Rights of parents

Q: I have a best friend and when she was young her mother always used bad words or would curse her saying "Go and eat so and so pooh". Presently she feels that because her mother used these words, her life is miserable. She always struggles in life with work and even with her proposals. Whenever she gets a good proposal, it breaks up and she feels guilty because Allah Talla accepted her mothers curse. She even helped her mother whenever she was hospitalized and financially. What is the Islamic way how on how a daughter should be treated? What would be the status of the mother on the day of judgement and how can my friend overcome this situation? She always repents to Allah for these curses.

Q: Are you sinning if you disobey your parents if you refuse to marry who they want you to?

Q:

1. Is straightening with one's legs stretched out in the presence of  one's parents haraam?

2. What if this is done on the presence of an elder?

3. Is it allowed to sit with one's legs stretched out while eating? Is it showing disrespect to the food?

Q: I am very depressed even though I pray salaah five times a day and sometimes I pray tahajud too. I read Quraan 3 or 4 times a day. I think that I am disobedient towards my parents...

My mother always wants me to study but when I open my books I cant focus. Moreover I have applied for a job at the bank but when I open the books to study, thoughts come to my mind that it is haraam and Allah will punish me. My mother wants me to work and I am very depressed.

I make lots of dua and offer nafl prayers too. I ask Allah to help me so that no one will be displeased with me.

Please advice me so that I can come out of this depression.

Q: My parents are aged. MashaAllah both are alive. My father is in 80’s and my mother is in 70’s. I’m the youngest child and my age is 25 years. I’m a resident of Pakistan and I've got admission in Ireland.

If I talk about the opportunity, it has a bright scope in future to move to Ireland. If I talk about my parents relationship then I’m in a doubt whether I’m missing the opportunity to live with my parents in their old age.

I seek your guidance whether to go to Ireland or continue to live with my parents in the light of the Holy Quran and the teachings of Nabi Muhammad (sallalaho alaihi wasallam) so that my heart could feel relief and I could further take a decision.

Q: Who makes decisions for a child after the age of 13/14? If it is the child who makes the decision, then what will happen to the parents if they forcefully make the child do otherwise and likewise if the parents make the decisions and the child does not obey?

Q: My father doesn't take his responsibility as a father and he doesn't respond when spoken to and I stopped greeting him, am I sinful?

Q: I have a question which relates to taking care of my old and aged mother.

My father passed away long ago. I am the only son with three sisters. All of us are married and living separately with our families in different places. Mother is living alone in our homeland in a separate house. I am living with my family and earning my livelihood in a different country. I am the only earner for my family and for my mother. One of my sisters is also living with her family in a different country. My two sisters with their husbands and children live in the same city where my mother lives.

My mother is alone and she is managing her mandatory works like going to toilet alone, taking bath, changing clothes etc. She expresses the desire that her children should come and help her in her hour of need. Also she does not want to shift in any daughter’s house who are living in the same city nearby. I have following question to ask,

1. Who is responsible to take care of mother, myself only or my sisters or all of us.

2. If in case I am responsible, then can I make a satisfactory arrangement for my mother by keeping a maid to help her in her household works like cooking food and taking care for her other works.

3. If in the case where I am responsible, is it obligatory for me as per sharia to leave my livelihood and return back and stay with my mother and take care for her. 

Q: My question is pertaining to relationship of my children with their grand father (husbands father).

My in laws are divorced now for a very lone time. With the result that there is no communication between my husband and father in law at all. Since being married and having kids now I would like my children to have a relationship with their grand father (Dada) as my father (Nana) is late. I have posed the question to my husband regarding this and he said that his father is aware of his grandchildren but has not made contact. But my feeling is that his father has not made any contact because father and son are not on talking terms and as result he has kept his distance.

Should I leave it and not pursue this any further or shall I try and make contact with my father in law even though he does not know me. What is the correct action to be done here. Please advise.

Q: I was married recently. My wife wants us to live in a different place than my parents and I know it's in Islam that she has the right for a separate place. I'm more than happy to live with her in a different place. But, Islam also says that the son has the responsibility to care for his parents. I want to know how am I supposed to live with my wife in a different place and simultaneously take care of my parents.