Q: I want to ask if a man embraced Islam for almost 13 years and his wife also and children embraced but his wife and children don't want to perform salah and other obligations of a Islam. His childrena ages are 20 years and above. What should he do? Is it right to divorce her?
Q: I have been married for a year now. 6 months into my marriage I found out that my husband had been cheating on me. He was involved with a girl even before we got married and he continued that unlawful relationship throughout my marriage with him. When I found out, I didn't have the courage to tell him I knew, so I indirectly told him to get rid of the girl to which he agreed. That didn't happen. He continued lying to me and having relations with that girl. Finally, after giving him a chance to fix things, a month ago I confronted him. I told him I knew he was involved with another girl and that what he is doing is completely wrong. I asked him what he wanted and he told me that he wants to continue our marriage and wants me to give him another chance. So I did, for the sake of Allah. He said he broke all ties with her. Atleast infront of me he did. I knew he was broken up because he loved that girl and I know he doesn't love me. The problem is, we aren't too close to eachother. He doesn't ever tell me what's wrong with him if something is bothering him. He suffers from anxiety and depression and tends to isolate himself from the world. I feel like he and I have alot of distance between us. We have not emotionally bonded due to which sometimes I feel like I am living with a man that is fulfilling his duties unto me but there is no emotional connection between us. I know it will take him time to get over that girl but it tears me apart. I will never know if he has truly stopped talking to her. He uploads random depressing posts and statuses from time to time and I cant help but think that they all are referring to that girl! How am I supposed to trust him after that betrayal? He has been trying to fix things ever since I confronted him, but I don't really know if he has actually let go of that girl. Its been a month now and at times my heart still feels very uneasy. I sometimes feel like he contacted her again but i will never know the truth. Yesterday he posted something about letting go and giving up on someone you love and his status said 'I hope you find a love that you dont have to question'. What does all of that mean? I feel like he is sending that message out to his gf! I dont know what to do! I tend to get so miserable. How am I supposed to spend my life with a man that does not love me? How am I supposed to trust him after all those lies? What should I do to improve my marriage? My heart hurts so much. I sometimes wish I never met him. And now I'm in love with him and I don't want to let him go. But I also can't continue to live like this.
Q: My sister is having extra marital affair with my husband for the last 7 years. During this time, my two babies were born. Now my sister got married to someone else. Kya mera nikah abhi tak qaim ha? Mere husband ke meri behen ke sath ta'allukaat ki waja se mera nikah toot tou nahi gaya?
Q: I am a divorced woman with 1 baby boy. My last marriage ended because my ex husband was draining me financially. He sent me a divorce as soon as our child was born. Life became very difficult and I was mentally upset for my child. I married again very quickly to the elder brother of a man my younger sister was engaged to. These people were also lower in status financially but we agreed to it because they were willing to take my son too. That man has turned out to be schizophrenic. He sleepwalks, tries to suffocate himself or me, assumes things and acts so scary that I feel concerned for our safety. He beats me, abuses me, tries to scare my son badly. I often find my son scratched in various places and scared. I am expecting another child now. He is using me entirely for money, treats me like a servant even though I am heavily pregnant and cant walk. I pay the bills, grocery. I even leave my kid with my sister sometimes because I feel too scared for what he witnesses. People of our society will kill me for another divorce and he is always threatning me with it. His entire family is like this and they want to beat me to the ground. They wont let me end my sisters engagement unless I want a divorce again. I am so badly stuck and I am always so afraid in his company. My son has also told me in broken language that he touches his private parts. Please help me! I am extremely worried and scared.
Q: My wife has left me to live with her boyfriend but we still talk and I still love her. Should I give her a divorce or try and get back with her?
