutes. I was suspicious of his behaviour but could not know that for sure until after 10 years of being with him since he does not talk and doesn't show emotions at all. Everyday he watches bad websites. I try to ask him, and help him in many ways in my best language but he does not reveal or nor share anything.
3. My children also suffer some big health issues and they are a challenge for both parents to take care of them. I have no where to go if he divorces me. I asked him for divorce many times. I get mentally and physically very tired with his rude behaviour and secret life. He is a rich person he affords good to us and provides for us but he does not give moral support and a happy life to me and the children. He always trys to find fault in me no matter how hard I try to please him. I feel very helpless. I try to seek my husbands help whether being with him or not. He always says your wish he never gives his idea. He say he does not want to give me children and I am very afraid of the future since I am still very young and very afraid of my children's future.

Please advise me in the light of Sunnah and Qur'an and pray for me and my children.

Q: My husband has two daughter from his X-wife. His wife was in adultery and she divorced him and took both girls with her. She got married with other guy and divorced him too. Now she (X wife) send her oldest daughter to my home. She is now 18 years old. My husband is still paying child support for them and will continue paying for the next 5 years, until his younger daughter turns 18. First daughter is also in adultery just like mom.  X wife sent oldest daughter to my home to let her live with me and my husband. She said that she asked some people in mosque that how can she save her younger daughter from her older sister to stay out of this habbit. They told her to send her here to her father. Even she got here but she showed herself just in a week. My hubby and his x wife hid all their daughter's behavior from me. I let her stay in my house, but now my question is, I have two sons too, don't I have to save my kids from her to learn bad things. I don't want her to stay in my home. So I told my hubby to send her back as she is the punishment of her mom
not me. Why should keep her and I am not even comfortable with her, but father doesn't want to send her back as she came to live him after 13 years. Am I doing something wrong. Don't I have right to save my kids? They are just 8 and 6 years old boys. Please let me know what should I do?

Q: I have found some message on my husbands phone to another female colleague with whom he works with and I have confronted him about it and he confirms it is only friendly message and nothing attached to it.  Ever since I keep feeling suspicious about him and I just want to read his messages. I now don't trust him anymore. How do I overcome this problem.  It is really disturbing me and I cannot concentrate on my salaah and it is making me so bitter towards him. I feel I am so sinful. Please help me and advise me how to overcome this situation.

Q: It has come to my father in laws attention that I have spoken to his second wife on three occasions. However now she says that I phoned her and revealed normal routine of the household. My father in law in turn took his anger on my husband and involved my husbands mother (my mother in law, the first wife). Thus resulting in emotional and verbal abuse, My questions are as follows:

I do realize my mistake was to pick up the phone and innocently respect her. Did I do wrong by adhering to the phone call? Should I prove to these inlws that I did not contact her and she phoned me? Is it right for my mother in law to order me not to communicate with any near or distant relatives of my husband saying that because she does not talk to my relatives, I should not talk to hers. My mother in law wish to not interact with me at all. Should my husband now be obligated to remove me from the household that belong to my father in law? I feel they are purposely trying to break my marriage, how does one make sabr in this circumstance?

Q: My husband thinks that his a Waliuallah. He reads 24/7. He is a 6 times namaaz reader including tajud namaaz. He always talk Islamic. He doesn't go anywhere. His friends can't joke about anything. He doesn't spent time with our kids. He'll take us somewhere if it benefits him only. Pleas help! Is this the way to go about being a Waliuallah?

Q: My husband has a habit of calling his friends (girls). I don't like ths thing and he is totally addicted to calling them and talking to them for a long period of times. What will I do in this situation? He says that these girls are only good friends of his and he won't stop whether I like it or not? He says that he is not sleeping with her just talking with her so its all mine fault. He says "k tmhare zehniat kharab hy".

Q: My question is in regards to forced marriage divorce, if a women who has fled her home and has had no contact with her family for 10 months due to violence and sexual abusive in the marriage requires a divorce, how can this be done without going to a islamic court and making contact with family in fear of further abusive/violence. The women is also pregnant with her new partner (which we know is not islamically correct). The nikah was done in Pakistan. How long before you can remarry after a divorce whilst being pregnant as a result of new relationship and paternity not being required?

Q: A friend of ours daughter got married exactly a year ago to date ,three weeks ago we learned that the daughter landed in hospital with serious injuries, it came to light that her husband was beating her up from day one and never told a soul not even her own parents. She was released from hospital a week ago and went to stay with an uncle of the family, the husband telephoned his battered wife at her uncles house informing her that his family is in their flat search through their clothes. A couple a days ago the girls parents received some of her stuff via freight services and a letter attached to the goods stating that their son has given the girl a talaq. It is believed that the boys family is rich and they took all the best stuff belonging to the girl for them, they threaten that the girl no longer has any right to see or talk to the so call ex husband, the young lady several times called her husband on his mobile and at his work place. Everybody seems to play with saying that no such person works there. The husband did not issue any talaq but the boys parents did and they are all so called pious persons with long white beards,white thobs on. The girls mother is devastated and the young wife wants to be with her husband, it was brought to our attention that the boys mother had another girl in mind and was not happy with her sons choice. Can this really be Muslims doing such evil things? What can this young wife do please advise urgently?​

Q: I have been married few years and there are problems in the marriage which I consulted the ulama, yet my husband continues his nasty behaviour.  The problem now is that with regards to inlaws too, my husband refuses to mend the relationship, although having full power to do so, he rather avoids the issues and subjects himself to be in the 'middle'. He has always had this habit of lying to me abt every small thing, and I always find out the truth later on. It has come to a point where he even lies and says that he is going to do some work for inlaws but instead, he takes them out and enjoys the day with them, how bad is this? Please give me advice.