Advice

Q: My question is regarding the ruling about living with in laws. Bring in UK for six years, I was living with in-laws for four years. Things are fine with brother in laws, they are yet unmarried and nearly of my age. We have limited, controlled good relationship. But my issue is with parents. In a small nutshell specially my father in law has not accepted me though I'm his relative. The wedding was fully arranged by my mother in law. She is ok with me. Good days bad days. But still she is not very open minded educated women. All this I came to know after coming here. As they were far relative. And on the time of wedding enquiry done by my parents, they lied and she told wrong things about their aqeedah, about husband's education (which is far less than me) his health physical and emotionally. His religious level (far far different approach than mine). She kept everything secret. I came to know very slowly when I came to him. It was too late then. As when I came to know I just lost my 34 years old brother in an accident very suddenly in the same days. It was very very big time for my parents in Pakistan. Mum got sudden Stroke. So I had to keep my mouth shut and show a happy face to them. With time I have two kids. Alhumduliah. (May Allah keep them safe and pious) But the first girl with in laws was not very lucky for me as they become very very harsh rude and unjust with me. It was the time I went to Pakistan and was ready for separation but after six months I came back with very very bad heart for the sake of the girls future. Husband is never a husband for me in front of his family. By the will of Allah we got a far away  flat in London when I was pregnant with a son. It was very very hard time. Health wise, emotionally, mentally. I was coming out with bad heart with broken emotions I had nothing there to see shining since 2008/2012 I had many big small fights. I heard many bad things for my parents. So don't even call their house. I heard bad bad scolding. I was utterly emotionally dead. Can't forget those words, those eyes. When I got moved. I again tried to keep good relations, going to visit them weekly. Stay at nights whenever possible. To show care. To let them play with kids and let them feel happy. Forgetting past. But even then his dad insulted me whenever he gets reason or not. I think he hates me utterly. He never see any any good thing in me. Now question is my husband and his parents really want me to move back and stay with them. So they will have kids all the time. They are forcefully saying. I'm stuck no way. He says I miss them more I want to live with them. My kids should grow with them. I had bad experience to last month. When he shouted at me for twice for no reason infront of everyone. My kids wants to go as now we are in flat. There they have Garden and full house. I know soon they will be very nosy with me. However limits I will keep. I will be insulted. I will be scolded. I will be emotionally tried. My husband will be only dummy in front of them. My kids will be out of control fully. As they don't tell them to listen to your mom. I can go back. But I'm very very affraid. Please help me what should I do. Here houses are at high rent. And if luckily we will find anything they will hate me more. If I will go they will scold me more. Soon another brother in law is going to be married . she is from UK. A love marriage. She will be compared and more pressure for me. Kindly help me in the name of Allah. Guide me to best path by the will of Allah. Save me from wrong decision. To go back. How.? If stay how to avoid therefor hatred for me. I am alone very alone in this country. Nothing to seek sincerity. But big big thanks to Allah as He is with me. (kindly forgive me for bad English, bad spellings. May Allah I have told the truth. And may my question is clear for you)

Q: My wife and I separated due to her being being unfaithful. She was pregnant with my child at that time and I didn't issue her with her 3 Talaaqs. During the period of separation the guy she was caught with went and got one of his "contact moulanas" to do another nikah with my wife.

1. So I need to know what is that status of my marriage?

2. Is her second marriage valid?

3. If she wants to come back must we make nikaah again or I just take her back?

4. How do we go about reporting moulanas who mislead and do wrong things?

Q: I am from Bhopal - India. I am working in a US based IT company. I am a married person with one daughter and living happily with my parents in my own house. My question is basically related to my career. I totally believe that whatever is written in destiny by Allah, it will happen and no one can change it. I am offering Salaah on time. My company allows me to go to the Musjid for Salaah and the salary is also not bad. But my friends and relatives are continuously asking me that you are losing your career and opportunities by living in a small city. You should go to Metro cities and should work for big companies. There you will have a good salary, will get a chance to go abroad and many things I will get there. I am really very confused now. If I follow Islam then I should have to stay with my parents and family even if I'm not earning well. If I go with my career, then I will have to leave my parents, family relatives and many things. Kindly suggest to me what Islam says in terms of choosing career options? Should I leave my family and earn money or should I try getting things in the same city where I am living.

Q: I got engaged on the 3rd of August and joined university on the 4th August. I fell and fractured my leg in university itself on the 5th of August. Since then im not able to attend university. There is always something bad happening since then. My fiance and I, we never argue, but since our engagement we argue on every single matter and even when there is nothing to fight or argue about. I am feeling something is not right between us when everything is fine. I don't feel like talking to him much. And since I fell, I am having bad dreams each night and I am feeling and having an intuition that something is wrong and bad is going to happen. I read 7 darood 7 fateha 7 ayat ul qursi 7  four quls 7 darood and kalma before I sleep and still I am having these bad dreams. I am not being to perform namaz even on bed because I had my haidh but I am reading duas i know. I also feel presence of somebody when I am alone, even in namaz i feel somebody behind me and I feel very scared in my house. All this is happening just after the engagement. I dream about snakes on me, people and dogs running after me, haunted houses next to my house and people asking me to stay alert etc. Please help.

Q: At night I do sex in my imaginations. I want to avoid it, help me.

Q: If I am married for 11 years and my husband never really had a steady job he hardly buys me and our kids clothes. When he does get a job now and then he only buys food, once a while gives me a few Rands to buy me something. Is it permissible to divorce him?

Q: In jannah can you at times become in a form of a baby? If you wish can you also have an adopted mother?

Q: I am in such a dilema, I am engaged and before this I did istikhara and got nothing, so I went with what my heart said. I told someone else trusted to do it and they got nothing too. Now that I am engaged my feelings have changed and I don't want to marry this person. Also the way his family live are a joint family which is not allowed in Islam. He is not independent and have asked if we can love alone after getting married and because he is the only son he said after a few years which will only be sleeping separately, the reason being why I want to live alone is not because of his family the main reason is because of his father and grandmother before getting engaged they accepted that i wear english clothes however I will have to adjust with the family who all wear indian clothes, and now they are both saying that I have no choice after getting engaged to wear Indian clothing. My fiance does not mind what I wear as long as it is decent clothing and the body is not exposed however the family are not compromising, i keep thinking as i am going to be living with his family his dad may say to me you are living in my house and have to do what I say. My fiance does support me but only to a certain limit and he has told me that later he will tell me to wear indian because of his family which is unfair. I don't know what to do but at the same time I don't want to think too much or rush into things.

Q: I have come into contact with a guy at work, who had already researched a lot about Islam via the internet. So I've explained to him that to be a Muslim he requires belief in Tawhid (Monotheism) and Risaalat (the prophethood of Nabi Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam). I took him to the Musjid to see how we offer Salaah etc. He says he believes in Monotheism, but now he's got one question. Why could Islam unconditionally stop/forbid Alcohol, while it only regulated Slavery, and did not forbid it? I couldn't answer him, I replied by saying that it was eventually forbidden, and it was over a period of time, so that the people will willingly accept and obey, he was however not satisfied with my answer. Is there anything wrong in what I said? and please provide an answer.