Advice

Q: If elder sisters tell her brothers to offer prayers. Sometimes they offer and sometimes do not offer prayers on her advice. Her mother said that you make us (parents) sinners because we do not tell our sons to offer prayers in a right way and you tell them. Mother said that it is our duty to tell sons to offer prayers not yours (daughter). Mother said that I stop you to tell them to offer prayer. Now what should the daughter do? Can she tell them to offer prayer or obey her mother in this matter? She thinks that as she is elder from brothers she must ask them to offer prayer. Is her thinking right or not?

Q: I've been in a distance relationship for 1 year and 10th month. In two months it will be 2 years. Both of us are baaligh aqil and hanafi mazhab. My question is how can we make this relationship halaal? We know we won't stop talking to each other because we love each other so we want to make our relationship into halaal. My second question is he lives in different country which is India and he lives alone there because of his work. Woh na namaz ada karta h na roze rakhta h. The reason why I don't want to let him go is because I don't want him to go in wrong path and I feel that once he is with me he is not in wrong path. He is really nice man has pure heart but he doesn't offer his prayers nor he fast. What should I do to make him offers his prayers also keep his fasts? I'm worried about his akhirah more then mine. What should I do?

Q: We should follow the Sunnah unless it causes people to look down upon the Sunnah. Example: Eating out and insisting on sitting on the floor as Sunnah, or eating with your hands at a function where everyone is using a fork and knife. Is there any proof from the books of Deen (e.g. Qur'an, Hadith, Fiqh, etc.) or should we not feel embarrassed and follow the Mubaarak Sunnah wherever we are?

Q: This is regarding obeying parents relating to academics. I have a hard time living up to my parents wanting very high achievements in terms of academics then I feel I am disobeying them. Please can you tell me what is best course as my siblings able to achieve their request but I am struggling.

Q: My paternal aunt is sick, so I went to visit her. She performs all daily Salaah, Tahajjud and makes Tilaawat often as well. I motivated her and encouraged her to keep on making dua for the betterment of her condition. She then said that she 'lost the ability to make Du'a for herself' and that she 'no longer knows how to do so.' She said that when she hears the problems and worries of others, she becomes concerned and only makes dua for the problems of others. She said that she has not made dua for herself in a long time. Hence, I told her to read the Munaajaat-e-Maqbool as all things (both for oneself and others) are contained therein. Even if there is no yearning in this, then at least dua for herself is being fulfilled. (1) Was my advice appropriate for her state? (2) Please tell me what I can do to motivate her towards making dua for herself. She is old and faces health, family, and marital problems etc. She is a soft person.

Q: In which scenarios would it be permissible for a man to go camping with his friends for four days (with the consent of his wife)?

- Would it be permissible if her parents come from Pretoria to stay with her in Cape Town in the same apartment as her while he is away

- Would it be permissible if she stays alone in her apartment but has a mahram living in the same town

- Would it be permissible if he leaves her alone to go in jamaat for four days

- Would it be permissible if she stays with her sister in law while her husband and her sister in law's husband go on holiday or in Jamaat together if they both have a mahram such as an uncle living in the same town but the two girls would be alone in the apartment and would follow their husband's instructions not to go out after dark?

Q: I have really low self esteem, lack confidence and tend to over think situations. Could you please prescribe any duas that may help my situation?

Q: Please advise. My wife does not want to have intercourse with me. I find my self wanting to stimulate myself using her shoe, can I do this? I am attracted to her feet. She won't even come close to me or satisfy me in any way. Please help I don't want to end the marriage.

Q: My husband has issued his first wife with three talaaqs years ago but still continued living with her as a married couple. When we got married last year she requested him to give her talaaq again which he gave her three talaaqs again. After three months, he issued her again with six talaaqs which she refused to accept. Husband ask me not to tell anyone that he has irrevocably divorced her and claims he only wants to care for her. Husband then left me in august while I was pregnant had me thrown out of rental home. Didn't bother finding out where I'm staying nothing. Accuse me of having affair, but was living with his ex-wife and even paying the bond of her house. He took back the car he bought me and allowed her to drive it. Took her on holidays etc. but refuses to set me free. I have consulted with three muftis and was told he doing a injustice upon me and my child who was born two months ago. Currently all his assets his house policies business she will inherited because he hasn't change his will. Islamically he knows what he is doing is against Allah Ta'ala's law but he doesn't seem to care. A mufti has spoken to him. He said he will rectify his wrongs but he hasn't. Will it be a sin upon me if I apply for a faskh because I cannot be involved in him committing zinah and pretending its okay. Also his ex is very abusive towards me and has always been and he allows it. She has even stated that he says my son is not his. Please advise.

Q: My husband drinks and gambles and has extra marital affairs with women, comes late at night three, four o'clock, does not give me and my daughters time, not even talk to me, always in anger, does not give me money, but he never beats me up or abuses, does not allow me to do job, but i'm totally fed up of his behaviour. Even I am in depression sometimes thinking of suicide. Can I seek divorce from him? How? What about sponsorship of daughters? Please guide me. Although I know Allah Ta'ala does not like divorce.