challenges in life

Concern to change one's life

7 years ago By user2

Q:

1. I used to make sincere tawba but now a days I cannot make tawba because I do it repeatedly.. Such as I touch Ayah during hayez unintentionally but there is no other choice as I read islamic books and ayah is always there even in siratun nabi.. Should I stop reading books?

2. I want to have good akhlaq but I have bad temper and low self esteem.. How to have good akhlaq and a clean heart?

3. I want to give dawah but I don't get correct words or the confidence to give dawah..

4. I want to be with correct people ma shaa Allah I go to talim they are always in a spirit to help.. But I want to avoid backbiting there is no such place where there is no backbiting and negativity and I also try to read books but there is always contradiction.I started reading Naim Siddiqui's book on our Prophet but his thinking was kind of political. Should I read this kind of writer's books?

5. After listening to a lecture of Maulana Tariq Jamil I used to make dua in my mind before salam in namaz, sometimes I took more time than the tasbeeh is my salah valid?

6. Sometimes I feel Allah is not helping such as I said Bismillah wala barakatullah with belief that there will be baraqah but the rice got overcooked and my mother complained that it caused her stomach disease ,I wanted a blessed ramadan the first two days tarawih was invalid and I suffered so much waswasa I had to make wudu 10 11 times.. I started to wear full niqab the next very day something happen that never happened when I didn't put niqab.. I wanted to hide and go to another room in order to do parda but all the rice dal fall on the floor in front of everybody.. What is the explanation behind these.. I am trying to please Allah!

7. When I am on my period how should I do aamal? Should I do the zikir which I use to do after every salah?

8. I want to be in a routine but I always fail to do so.. Please tell me what a good Muslim's routine should be..

Please make dua for me and my husband (may be he is trying to become a good muslim but his environment is not deeni) and my family..

Trying to change one's life

7 years ago By user2

Q: Reason why I'm emailing you is because I need urgent help. I have major hypocrisy in my heart with lots of maradh. I dont know what to do or where to even start! Please help me, this hypocrisy started 7/8 yrs ago when I fell in doubt with my religion and ever since then my life has been very miserable, I been through alot and it still hasn't changed me. Allah has given me lots of trials and I keep failing. I am also a hafiz of the Quran which makes this matter very serious. Up until now I got very scared as I've read the hadith from the prophet Muhammad (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) that most of the hypocrites of the ummah will be the Quran memorizers. This has scared me, do I have any hope of my hypocrisy to be forgiven if I repent sincerely. Again the key word is sincerely, I also have lots of arrogance and pride, I try to change it but its too difficult. I'll change for maybe like a few hours or even a day but then I go back to how I am. How do I change this for good? I am also very heedless, I think bad about Allah but I don't want to. I want to be back to normal like I how I was when I was younger. I have all the traits of the hypocrite, I lie everytime, sometimes I don't even realise I'm lying, I break promises, I have arguments, I have a big ego, I want all this to change. I also have riya but I dont know where to start. I try but its too difficult, can you please give me advice on where to start and can you also please give me advice, everytime I try to change I try to be a perfect Muslim but its too much to handle, I know we have to take it easy step by step but I overburden myself by trying to be the perfect person and everytime I do this I fail, within few hours I'm back to sqaure one!!! Im tired of this, I have gotten nowhere in life, life has been ups and downs, no self development, living life mostly depressed but i dont know what im living for, please please can you help me, I want to be submit my soul humbly to Allah but its too difficult, what can I do? I want to be a genuine person not a liar!!! This is very serious!!! Im an outward muslim but inside im not a believer, please help me.

Marital problems

9 years ago By admin

Q: I tied knot in 2011 and my rukhsati was in the same year. It's been four years since my marriage now and I'm in the same box for years. My mother-in-law started disliking me the day I got married in short neither she nor anyone in my husband's family was in the favour of this marriage. The real problem started just after a week when she start making wrong assumptions about me and spread false information about me around the neighbours and relatives(I never met). My mother in law was unjust toward me and portrayed a image of evil daughter in law. I felt strange and bad at the same time, I wasn't sure of what's going on till I asked her directly that " was she in the favour of this marriage?" Her answer was plain no. Let me add this that my rukhsati was held in Islamabad from where I'm and it was a simple function in which none of my husband's family attended except his mother because my mother insisted my mother in law. My mother in law before rukhsati said to send her along my husband which my mother didn't approve. And during the function she introduced the girl she chose for my husband by saying "she is the girl I chose for my son". She also have stated some mean things about my mother and my siblings. She created a lot of problems in the house by calling my husband and saying inappropriate things to him. My husband psychologically was tired and not stable when he decided to move out. And after four years none of my husband's family member is in touch with me they still say bad things about me for eg his sister said I'm not a good girl, his brother tried to create problem between us by saying she is trying to distance you from them and always say negative things about me to which my husband believed. This is just one problem and the other was y relation with my husband during the time when my in laws were doing all this, my husband told me that he is having a problem of ED, we still have not developed a relation of husband and wife due to his problem and his lack of interest( I can say). For past four years, my husband had consulted four doctors only. Whenever I talk to him about it he gets frustrated and I can't make him feel him bad so I choose my words wisely. Though he hadn't done anything about it and I don't know how long this will continue. I told my mom about this and she advised me to come back home and I never left my husband with a believe that we can solve this and things will work out and I was wrong. My husband fulfils other duties and provide me with things but there is always something missing. After my marriage he was also in a favour of adoption. I stress a lot about our problem and my husband doesn't seem to care. It's just not the problem it's more of our relation. He don't think about us. He stress over his duty towards his parents and he fears that he will be held accountable for them only. He believes moving out of his parents house means he abandoned them. Though he asked his parents to move in with us on which his mother said "I can't live with your wife". Recently, he got a job opportunity from abroad and he declined by saying he can't go out till his parents are alive and he psychologically is in peace because of them (his parents). He don't think about us or our problem, he seems to not care. He takes me for granted and I know this now. I don't know what my purpose is in my husband's life. I feel depress and not wanted at times. I know I have every right to ask for divorce.. I'm too weak for that as I loved this man and expects a lot from him but I get dishearten every time. I have seek Allah's help and prayed for things to get better but I'm still standing there. I'm not happy anymore. I'm in depression. I have written everything about my marriage life and things going on and how I feel. There is nothing I have exaggerated or added anything of my own. I just need some help to pull myself from this.

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