mother

Q: One of my friends has a very serious issue at home. His mother is having a relationship with a man for the last 10 years. She is still married to my friends father. The whole family knows about the mothers relationship with this man, even her husband knows. My friend tried talking to his family but no one wants to resolve this matter. He is very worried and his mother is still having a relationship with this man. He took all possible steps to resolve the issue but nothing happened. Kindly explain what he should do now? Can he break all relations with his mother and leave all of them?

Q: I have a care taker working for me in my home helping me to look after my old mother. Recently she told me that legally she is unable to work in this country. I was unaware of this and I am worried for my mother as she needs the care. Should I end the care takers employment or can I give her a gift rather than wages and keep her on? My two brothers are paying me for the care taker and they said that they are responsible for her payment. If I can give her a gift then how do I calculate the amount I pay her?

Q: I am a 25 year old Sunni Muslim girl. My father chose a boy for me and I got married two months back but my mother doesn't like the groom from day one because he is financially unstable and she is kind of possessive towards me. Now she wants that I should take a divorce and if I don't take a divorce, she will break all her relations with me. I don't have much of a problem with him and I m happy with him. I am in a dilemma, what should I do? I love both of them and I don't want to lose either my husband nor my mother.

Q: If someone commits zina with a woman and later he commits zinnah with her daughter. Now he got married to the daughter. Is the nikaah or should he divorce her? What should he do?

Q: My mother verbally abuses me a lot and says it's her right as a parent to treat me how she wants, whenever I try to say anything she says I'm rude, ungrateful etc I know Islam says to respect parents no matter what but I can't help but feel resentment towards her and I can't handle her doing this anymore. What is the Islamic perspective on a situation like this one?

Q: I am writing in regards to my situation.

My mother is a single parent with my father having left when we were very young. Many people have sent proposals and my mum refuses each one without any valid reason. Now there has been one proposal from someone I like and I am happy with but my mother is refusing and when asked why says "just".

My grandmother (my mother's mother) and my mum's sister and uncle have looked into the man and his family and are satisfied with his deen and character and from people that know them we have found out that they are respected and humble practising people and the boy is of good character and practising masha'allah. I am very happy with this and would like to go ahead and the rest of my family are also happy but my mum just wont let me get married and won't let me even speak about it and doesn't have any valid reason to say.

I don't know what to do in this situation as I only have my mother as my guardian as my father didn't keep in touch since he left and my brother is only 20 and unfortunately got into the wrong crowd and not at home. My mum doesn't have any brothers either, only sisters. My mother unfortunately does not prioritise deen and I know that either she will not want me to marry for years or the people she may eventually consider will not be based first and foremostly on deen which is what I want.

I don't know what to do in this situation as I would like to marry this person and all the rest of my family are happy with the proposal. I would appreciate your guidance on this matter

Q:

1. Please advise on the following matter.

A person was looked after by their grandmother from birth to until their grandmother died.At the age of 13 the person learnt that their mother did not want them at birth.The mother in the meantime married a Tamil man who after some time became muslim.The mother had another child and chose to look after the second child and felt uncomfortable around the first child.As time went on still staying with the second child who married a Christian lady and chose to be Christian the mother still stayed with child number 2. Many years after child number 1 married and migrate overseas due to being unemployed. Child number 1 benefited because the mother was working and had her house.As time went by child number 2 managed to transfer the house onto their name and now when the mother is old does not want to look after her.The mother on the other hand refuses to stay anywhere else as she has devoted her whole life to child number

2. What is the obligation of child number 1 as they reside overseas. Inshallah please advise on this important matter.

Q: The issue I have is with my parents. When I was 14,a friend of mine visited me and she used to talk to guys. As I was a kid, and insensible, I started doing that too. After a month, she left but this became my habit. My parents caught me with this and got very mad. They even rose their hand at me,to make me understand. But as it became a habit, I could not get off it. I then came back to Pakistan, and still had this habit in me. I went onto anonymous chat sites to talk to guys and yet, once again my mother caught me. She rose her hand again and she gave me a bad dua that I will suffer the way she is because of me. I will keep an eye on my kids when I will have them. My husband won't trust me ever. He will keep an eye on me, On my each move. I won't be able to sleep peacefully because I will always be scared of what my kids are doing. She said this to me on the first mistake too. Then, when I was 16 and 17, I got emotionally attached with two guys. One when I was 16 was my cousin. We were serious about each other but our families couldn't bond. My mother said that I wont be able to fit in their family style and secondly the guy, himself used to talk everything about us to another girl, who was interested in him previously and still was. So I stepped back. At the age of 17, I got interested in a guy from my school. He liked me too. And we used to talk. One night, when he was calling, the phone vibrated and my father came back from. His work. As the phone was on charge, my father took it in hand and I was once again in trouble. My mother gave me the same bad duas again. And everything happened as before. And now, am 19. I love a guy who I've met through the girl who I told you about. I am very serious about him and want to marry him. He is 9 years older than me and due to his age, his family is asking him to get married. He has refused many proposals because of me. He stated his love for me when I was 18, so I asked him to wait one year so that I can turn 19. As many Nikah's in my family have been done at the age of 19 of girls. He agreed and waited a year for me. Now when I talk to my mother and I speak the truth of how I met him ((through the girl), she says she does not trust me. I am lying. As I have been into this dirt ever since I was a kid. I am not loyal anymore. I am just a liar, who can never speak truth. But my Allah knows, how honest I am regarding this. And how loyal, and serious I am. Before this, I was caught with a phone (not given by my parents), which I used to talk to him. At that time, my father gave me a choice to either leave him once and forever or to leave the house. He also said that if this kind of thing happens again, he will kill both, I and him. I talked to my mother regarding this man yesterday, and she gave me the same bad duas. I am seeking forgiveness from Allah ever since I gained consciousness. I have made uncountable duas for him and I getting together. And getting into Nikah asap. We have waited, had patience. And during all this time, I was in contact with him beside saying I wont as I couldn't keep myself away from him. Please help me. Tell me what is right and what is wrong. I am very sincere and loyal and honest to have to keep this relationship and turn it into Nikah asap. Please help me, how do I make my parents believe me? And my main concern : will my mother's bad dua become true in the future? Are mother's negative duas qabool'ed by Allah? I am very restless. Please help me. I want to get out of that dirt which I still am in somewhere. I want to make myself pious and righteous. I want to get into Nikah asap with the respect, love of my parents and his parents. My mother also said that when I will be married, my father and mother, both will be very thankful that finally, I left. And they won't want to keep any contact with me. They don't want my younger sister to get in the wrong path as I have. And they don't want my bad resemblances on her. Please help me. I am repenting from Allah since forever, I have begged him, cried in front of him. He knows am pure at heart and that I really want to marry this man rightfully. Please, guide me to the right path.