Q: The following event took place over a year ago.
Zaid went off to study at the darul-uloom. Hinda was feeling neglected. Contact was made between Hinda and at least one third party male whom we shall call Zubair. Although no physical inappropriate would be proven, Zaid had gained recordings of some of the nightly phone conversations through a secret source which resided in the neighbourhood of Hinda. Zaid threatened her on one Sunday. The exchange of the dialogue was as follows:
Conversation one:
Zaid: Are you talking to a male other then myself?
Hinda: No.
Zaid: If you insist on lying, and if I ever said: you would be given one talaq, would you still insist on denying that you are not speaking to a male other then myself?
Hinda: I have never spoken to any male other then you. I am the daughter of an Aalim, who do you think I am?
Zaid: Ok, if you insist that you did not talk to a male that I have a recording of, than it is fine. If you did talk to a male other then myself, then one talaq falls upon you.
Hinda: I am not lying, why do you not trust me.
Conversation two: one to two weeks later:
Zaid: Look, I have proof that you have talked to a male other than me. This male is not a brother or uncle. You are talking to this male late at night. Is his name not Zubair (originals name has been change.)
Hinda: Nothing at all (meaning physical) happened, it was just a conversation. I was lonely…. (Based on Hindas acknowledgement of the conversation, does any talaq at all occur?)
Conversation three: Zaid meets her in the boarding of the madressa just before graduation:
Zaid: Can I please have the extra secret phone card (phone number) you have.
Hinda: I do not have any secret phone (sim card)
Zaid: Please be honest, and save our marriage. I beg you Hinda. Do you have a (sim) secret phone number?
Hinda: No, I don’t have a secret number; I told you that in front of my father few hours ago.
Zaid: If I was to tell you that if you have a secret sim (phone number) then a talaq would take place, would you go along with this?
Hinda: yes I would go along because I am not lying. I told you I do not have an extra phone number. There would be no need to threaten me with a divorce. You are just seeking a way out of our marriage.
Zaid: Ok, if you have an extra sim card other than the one I am aware of, or a secret phone number, than one talaq is given to you.
Conversation four:
Ziad: I know you have a secret card, please give it to me. I have a recording that proves this. Let’s call the number.
Hinda: ok, after searching her private belongings, she takes out the secret phone number. ‘Here it is.’ Extra (secret) phone number is handed over and a call is made to her father by her with the acknowledgement made as to the secret phone number she had with her. The same secret phone number she lied to in front of her father. The secret number she used to contact male other than her husband whilst residing in her father’s home.
Although I am ambivalent about our marriage, I have delayed in displaying the above scenario to anyone. It was document as it took place and kept aside. I really do not like my wife based on the above thing she had done, nor do I want a divorce. I can answer the above questions had a stranger brought me the case, but regarding my own matter, I am tongue tied. To make matters worse, a naqshabandi shiek was contacted by me. My father in law requested a need for continual reformation (islah). The shiek said the following to me: Are you married? Or do you think you are married? Sometimes we feel we are married but divorced and living in zina. Even since he mentioned these words, I have become paranoid regarding my situation.
Simply asked: How many talaq have taken place. This happened over a year ago. We have not physical met for over a year as a result of geographical separation.
The lady feels that no talaq has taken place and that shaytan is creating a wedge between the husband and wife. She has been told to mention the above matter to her alim father, but feels nothing negative (talaq) has taken place, so there is no need to make mention of the above. Zaid does not want to be with her, but his heart is not inclined to divorce based on certain Hadith. Also, did Zaid divorce her, or did she divorce herself due to lies as a default?
My parents and other family members would be devastated should the above constitute a divorce. Do I have to inform them about a divorce, that is, if you folks feel it has taken place. Or can I be silent about the matter.
