Advice

Q: Can a man have two wives if he is unable to support them? My husband has another wife. Both he and the other wife are unemployed and not earning any income. I am the only one working. We all live in one house. Being the only one working does not affect me as much as the fact that I have no alone time with my husband. I do not get to have any intimate time with my husband. He only shares that part with her because they are alone and we are not. The only alone time we have is when he says goodbye to me at the gate in the mornings. Please advise what to do. I make dua everyday that he finds a good job so that we can have separate homes. This is such a difficult situation and is taking its toll on me. I desperately want a child but with no alone time I obviously cannot even think about getting pregnant. A friend suggested that I get my own place and they must see to themselves but how do I do that to another person who I know does not have an income? Please help me figure this out?

Q: I am currently studying ACCA. There are 5 members ( parents, 2 sisters and me ) in my family. My 2 sisters will marry in future and they will leave our house. By the grace of Allah, few years ago our residential property converted to commercial property and because of this we can earn a good amount of rental income. My mother is saying that I will have to do job after completing ACCA. But my plan is to spend my life participating in religious activities like tableeg, serving my parents and humanity, praying, doing Hifz e Quran and becoming an Alim from Darul Ilm Birmingham's online Alim course. I don't want to do job because if I do job then I will not be able to devote myself enough for a high rank in Jannah (Jannatul Firdous). Its my wish to attain high level of Jannah. If I don't do the job then my mother will become angry and disheartened. But I don't agree with her because rental income is enough for a good life and there is no need of mine to do job. I think that Allah has granted the property so that I can use my time in a good way. Please advise on this. I am quite depressed.

Q: I would like to ask Mufti Saheb's opinion in regards to living with my in laws. I'm currently living at my husbands parents house and have been for the past 5 years. I have two little boys mashaAllah and am expecting my third child in April Insha Allah. I live with my husbands parents, his sister and sisters husband, his brother and brothers wife with a little child. I have been given one room to live with my children and husband and the space is very tight now especially with our expanding family. I want to know whether I am allowed to ask my husband to provide separate accommodation for us as I have started to really struggle with that many people and very limited space. I have been living here for quite a while now and things are getting difficult as my children are growing, the family is finding it hard to tolerate them, constant remarks are passed here and there which makes me very upset as a mother. There are also covering up issues as my brother in laws are around and sometimes there are slip ups where my hair or other parts get uncovered, especially with me running after my children all day at home. My husband has had numerous arguments with me over this but no matter how hard I try there are always slip ups. Alhamdulillah I have never raised my voice with anyone, I keep my peace with everyone over here, all I want is to live separately now. I don't ever want to take my husband away from his parents but I'm suffocating like this and can't carry on any longer. Would I be sinful for asking this off him? Does Islam give me a right to my own accommodation as a wife?

Q: Two years ago I got engaged to a girl and then I told her that if you want to live with me, you have to control yourself and don't do anything which affects our relation other wise if you do, I will do more bad and no sorry will be accepted then. She promised me that I will not do anything like that. But now after three months of my marriage I know that my wife was in a friendship with someone on the internet before marriage. Now I am confused what to do? I am not talking to her from 7 days. I want to know about my problem. What should I do according to the Islamic point of view?

Q: I am so stressed. I want a divorce from my husband but he is not agreeing. We had a secret Nikaah nobody knows about it till now. Now that the situations are worst and I can't continue to be his wife, I asked for divorce but he is not agreeing. Please tell me a wazifa which could help or anything. Please help me in this critical time please. What should I do?

Q: I am currently studying towards a degree in law, Alhamdullilah. Allah Ta'ala has granted me hidayat since this Ramadhaan. I am now contemplating continuing my degree as I find that studying the law which originates from the time the of Caesar is against Islam as we know that he was an astrologer and made people bow before him in his court, as we now from the incident with Abu sufyaan. Another concern of mines is referring to a judge as your "lord", "worship",etc. as this seems to represent the way Caesar ruled. I would rather study to be an Aalim, as knowledge can help be improve and I can lead my life in accordance with that knowledge inshallah and try to be an entrepreneur. My mother however is concerned that I started something and do not want to finish and wants me to have a career. I would be willing to continue studying law if I were able to study Alim as this would allow me to prove the superiority of shariah to legislatures of south african law. My apologies for the long question it just does not make sense to me to let man made laws judge our affairs, and my mothers concern is how I will earn as she is a single mother. I would like to look after her financially, although Allah will open another avenue if I am leaving the law for his sake Inshallah. Please advise me.

Q: If a wife wants to stop her husband from taking drugs and he keeps picking on food and other things that he provides for her and he wants her to leave work and stay at home but she is scared of doing that because he treats her like a dog. What does she do?

Q: I would like your impartial and islamic opinion on the scenario below please. A young woman has a frank conversation her father and expresses a desire to marry her cousin. He isnt the cousin the father wants his daughter to marry, no reason given, only saying that I want you to marry cousin B and not cousin A. The woman does not want to marry cousin B and tells her father this. She tells her father that she will choose and marry a person of her choice if she cannot have cousin A. Her father tells her that if you do that I will not forgive you till the Day of Judgement if you do that. The woman finds a pakistani muslim young man of sound mind good character and they undertake nikkah. By this time the young lady has left the family home having been left emotionally and mentally drained. 10 years have gone by and her parents still refuse to forgive her. Moreover her parents have declared to the other members of the family that should any of you do such a thing you will also be disowned and not forgiven for life. This young woman's sister has also been disowned by her father because she keeps contact with her sister. The young woman does nothing untoward and unislamic. She has made many a effort to phone her parents for forgiveness and even tried to go to the house, but her father keeps shutting her out and refuses to engage in any conversation. This young woman's childhood was one of strict household policies. Some necessary and some not, for example no eid clothes allowed. Not being allowed to go on family outings. Not being allowed to remove unwanted facial hair. When the upper lip hair was removed and the father saw, he didn't converse with her for 2 weeks. Sittings with her father were always frosty. Lectures were given to dampen self esteem morale and often many negative statements. She still maintained an obedient nature. 10 years on and she is still happily married with 2 children. Her in laws love her dearly. Please offer me some opinions on this with your expertise. May I add that the girls mother isn't allowed to have an opinion on this. The father says she musn't interfere in the way he is trying to preserve family heritage. And what the daughter has done is islamically wrong from every angle.

Q: If a husband strictly prohibits his wife to use online chat platforms based on her life before marriage (she used to freely talk with non-mahrams - Alhamdulillah now she repented and practicing the proper ways now, May Allah forgive her and me). Even if she uses it to chat with her relatives he objects due to the fear that may lead to the temptation of her pre-marriage life. But he allows his wife to talk with her relatives through phone calls and by meeting directly with the proper hijaab. Is it right what the husband is doing or is he going to extremes?

Q: I wanted to ask something about relationship issues. My husband is very strictly religious and he reads lots of Islamic books through the whole day in his free time. Even at night I tell him to sleep early, at least at 12 o clock in the night but he reads the seerah of prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam and completes all the amal of zikr which is done under his shaykh. Then he goes to sleep at 3 or 4 am. I sometimes get upset about that. He doesn't give some of his free time to me and if I say anything he says that we must think of the aakhira, not the worldly life. Sometimes I comfort myself that what he's doing is to please Allah, so I don't bother him. But I want to know that what he's doing is it more rewardable than having free time with his wife and sleeping early with his wife?