Rights of parents

Q: I don't know why my father wants me to further my education after using several years in secondary school. I believe that the years spent by me while in secondary school is too much, and I know that in Islam we don't have enough time to waste because death approaches someone suddenly. According to the word of Allah Ta'ala (الموت يأتى بغتتا).

With this, I believe it time for me to face my Lord and seek forgiveness, but my father wants me to go to university and I am not interested. I am confused. Please advise me.

Q: Can a Muslim baby call her mother mama or mom? Is there any sin if the baby calls the mother mom or mama?

Q: In the case where a mother has only two children; a man and a woman, and the man is the only person taking care of his mother (who is bedridden), the daughter doesn't have the capacity to assist, can the man clean her up and shower her by himself?

Q: At times I used to be harsh with my father but I asked him to forgive me because I never meant it and he said that he forgot and don't care about those times. After few days he passed away, I asked Allah to forgive me as my father forgave me. What am I supposed to do now as sometimes I am haunted by those thoughts.

Q: There seems to be a growing trend amongst our Muslims to pass on the responsibility of taking care of elderly parents to the daughters. Sons are evading the responsibilities although they inherit 2 shares and daughter in laws are afraid to accept that's it's the husband's responsibility and use hundreds of justifications on why the daughter should look after the elderly parents. Although knowledgeable about Allah's wisdom in choosing the sons, but are in total denial. In some instances, daughters are battling financially but are bullied into taking over the responsibility of the sons. Please advise and also have this as an ongoing discussion because people are conveniently stuck in their thinking about this issues because it doesn't serve their needs or are in huge denial although clearly spelt out in Allah's commands.

Q: My father has married our old housemaid secretly two years ago. We have recently found this out.

I have been financing his house and my own house for the last eight years. I have two disabled sisters and my mother in his household while I have my own daughter and husband in my household. I have been bearing the expenses of both the houses because my father told me he is saving money for our future. He has now spent all his savings on his second wife while I continue to finance his house as I have been doing. He does not pay a single dirham to my mother or myself for anything and his demands increase every day. He is also very verbally abusive.

My three day old son died and he made my pregnancy very stressful by his constant fighting and he fought very badly with me a week after my son died. He tells me that taking care of my sisters and himself is my Islamic duty and that he has finished fulfilling his Islamic duty before he got a second wife.

He is now only financing his second wife while he continues to stay with us. He is also selling the property that I thought I would inherit one day and he insists I have no right on that property as well. He is building a house for his second wife in her name.

Please advise me, from an Islamic point of view, what is my duty in this situation? Is what I am doing my Islamic duty? Will I punished in the afterlife for withdrawing financial support for my disabled sisters and mother? How am I supposed to deal with my father's behaviour in the view of Islam? 

Q: Do I need to ask my parent's permission if I want to go out on dinner with my wife? Am I committing a sin if I don't ask for permission? 

Q: I do shar’ee purdah covering all the parts of my body except my eyes, Alhamdulilah. I avoid the company of ghair mahrams to the best of my ability... But my parents are not at all happy with this, especially covering my face and wearing only black clothes (abaya). They feel ashamed about it and also compel me to come in front of ghair mahrams e.g., servants, masu, pufoo, etc. without the niqaab.

My mother especially, constantly keeps rebuking me and saying that by doing such I am hurting her and disobeying her and that she feels embarrassed by my entire black niqaab and attire... and by hurting her I will never stay at peace through my life and so on.

As far as I am concerned I know that if I am disobedient to Allah, I can never be obedient and loyal to anybody, be that my parents especially my mother. And respect and humiliation are both under the divine supremacy of Allah... I, in no way want to compromise to what my parents say just to please them or their social circle.

1. If I am wrong , please tell me what should I do?

2. And if I am right in disobeying and disrespecting/hurting my parents in this regard then I would request you to please give a piece of advice to my parents especially my mother.

Q: What should I do if my mom doesn’t allow me to wear imaamah and white Shalwar Kameez (Sunnah attire). She only lets me wear it at home and the masjid and not if we go to any person’s house, the mall or anywhere else. Am I right in saying that I have to listen to her because listening to her is Fardh and wearing white and wearing imaamah is sunnah.

Q: My parents had given my brother some pocket money which he had collected and saved till it was 900. Then financial problems came and my parents took my brothers money and used it and my brother could not tell them anything. Now he demands for the money to be returned. My parents say that it was we who gave you the money, so there is no loan upon us. What should be done?