Q: I am married from last 4 years and have no kids. My wife is from a big city and she always has a will to settle at her home city, but I was not ready. In 3rd year of marriage, she managed to take me to her home-parental city to settle. But then, she use to avoid me, spend times with her friends and relatives only not with me. She use to roam here and there like any college girl and avoids me.. Nor she cook food for me , nor she sleep nor even talk for an hours in a day to me & she use to insult me , directly - indirectly. NOT LISTENING TO ME IN SUPPORTS OF HER FAMILY - JUST AVOIDING ME , WHICH KEEPS ME HURTING & SURPRISING... So I decide to come back to my native place city and she refuse then ... she didn't come till date & from last 13-14 month I am waiting for her to come back . Intentionally She is not talking to me nor coming to my home s…..…..in an wish that she will not live with me at my parental house and forcing me settle at her maternal city, where i am not comfortable my whole family tried to talk her and ask her to come back … We have put an middle man to solve the issue and make them talk...but no result , whereas...... On the other-side her family starts creating Negative scene against me…. and her brother keep asking that middle man that we will file fake case of Dowry & domestic violence ..etc Till now i did not want to give her divorce but No response is coming from her & her family members --- we are totally BLANK from last 13-14 month , how to go about. Now we offer them , if she want an end-ship, she should give me divorce from her side , I am not give from my side to avoid to bear the legal consequences But Nor she is coming back and nor giving me Divorce !! How to Go about safer Solution , ........... Pls advice what to do in this situation... What is a FATWA advice for men like me : to get rid and free me from this lady and save my life.
Q: Mera shohar sirf hokam deta hy or meri koi bat nai manta na muje mere ma bap ke ghar jane deta hy shadi ko srf 1 sal howa ma ke ghar 1 he dafa gae hon .. shohar ka ghr karachi me or ma ka peashawar me hy ... shohar khud dubai me hy or sasural me me akeli hon ma bap ke ghar bht jane ka dil karta hy par nai chorta kahta hy Allah ne muje ye haq deya hy chaheye me choron ya nai .. mera shohar baki to bht acha hy par meri her bat us ke smne ghlt or onki her bat sai hy chaheye wo ghlt b ho ... me jab ma bap ke ghar jane ki bat karty hn to mere ma bap ko bad dua deta hy ke Allah inko mot de de meri jan in se chot jae.. muje damki deta hy ke onki zindagi barbd krdonga mere bhai ko br br fon krta hy ke tmhari ma idr fon nai kare or muje fon krne nai deta me chup chup k fon krdety hn ... meri ma or bap akele hy ghar me koi nai hy bhai ki shadi nai howe wo swat me kam karta hy .. or ma bht bemr hy .. me apne shohr se kahty hn muje jane de ap waise b idr nai hy me idr room me bet bet ke tang hon idr b bahr nai chorta din rat mbl pe bt krty hy hum .. baki bht acha hy likan maa ke ghar nai chorta .. din rat wazife karty hn pir b on pe k6 asar nai hota .. maa ka nam lon to bs jagra karke mbl behan se kah ke le leta hy ... meri 3 nand hy 3no ki shadi howe hy pir b idr rahty hy .. on ke shohar ne in ko ma ke ghar betaya hy ke kharacha on ka na ho on ke shohar b dubai me hy.. ye log din rat gomty rahty hy ... mera b dil karta hy ke me b maa ke 7 rahon... roz ghar me larhai jagre hoty hy .. sas ko 3no betiyan pata nai kia kia kahke mere opar sare shoro hojaty hy ... me idr tang hon bhtttt zaida .. mene apne shohar se kaha me in ki tara maa k ghar salo sal nai raongy srf 1 mahene ke liye jane de ... par jane nai deta shadi ke bad sirf 1 dafa maa ke ghar gae hon 1 sal shadi ko hogaya hy ... pahle b larai jagro se maa k ghar 3 mahene bad gae ty abi to full zid pe ara hy .. ap koi wazifa bata de ke shohar bat mane muje maa ke ghar jane de .. idr me jab qurran majid parhty hn to b kahty hy qurran parhty hy amal nai karty or khud idr is ghar me sirf sas nemz parhty hy baki nande dewar sasur koi nemz nai parhta .. jab room ka darwaza kolty hn to kahty hy begam samne bety hy jab band karty hn to kahty hy medam darwaza band karke bety hy me in sub se bht tang hon ... shohar in mamlo me pahle sath deta ta abi parwa nai karta .. apki shukar gozar hongy ...
