Q: I am recently finding myself getting further away from Allah. One year ago I was going through some difficulties and I must admit though at the time it was not a good time for me, it was also the best as I was the closest to Allah I have ever been. Once Allah accepted my Duas and things settled for me and my life has been at ease, I find myself going back to some old habits and even though I am reading my five Salaah and Nafl salaah, I am feeling very distant from Allah. I also find myself very discontent with what I have been blessed with. These were the things I prayed for and made sabr for, but now that I have it I want more. I want more materialistically. This is causing tension between my husband and I. I know it is wrong. I have so much to be thankful for yet I want more and more. I keep asking Allah to make my heart content with all these blessings. I feel bad because only when I really need something do I spend more time on the musallah. The distance from Allah got worse when I started working. I was too tired to read Quran and found myself being too tired to wake up for Tahajjud. I left my job due to other reasons. Alhamdulilah I dont have to work as it is not about money but more so that I dont feel like a sit at home housewife. I also find myself comparing myself to others lifestyles and feel that since this and that person are working then I need to be working too. When I am working I want to be at home, when I am home I want to work. My hear really is so restless in all these things. When I am home all I do is watch TV. I tried getting into the local taleem classes but no one is interested. What adds to it is that I am living overseas away from my family so I get bored and my husband does not want to have children now despite being married for 5 years as he says he wants to travel more. I really want to have kids. Please can you give me a dua to read for contentment of the heart and to help soften my husbands feelings and thoughts on having kids.
A: In the face of the predicament you are in, there are two aspects to understand. The first is your relationship with Allah Ta’ala which is of primary concern. The secondary relationship is that of your husband. I do understand that your relationship with your husband is indeed important but remember that your relationship with Allah Ta’ala is of utmost importance.
Perhaps this difficulty you are experiencing is actually an excuse for you to strengthen your relationship with Allah Ta’ala. Spend more of your time on the musalla making du`aa to Allah Ta’ala and begging Him to assist you in this difficulty. Be punctual on your five daily salaah and obey Allah Ta`ala in every aspect of your life.
Allah Ta’ala in His kindness rewards such women abundantly. There were many women in the past who were greatly oppressed by their husbands but because of their firmness and perseverance, Allah Ta’ala rewarded them with immense rewards. Among the highest ranking women in this world and the hereafter is Hadhrat Aasiya, the wife of Fir`oun. She was oppressed and tortured by Fir`oun but she persevered and remained firm on Islam. As a result, Allah Ta’ala blessed her with such a lofty status that she is ranked among the four highest ranking women in Jannah.
Make a point of reciting the Qur'aan Shareef and making zikr at home. Daily read out some portion from the Fazaa'il-e-A`maal. The recitation of the Qur'aan and noble ahaadeeth of Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) will bring about enormous barkat in your home.
Insha-Allah there is hope that Allah Ta’ala will open up your husband’s mind and grant him true understanding.
May Allah Ta’ala remove your worries and bless you with happiness in this world and the next.
And Allah Ta'ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
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