Singing and dancing on the occasion of nikaah

Q: In 2-3 months I'm getting married. We are Pakistanis so in our culture before the wedding day we do an event called Dholki where people get together and sing and dance. I'm trying to avoid doing haram things. 

Is it possible to use drums at the event? Is it only duff that is permissible? The event will be a female only event. Can we dance? At the nikaah event can we use music with only vocals and drums?