Rights of servants

Q: I have been living with my pensioner mother since I got married as I am the only child. We currently live in the same complex as my in laws and they are very accommodating of my mother and treat her kindly. I had a previous incident where my nanny left because my mother was talking ill about my husband, myself and my in laws. Bitter complaints and bringing me down. This isn't the first time. She has been complaining and bringing my husband down to many others. To the point where she makes herself seem like a victim and they actually despise me as she paints me out to be so nasty and cruel.

I have spoken to her on many occasions regarding this. She agrees not to do it and then a few months later I find out that she's talking about me, my husband or my in laws. She even complained to my mother in law about me continuously.

I have recently found out, once again that my helper (who also works for my in laws) wants to leave as my mother is talking about me, my husband and in laws behind our backs.

How do I defend my mother in a situation like this? My in laws know as the helper had to tell my mother in law to take her back full time as she works part time for me. I am at my wits end. I am so angry, hurt and frustrated. I cannot respect her. I want to know Islamically what is my duty regarding my mother and what rights do I have? I am so tired of her being manipulative and emotionally toxic. I am considering putting her into a retirement/old age home. It is as if she wants to intentionally ruin or cause drama in my marriage and between my in laws and I.

I need some advice as to how to handle this situation as my in laws are telling me to leave her and just continue as normal. I can't! I am so fedup of her causing unnecessary drama.

Q: Someone told me a secret and I promised not to tell anyone. However, because the person who told me the secret started telling others with whom he is not even close. I ended up telling someone else the secret. I know this is wrong and an act of hypocrisy. How do I go about in making taubah and making up for this sin?

Q: I sold my gold bracelet to the jeweller and my dad found out about it later on. He did not know that I had sold it. The bangle belonged to me but I’m still living with my parents.

My dads an alcoholic, he’s abusive and physically abusive as well. He thought that my house helper had stolen it and I remained quiet because I was too scared of how he would react. He got my house helper arrested and I remained quiet through out. Did I commit a sin? Will it count as stealing?

Q: What is the status of grandparents in Islam? 

If one is disobedient to his grandparents is the sin the same as if one was disobedient to his parents?

Q: I love all my family members, both maternal and paternal. But I am too lazy to phone them and sometimes extremely shy for other members of my family. Therefore I do not keep contact. Will I be regarded as one of those who break family ties?

Q: Is touching other people's things (for knowledge purposes only) without asking them a sin?

Q: Our relatives sometimes hurt us, like some of our cousins are jealous of us and do things that actually hurts us and try to degrade us. At first, all our relatives would dine with us but when they started being jealous of us, all our relatives were far away from us, especially from our family and because of that I am in very bad condition.

I am mentally disturbed... and I actually don't know what to do. I am just making sabr, because at this point I can't do anything and this thing is actually happening for 3 to 4 years already. What does Islam teach us to do at this point?

Q: Who should a man respect and love more, his mother or his wife?

Q: I get angry on small things and take out all the anger on my mother which I regret later on. Please can you give me some advice to assist me in my problem.

Q: I have two questions: 

1. How to deal with people called Ahmadiyah? A girl was apparently wearing a hijab like Muslim women do and I grew friendly with her but now I came to know she is Ahmadiyah and not Muslim. What should I do?

2. How to deal with relatives who are involved in *gunnah e kabeera* or greatest sins. They also perform black magic and admit it. Is the prohibition of not cutting off with relatives still there for us? When these people also harm my family and try to create obstacles for every important thing.