Advice

Q: I really like a girl. I told this to my parents and my parents finally met the girl's family. Her family really liked me and my family and they were ready for our nikah, but my family said no for 3 reasons which are:

1- the girl doesn't wear hijab.

2- the girl is working in an IT company.

3- the girl doesn't have good looks.

I discussed the above points with the girl and she said that she will start wearing hijab very soon. Second point which they didn't like is she works. They justified it by saying that she won't be able to give much time to me, but I dont see a problem in this because first of all I also work in the IT field and I think we can manage it. Thirdly I dont have a problem with the girl's looks.

After clarifying and discussing the above points with the girl, I explained to my parents but they are still against it just because the girl doesn't have good looks. I tried convincing them a lot but they are not at all agreeing only because she doesnt have good looks. It's been already 2 months since our families met and the girl cant keep on waiting for a yes from our side. I tried my best to convince my parents and all they could tell me was that if I want to marry her then they wont have a problem but they will not be happy for this marriage and they will be hurt.

The girl is committed to deen and pious as far as I know and I am satisfied with her deen. My only question was her hijab and she said she will follow it very soon. I dont want to lose this girl as well as I dont want to hurt my parents but it seems that I have to choose one from the above two. Can parents stop their children from getting married just because of the looks? 

Q: I am 24 years old and by birth a non Muslim but had relations with a Muslim boy for over 5 1/2 years. We have been planning to get married after my convertion. I believe in Allah. For these 5 1/2 years l lived like a Muslim girl. I know that both my parents will not accept us easily but I thought that his parents would support me more than mine. I tried alot. He told me to take a loan and join for the msc and in 2 years time we would get married. I listened to him and completed my msc. He promised to marry me. I did things with him because he told me that we will make everything halal after getting married. I gave him everything but I am still a virgin. Few months ago, his parents found about us and they changed him. He got married to another girl and started to a new life. He forgot about everything. He hides from me and his friends. Allah also supported and saved him. I prayed alot but Allah didnt hear my prayer. Perhaps it is because I was born a non Muslim girl. I believe and pray alot to Allah. I told his parents that I believe in Allah Amd I like to live like a Muslim girl. I asked them to please give me a chance to be a good Muslim girl. But they did not accept. Allah did not answer my duas. This boy dropped me at the last second and he told "What I did will not gave you a child so forget what happened between us and live your life with someone else. My mother does not accept you and I cant disobey my mother." I know that a mother is a great gift of Allah and Allah told us not to make your mother sad. I can also give birth to a child then I will become a mother. Why does he not think about that. He did also made a mistake and cheated on me. Why Allah is not punishing him? He used me and me and left me. I am so heart broken and feel betrayed because he used me so much. I have been crying and praying to Allah. I begged every one to please help me to become a good Muslim girl but nobody helped me. At last I'm having thoughts of committing suicide. I know that it is harram in Islam. But I dont have any athor option. He touched my body with the promise that he will marry me. I told him that its was bad thing and we are not married. I am still a virgin but my body is also important to me. I lost everything but he gets a good life. Now l prayed to Allah to take my life back. I dont want to live. If I live, I dont want to be cheated by another boy. If I tell this thing to anyone then nobody will want to marry me. What must I do?

Q: I am a girl and I have a best friend who is a guy. It’s been a few days since I started practicing Islam. I told him to do the same. He did. Now I came to know that the interaction with non-mahrams should be avoided. I tried to convince him. But I am afraid that he is new on this path and may go the wrong way if I leave him alone in the beginning. I can’t abandon him because he may move to the wrong way. I can’t stay because it is prohibited. Please tell me what should I do.

Q: My husband is a pilot and works for an airline. The airline filed a case against him and gave him a show cause notice since he has a fake graduation degree which is true but at that time he had no other option because he had to enroll in an exam otherwise he would have waited for 2 yrs to enroll again. Now his job is at stake and its been 2 yrs and the case is still pending. Due to the show cause notice, all the privileges like free tickets has been taken away. The issue is that my husband travels alot, sometimes twice a month for 1 week but I am not able to travel frequently with him because due to the show cause notice I have to pay for a full ticket and it really makes me feel sad and I cry. I don't have kids and I want to be with my husband most of the time. My father in law is a captain and he travels all the time with my mother in law and I feel all alone. I know he made a mistake and now he realized that but this is not my fault. What dua should I read? Should I pray that my husband's case ends?

