Q: My husband and I are both reverts. I have no mahram to protect my rights. I found out on Tuesday that my husband has a new wife. It was secret for a few weeks (he claims he can't remember how long he is married. I estimate 2 weeks to a month) that was Tuesday, and on Thursday he left for a planned 40 day jamaat. As you can imagine, now is the time I need his assurances more than anytime. I am trying to be obedient and accept his new wife. I am really trying hard. But, he let slip that he bought her salaah tops, scarves and tasbeeh. In our whole 5 year marriage, he has never, ever given me a single gift. And he said that his gifts to her don't include me as it to help her live her live as a Muslim. Is that true? My husband, has told me many lies over the last few weeks, and I asked him multiple times. Does he have a new wife. He repeatedly denied it. He also lied about his repeated 3 days that he had recently. How do I forgive him, and start trusting again? My last, important question. How do I find my Allah again? When I try to pray or make my zikrs or even just speak to my Allah. I feel like there is a door in front of me that I can't penetrate. I can't sleep or eat. I am fasting so I can try to be closer to Allah. I am making my salaahs on time. Sir, I love my husband and I want to make it work, and I want to regain my relationship with Allah. I also have to accept her. If I die, she raises my children. And he is threatening to take my children, he is threatening to leave me and take them. If I don't comply completely with everything he wants. What can I do?