Making dua with conviction of acceptance

Q: We are taught to make dua with full sincerity, humility, and desire — asking Allah like a child asks a parent. At the same time, we are told to have complete tawakkul and accept that what we ask for may not be good for us, so Allah may not grant it. This sometimes feels confusing. How should a believer balance making strong, heartfelt dua for something they desire, while also trusting Allah’s decision without feeling disappointed or conflicted? 

Making an effort to strive for deen

Q: There is a hadith where the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said, "Whoever dies without fighting in the way of Allah or intended to fight then he has died on a branch of hypocrisy" and in the Quran, in Surah Tawbah, Allah said that if they had intended then they would have prepared equipment for fighting. 

So my question is, should every Muslim prepare gears or equipment to do jihad? If yes, then there is another hadith where the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said, "Do not wish to face an enemy. Seek protection and peace from Allah and be patient when you face them." 

Can you please explain these three like are they contradicting? I am confused like the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said that do not wish to face and Allah says if you intended then prepare equipment. Can you please clarify.