Q: I feel so heart broken when my husband told me I must not wake him up for salaah or to remind him. He even told me he is already a sinner and halfway in his grave. I'm am obedient wife, always recite my Quran and went for pilgrimage. Should I just let him be to avoid any stress in our marriage.
Q: I want to ask if it is permissible for husband to talk and chat with his cousins daughter who is around 21 year? They talk several times' daily and he assure me that he cant marry her but still Im worried as i have read his conversations and he asks for her pics and want to talk on phone with her. He also want to open academy and want her to work as a teacher there as she is looking for a job. We live abroad, but i don't like this frequent chatting between them. So i want to know, is this 'friendship' a sin and haraam for my husband? How should I confront him?
Q: My wife and I have been married for over 13 years. In this 13 years about 12 years we living with the constant interference of my mother in law. Things has now become so bad that I feel our relationship has hit rock bottom and fear of us splitting. My mother in law is a very strong willed women that is running her house and makes all the decisions for her family, even though my father in law is there he is not allowed to make or do any decisions that she does not agree with, I’ve learnt that through reaching out to him that he is not as he was made out to be. All my marriage I was made to believe that my father in law is a bad person and he dislikes me.
My mother in law is the type of mother who wants all her kids with her constantly and beware your soul if you decide any different. As a parent myself I can understand that but there has to be limits when it comes to your grown daughters that has a family of their own and also husbands. She is in charge of all my wife’s siblings and luckily for them they have spouses with different personalities then mine. Much like my mother in law I too have a strong willed personality and don’t allow anyone to dictate to me what to do and how to do it, I make dua that Allah soften my heart so I can just let things be however I feel that my wants and needs also needs to be respected. As husband I need to be respected and allowed to make decisions for my family. I’m not unreasonable however I cannot be expected to “dance to anyone’s tune” I’m a very sensible and mature individual whom family members, friends, workers and even elders approach for assistance when in need.
My mother in-law before going on Hajj approached me and asked forgiveness, she came clean and told me she interfered in my marriage, which I’ve forgiven her for and thought that would be the end of it. I really tried to be more accommodating however still had my guard up because she has done too much and said too much hurtful things. Don’t get me wrong she has a good heart and does a lot for the community and others in need, however when it comes to her interference in the way we should live our lives, whom we have over at our house even if it’s my family, its unbearable.
Lately she has become even worst, constantly going at my wife for silly things and this all in front of our kids whom is at an age where they understand what is going on. She even went so far to tell my wife not to come and greet her on Eid day all because my wife was busy with Eid preparations and missed her calls and forgot to phone back. The thing is my wife’s younger sister also gets involved and then they gang up against her, telling her she will never be successful and that’s why her sister has more because she listens and cares more for her mother. My wife being the type of laid back person that never stands up for herself is just like that, many a times I get upset because she don’t answer her phone or delay things to the very end then I need to pick up the pieces. In all this I not once told my wife to stay away because it’s her family. My wife would be upset then it’s me trying to repair the relationship with her family by calling her father and ask him to speak to my wife and his. I don’t keep her away from her family as I know she cares and loves them even more than me, which I don’t have a problem with. Even when they have a crisis they call on me at 3am in the morning and I get up to assist, but yet I’m seen as a selfish, self-centered and egotistical person.
I’ve taken a stance on my own side and decided to keep my interaction with my mother in-law and sister-in law to a bare minimum, its salaam, how are you and that its. I do not visit however when they do have functions I attend for a short while. I’ve exhausted all avenues and don’t know what to do any more. We had countless mashooras with family elders and this always cause more friction between the families, more so our mothers. My wifes health has also not been good and this added pressure from both sides is not doing her any justice. This has cause major problems in our relationship and there’s days that we go without saying a word to each other because she refuses to listen to my side and her mother constantly want to do and say as she pleases and then after a day or two ask for forgiveness. How much longer we can go on like this, I don’t know as its making us both unhappy and our kids thinks that this type of life is normal.
Can you please provide some guidance from an Islamic perspective on how I should deal with this situation, in order for all parties involved to be fairly treated.