Iddat

Iddat period of talaaq

Q: I am 47 years old and married for 19 years. This is my third marriage (I am the only wife). I was married twice in my twenty's and got fasagh for both (valid reasons). The problem is at that stage of my life I had no guidance from anyone. I have a father and a brother but they never explained to me right and wrong, the only Islamic thing my father spoke to me about was to wear a scarf and I thought that makes you a Muslim. My mother is a revert and my father and brother also never guided her. I never made ibadah, never knew much about the deen as my father also didn't live and practise deen. Now I am coming back to my actual dilemma. Alhamdulillah I have transformed tremendously since I married my current husband of 19 years and he has been my guide my anchor. I am really living and fulfilling my Deen. There was a topic the other day about iddah and the explanation about the punishment of not observing idaah properly. Therefore I need advise. For both marriages I never observed iddah because of ignorance, no one explained it and maybe they did and I didn't understand. I now want to make things right but I need guidance. Please give me advise on this matter.

Questions relating to iddat

Q: My Father recently passed away. I am now confused as to what is now forbidden for my mother for the next 4 months 10 days period. I know jewellery, accessories, kohl, perfume is not allowed. Can you please clear my doubts with a hadeeth or a ruling in Quran.

  1. My mother is insisting on wearing only white while I feel regular, humble, simple everyday clothes are allowed. We are Indians and she wears fully covering shalwar kameez and covers her hair with a dupatta/shawl. Can you specify which colors are forbidden?
  2. She refuses to speak to anyone on the phone and not involve herself in the day to day activities of the house like ordering  groceries, meat and billing e.t.c. even while staying indoors.
  3. She also feels eating with the family together is not allowed and prefers to eat alone.
  4. Moreover after a husband passes away my relatives have told her that the nikah becomes invalid/over and touching my father after he passed away and seeing my father in his funeral shroud was a mistake and she should have been inside or at a distance. Please clarify if the nikaah is broken through some hadith. Her other doubt is if nikah is over how can she live on my father's money and on property that they both brought.
  5. She also refuses to step out on the verandah which is inside our house boundary wall and get some sunlight and stays in a dimly lit room throughout the day and night. Is going out within the boundary of your home allowed just to get some fresh air.
  6. Moreover after 40 days of my fathers passing my paternal and maternal family gifted my mother new clothes. I personally thought this was hurtful and a Hindu custom and hence is biddah. Please clarify.

Can you please describe in detail as to what is/is not allowed?

Iddat of a pregnant woman

Q: What is the duration of iddat of a woman who has been given talaaq from her husband who later discovered herself pregnant, however the pregnancy is a result of a relationship she had during her marriage. She conceived from another man before her husband gave her talaaq. Should she observe iddat for the duration of the pregnancy or only for 3 months?

Observing iddat

Q: Please advise: my 2 sisters were both divorced and did not sit or keep Idaat. Few years later they both got married again to different partners. What is the consequences for not keeping Idaat?

Leaving the home during iddat

Q: A friend received one talaaq from her husband. She needs to know if she still needs to sit in her iddat? She is the breadwinner of the family - work starts from 7:30 am until 6pm - Can she still continue to go to work and fetch kids from school as well as do grocery shopping? There are no family members to assist - Dad passed away and other siblings are sisters who do not know how to drive. Also, if she does have to sit in Iddat and is allowed to leave the house for work, school rounds and grocery shopping, then is hijaab only required or niqaab is required as well?