Advice

Q: My question is about waswaas. Sometimes I can't tell if I acted upon a tought or not or like commited riya though I dont want to show off. Also, I know that the shaytaan  puts whispers into the hearts of the believers wich have iman but what if you like commited kufr before will you still get these toughts so it means you have iman? This is confusing me.  So that means if someone commited kufr before, but he still gets waswaas means he still has iman and hes a muslim? Also while I am confused am I commiting kufr just by being confused by this?

Q: I have a dangerous kind of waswaas wich disturb me alot and keep me sometimes depressed. It is about kufr and shirk som can you give me tips on how to deal with them?  Also, while I was home alone I heard a sound and I was quickly like whats that. I tought to myself what if there is a jinn there  (I know we cant see jinns but i didnt remeber at that  time) so I turned my head quickly to see. Then when I was looking I realized that we humans cant see jinns. So did I commit kufr?

Q: Many Muslims do not do marriages according to Islamic rulings these days. In my family, my elder brother got married but I did not attend his marriage. I think that where Muslims do not apply sunnah of Rasoolullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, I should not attend such celebrations. They marry like non-muslims, so I think we should not attend such marriages. I want to know if my thinking is correct?
I am asking this because I listened in lectures of Ulama that a believer should stop evil with hand. If one have not so much power to stop with hand, one should try to stop evil by mouth i.e. saying about the wrong. If one have not even this ability than one should feel it evil. Because of this this, I don't attend marriages where Islamic rules are avoided.

Q: I am a devoted Muslim and do my best to follow the rgiht path with my parents. However despite loving my mother and dedicating years of my life trying to keep her company and happy I find now that I am struggling to cope with her overbearing ways. She hates that I want to get a job or have a friend to the extent that she asks me not to go out to see anyone unless she is also involved. I am getting old and want to get married and have a life but with her demands on me that will never happen. I feel that the stress is taking a toll on my mental and physical health and am getting very low. I don't want to upset her though but now I feel she has made me sacrifice my own life for her and that is not right. What can I do?

Q: I am very despondent at the moment as I feel that I will never be able to visit Makkah and Madinah because I am not earning and also do not have financial means to go. I feel that I will never get a chance to go. Please make dua for me to go and also advise me on how I can change my thinking and be hopeful in the mercy of Allah.

Q: My girls have some health problems like thyroid and cholesterol. Do I need to disclose them or hide them at the time of their marraige. Since my marriage is in trouble and my husband is against marrying the girls early, what would be appropriate for me to do? I feel that our house is not favorable for them to flourish and they don't have any social life and they are Alhamdu-Lillah very good girls. They already suffer my health issues and our divorce issues since they are 5. I want to marry them early (early teen) so that they can lead pious lives.

Q: I am facing many difficulties and don't know what to do. Please advise me. I got married with the will of my parents and myself and the marriage got annulled because my family believe that the person who I married was not right so they pulled me out. I feel my family is very materialistic and they did not want to marry me again. I feel it may be jealousy since I was the most soft and good looking person. I was put in hardship and left alone with no hope of from anybody in family. They forced me not to get remarry. In the mean time I took
help from a person to be my wali in marriage. He misused me and some big sin happened. I repented and tried hard to protect myself and prayed to Allah Ta'ala. Finally with the blessing of Allah Ta'ala I got married. Allah Ta'ala blessed me with some children and we were very happy. After marriage one of my relatives helped me and that made me and my husband feel emotionally settled down and not lonely.

Later my relative also left me, now I am with my husband and children with the blessing of Allah Ta'ala but there are some serious problems:

1. My health became weak. I can perform all the duties of family except outside work.
2. Some of my husband's email reveal that he is involved with different prostitutes. I was suspicious of his behaviour but could not know that for sure until after 10 years of being with him since he does not talk and doesn't show emotions at all. Everyday he watches bad websites. I try to ask him, and help him in many ways in my best language but he does not reveal or nor share anything.
3. My children also suffer some big health issues and they are a challenge for both parents to take care of them. I have no where to go if he divorces me. I asked him for divorce many times. I get mentally and physically very tired with his rude behaviour and secret life. He is a rich person he affords good to us and provides for us but he does not give moral support and a happy life to me and the children. He always trys to find fault in me no matter how hard I try to please him. I feel very helpless. I try to seek my husbands help whether being with him or not. He always says your wish he never gives his idea. He say he does not want to give me children and I am very afraid of the future since I am still very young and very afraid of my children's future.

Please advise me in the light of Sunnah and Qur'an and pray for me and my children.

Q: My son is divorced for 2 years and started a relationship with another girl, he impregnated the girl (Muslim girl) and for a year he has been sleeping off and on at the girls house and the girls parents have allowed him to stay there during the weekends. He has committed a big major sin (zina). What really puzzles me that the family of the girl condones this behaviour. A child was born on last Saturday and they giving the child’s name on this Saturday coming and we were invited. I told my wife we will not attend this gathering because all that will attend are collaborating in sin because they and their friends have accepted this situation to be OK. My question is, am I doing the right thing by not going and secondly he did not invited us in person but by SMS please advise. My son does not go to mosque,does not live like a muslim, swearing very bad and ugly words at his ex-wife. He wants to take his son to stay with this girl and he teaches his son from the first marriage that this girl is the child’s step mother. He even teaches his son to call his mother a _____ . The child is only 4 years old. We try to instil Islamic values into this masoom child, but he teaches the child ugly words and adult phrases to say to his mother (ex wife). He gave his first wife three talaqs in one go, just so that he can have more time for his friends. He has no respect to his own mother and told her on several occasions that she is dead. He does not make salaam to his mother. He comes there sometimes because the child sleeps by us and that’s it.

Q: I work for a company where the owner of two companies on the same premises is a Muslim. I am one single person running the one company as if it is my own ,the other company employs over 20 staff and some temporary staff. In the second company all the managers and staff are non-muslims,and they earn huge salaries some 3 to 4 times my salary. Last year the company purchased four new bakkies, a Mercedes and a car for the owners daughter. Now in February the company is on the verge of purchasing a 4x4 double cab bakkie and a new car for the daughter because she does not like to drive a manual vehicle so one of the reps will be driving her car as a company vehicle. For the past two years to current the company I am running makes so much business that it is paying the salaries of all the employees of the other company and all increase I get every year is R200 rand and 1/2 of it goes to TAX. I do not get over time, no lunch break. I start from 7 am to 17h30 sometimes until after six but my normal working hours is from 8h00 am to 16h30pm and on Friday suppose to work till 15h00pm. I do go for Jummah it works out to +/- 13.5 to 15 hour overtime per week, 60 hours per month. Not a single cent is being paid to me or a thank you. But the other company those staff get their overtime even if it is 10 minutes over. For 8 years I have been working like this, worst of it is the owner curses the staff by saying that we will not find any work some wear else. I have been trying to find other work but having difficulty. Many companies knows that people are desperate for work and what they are paying them is peanuts. There is no baraka in my earnings, month end it disappears into thin air like water sliding through my fingers. What dua can I recite for baraka in my rizq and sustenance and for a better job. I definitely must come out of here, especially where Muslims are involved in fitnah and fasaad and eat anything from any take away with out considering the Hahaal issues. I cannot be part of their collaborating in sin. Please advise urgently!