advise

Q: One of my friends has a very serious issue at home. His mother is having a relationship with a man for the last 10 years. She is still married to my friends father. The whole family knows about the mothers relationship with this man, even her husband knows. My friend tried talking to his family but no one wants to resolve this matter. He is very worried and his mother is still having a relationship with this man. He took all possible steps to resolve the issue but nothing happened. Kindly explain what he should do now? Can he break all relations with his mother and leave all of them?

Q: I want to ask a question on behalf my mum, who seeks to annul her marriage to my father. He refuses talaq, yet he does not support her and he lives in another town, he does not support me or my sister, but that is not the main issue, my mum is his second wife. His first wife passed away recently. He does not contact my mum but he does to come to 'visit', and he stays at his other sons house, and not by mum. For no apparent reason. My mum has supported us her entire life alone. She has never commited adultery or anything like that. She does require a divorce because he is neglecting his responsibilities to her. Please can you advise, or ask me for more clarity if you need to know anything more about this. Your assistance will help us a lot.

Q: I was married before and have three kids from a previous nikaah. I am now married for 7 months and have no kids. I do all the house work, cook, clean, iron and it's taking a lot of strain one me. I don't have a helping hand and requested to my husband that help me get a helper even if it's 3 days in a week. He refused saying he does not dirty the house, my kids do and said he will never get me a helper. I asked him if was his biological kids make the house dirty would he not pay. He said he will pay if his kids dirty the house. His kids live with his ex-wife and Alhumdullillah he does everything for her and kids, which is the right thing to do. I am depressed because all I do is clean and cook and iron. I don't even have time to go to ta'leem. It's just a mess. Please advise if this is the right thing to say. Even if he doesn't get a helper for me, I will carry on this way but does it have or did he have to tell me in this manner?

Q: My paternal aunt is sick, so I went to visit her. She performs all daily Salaah, Tahajjud and makes Tilaawat often as well. I motivated her and encouraged her to keep on making dua for the betterment of her condition. She then said that she 'lost the ability to make Du'a for herself' and that she 'no longer knows how to do so.' She said that when she hears the problems and worries of others, she becomes concerned and only makes dua for the problems of others. She said that she has not made dua for herself in a long time. Hence, I told her to read the Munaajaat-e-Maqbool as all things (both for oneself and others) are contained therein. Even if there is no yearning in this, then at least dua for herself is being fulfilled. (1) Was my advice appropriate for her state? (2) Please tell me what I can do to motivate her towards making dua for herself. She is old and faces health, family, and marital problems etc. She is a soft person.

Q: We recently started burning bukhoor in our new local masjid on Fridays before Jummuah. We leart that this is sunnat and was also done in Masjid-e-Nabawi (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam). However a few old uncles in the masjid say this is a bidah and India custom and has no basis in shariah and have actually thrown the contents out on some occasions leading to disputes. Please provide proof from the Ahaadith or sunnat as to what is the actual ruling regarding the burning of bukoor or mujammar.

Q: I just want advice regarding my husband. Don't know what to do. When I go out with him even when I smile at a cousin brother, he gets annoyed and tells me I am committing a sin by smiling at men. Please advise me what is right and wrong.