Advice

Q: How should one handle bad thoughts of one's parents or feelings of "not liking" if one has been hurt by his parents?

Q: My question is regarding istekhara. I did Istekhara with the help of Qur'an in that I receive a translation (And I bestowed upon you love from Me that you would be brought up under My eye.) {tanslation of sorah taha end lines of ayat 38-39}. This istikhara is for separation from my husband because of some issue. So I just want to know what Allah Ta'ala said in that is this right for me to get separate or not? Kindly respond to me as soon as possible as I am very tensed.

Q: My husband and I have been married for 4 years alhamdulilah and we have a beautiful daughter. He came from a foreign country right before we got married. Now we have been living with my family since marriage. We fight over the smallest things and I always some how get stuck fighting between my family and him. Our mothers have prior problems (even though we have an arranged marriage) and it causes major issues between us. We both are very stubborn but I seem to be the only one giving in all the time and I always tell him it's shaytaan causing problems but he ignores it and says I am the reason for the fight. At this point I'm really fed up with always fighting and all I do is cry. One of the major reasons we fight is because we don't have our own place and he doesn't want to move out of my parents home. Because of us living here, my brother had to move to his wife parents house because his wife says living in the same house as my husband would make her have to stay in purdah all the time, because of this my brother fights with me because he hates living there but he can't afford living anywhere else. My husband tells me to ignore him, because his wife forces him to fight with us. Another reason is because both of us work and I am paying our bills and other expenses, even paying for our child, while he sends money to his family. If he's the father, isn't it his responsibility? Sometimes when we can't afford something we have to use a credit card, which now started building interest. He always tells me how haraam interest is but he never does anything about it. All he says is i should stop wasting my money, because there is hisaab for every penny. I find this extremely unfair because I don't want to work but I have to and I can't even complete college because of that. And now that I am working, he says I should pay off the credit card bill since I am earning, even though he took part in making that bill. If I bring up the matter of "woman shouldn't work" he says I am right and that I should make my father pay for my things (while he is sending money to his brothers and sisters). If I give money to my mom for babysitting my daughter, he asks why should you pay her, isn't she the grandmother and then he compares it to his own mother watching her grandchildren just because they are her own. If i tell him that we need to settle down before helping others, he says I am heartless and it is a form of charity. I can't argue with him or back up my concerns enough because I don't know how to respond to everything (I'm kind of slow at responses). Allah has the best solutions but something makes me think he is falling back from his imaan. Is their any hadith or can you give a response about how the husband is responsible for his wife and kids before his brother and sisters? I know his father is retired and doesn't have a reliable source of income to support the family but he has another brother who should also take part in helping with his father, but the brother also seems to be living off of us. How can I convince my husband to worry about his wife and kid and get us settled down because if we stay at this pace, we won't ever be able to get our own home or pay off our credit cards.

Q: I am feeling muscular twitches and also my eye is twitching quite a lot whenever I read manzil or do some other zikr. I want to know what does this mean. please help.

Q: I am in a relationship with a girl who is my relative since the past 7 months and I really love her a lot and have strong plans of getting married to her. We got physical a few times as in kissing and touching but never in intercourse. I even talked to my parents about this but my father doesn't agree due to relationships going wrong between her families. My question is how do I convince my parents on this and will I be considered as disobedient if I go against them and is there any way I can repent for my sins. I am really confused and I want to get married to her in accordance to Islam and can't think of any alternative.

Q: How should a person who belongs to a modern family and has been guided by Allah Ta'ala deal with his family? If the family does not observe pardah, listen to music, watch movies etc. How can this person interact with them so their feelings are not hurt and he is away from haram? Should he openly state that since a certain action is haram he will not allow it or get involved in it or should let this happen while trying to explain them the dangers until eventually they stop themselves?

Q: When I feel awkward or low continuously for two to three days then the next I fast and I feel relaxed. I want to know if there is anything wrong in doing so?

Q: I just wanted to know if it is right for my wife's mother to come fetch my wife against my will when we have an arguement then her mom tells her we must leave each other?