arguments

Q: I understand that there has to be a niyyah when one says a phrase of kinaya talaaq. I wondered that if one is arguing, and one gets a feeling like wanting to divorce or a feeling like "come on do it now (leave her) and then says a kinaya statement like "go to your father", all happening in seconds, is that a clear intention that is necessarry? But if the person asks himself a few moments later did you want to definetly divorce her now by that, the answer is no. What do i do now as i dont know whether it was an intention that counted or not? 

Q: I wanted to enquire if it is permissible for me to use the coil or any other contraceptives. The reason being is that I got married 8 months ago and ever since I have been facing alot of problems at the hands of my mother in law. Problems were increasing day by day which included abuse, emotional harassment and insult. My husband wasn't able to do much either and it all resulted in big arguments with my husband too.

Now its been 2 months since I'm at my parents house and the problems just increased and went to such an extent where my marriage was on the verge of ending. Im trying to makeup with my in-laws with the help of my father in law, however I dont think I can have children after all these issues. I would like to see if my husband has realised his mistakes and actually changed in the long run before I plan to have children. My husband isnt willing to understand this point of mine but I think I cant risk my life or my childs life as if things remain the same I will have to seek khula which I hope doesn't happen.

Thus would it be permissible for me to have the coil inserted or use any other methods of contraceptive without my husband's consent and it being in his knowledge. I hope this isnt classed as me decieving my husband.

Q: We have been married for 42 years. Her father objected and still to this day refuses to speak to me despite me extending my hand many times. He did not attend the weddings of our children even though they went to ask him personally. My wife recently went to meet him against my wishes - she says she has a right because it's her father, is this allowed?

Q: There are musallees who are repeatedly making attempts to overthrow my father from his position as a musjid trustee who has been doing most of the good work single handedly, now I see my friends who I trust that are joining those musallees and claiming that they want to assist my father. I feel uncomfortable in their presence when I go for salaah because I know that some of them have negative feelings towards me and my father. How do I approach this situation as I want go to musjid without ill feelings towards them?