Q: I am mother of 3 little kids and I am working very hard. My hubby is not working because he is addicted to drugs. He can’t even help me. I am staying with my in laws and one of brother in laws is in house. We living in a 5 bedroom house. My 3 sister in laws are married and they are all loaded. They come few times weekly and I don’t mine at all. But one of my sisters in law keeps telling me to move out and she keeps saying that I am not allowed to stay in the house where there is a ghair mahrum (which is my last my brother in law). I told her that I dont have anywhere to go. She keeps saying that I must buy a house on mortgage and move. She also tells this to my in laws and they remain quiet not saying anything to me or her. I told her that if, in Islam, it is not right to stay in the same house with a brother in law then how is it correct to take out a mortgage loan? Isn’t this dealing in interest? Then she didn’t say anything.

Then she came again and said to me that my kids are growing up and they are sharing a room which is not permissible (2 boys who are 13 and 8 and a little daughter who is 6). I told her that I don’t have anything and my hubby is not working either and not saving. I am working to feed the kids and pay their school fees and covering all the expenses. She started a fight but my in laws never say anything to her.

She always abuses me mentally and emotionaly but they dont ever say anything to her. My hubby doesnt even take my side because he is always drugged. She started calling me an animal and this and that. I stayed with my in laws for 14 years and never be a problem with them but my brother in law and sister in law always fight with me and abuse me but they always right and I am wrong. They all on one side and I am alone with my 3 little kids.

I moved out of the house with my kids and hubby never helped me with anything. She is brain washing all of them and I am going through a very hard time to live with 3 kids as a single mum. Is that right the way they are treating me. Now they all happy and I am really sad. Allah Ta'ala knows that we dont have everything and the kids are even missing their grandparents since I was working and they were looking after them. Make duaa for me and kids.

Q: I know my question is very strange but I am 21 year old female.. I had the option of either doing a root canal or pull my tooth out. I decided on pulling it out. And since I pulled it out I've been crying out of regret cause I can't just replace it due to other complications. I am sad because it's gone. Can I say this was Allah's plan or was it the consequence of my own choice?

Q: I want to be a good person and a better Muslim, please help me. I keep making the same mistakes in which after doing them, I realize that it was wrong. I want to be a good Muslim.

Q: Will applying for a busary be regarded as a form of begging? I am unemployed but not disadvantaged or financially needy. The busary will be given based mainly on my academic performance. The busary may be paid back voluntarily - I will not be obligated in any way.

Q: A married woman with 3 chidren (7, 6, 2 years) has been cheating her husband and was in contact with unknown men for the last 6 years through internet facebook, whats app etc. She posted her pictures on facebook with makeup and even semi nude pictures in body fitness workout dress. Finally she committed zina after inviting one of the men to her home at the time her husband was at work. She repeated the zina at least once. She does not seem to be repentful. She used to lie, cheat, tell others that her husband is cruel. From clear “qaraa’in” she stole cash whenever she could. She used to spend hours and hours on internet and would go to her neighbours and spend time there chatting on internet and will then leave to cook food and will leave her home unattended. With all this, and her written confession of zina. Now her husband has cancelled her visa and has sent her back to her parents. Children were happy on her leaving because of her bad behaviour. She was so cruel she used to order the six year old son to iron the clothes though a maid would come for five days a week.

Now the questions:

1) is it jaiz that the husband and close relatives explain to children that the mother is not good has bad habits and not suitable for them to get together. If not done so, the children when become a little older will fight with the father with sympathy for the mother.

2) Is it jaiz to tell people when they ask about her that she committed zina and other bad things. Otherwise people have all the sympathy for the woman and blame husband

Q:

My husband and I have been having major difficulties in our marriage for a number of reasons for the last year. However last week we had a terrible fight. In this fight he told me that I must F... Off. I have been advised that this counts a one Talaq. Is this the case?

My 2nd questions is that my husband is impotent. I have asked him many times to seek medical assistance as this has been going on for many years. He however says that he is scared and doesn't want to go. To be honest this is a major source of unhappiness for me and a major contributing factor as to why we cannot overcome our difficulties. We no longer have a connection. I feel terrible resentment towards him for not even as least attempting to get help. When we have our fights and I say I am leaving he always says he is going to commit suicide and I get scared and decide not to leave. But this is now affecting my health and I feel oppressed and don't know which direction to go. What are my rights regarding this.