Speaking freely and being casual with one's sister in-law

Q: I was like kind of attracted to my sister in-law. About a year back my wife and I where having an argument. She was telling me that she does not like me talking to her sister and that I'm always talking to her sister etc. I always like had the thought that the rule regarding where a man touches his mother in-law with lust nikah breaks may also apply to the sister in law also. I also had doubts as to whether the rule may apply to the sister in law. I was not completely sure. Anyway, during that argument I told my wife "you know if I even touch .... (my wifes sister) nikah breaks" with no intention of any taalaq at all. I wasn't suspending or issuing a talaaq I wasn't even thinking about taalaq. I just told her that for it to seem as though that is the Islamic ruling. I just guessed/made up/lied for it to seem that that is the Islamic ruling and for her not to worry and to give assurance. I had absolutely no intention of any talaaq. The only intention I may have had was not to touch my sister in law because its a sin. After couple of months I touched my sister in-law with lust then after a few months I may have touched her with lust again. I was told by various Muftis that no talaaq or suspended talaaq takes place.

1. After getting these fatwas I have started to get strong waswasas that I had intention. I get thoughts like "think properly about your intention" "this happened so long ago how can you be so sure you had no intention". All this while I was certain that I had no intention at all, I was 100% sure. Now this waswasa is making me have doubts which is really affecting me. I was told to ignore waswasa. What I'm trying to say is that all this while I was certain I had no intention only after getting fatwas from muftis that I am safe then these thoughts came up.

2. Another thought that came to my mind was supposing the statement I made was "you know if I even touch her our nikah breaks" and not "you know if I even touch her nikaah breaks". With no intention (same situation as above in the 1st paragraph) I asked this question to another two muftis and they both told me the ruling is still the same. No talaq. 

3. Once a long time ago after getting fatwas from muftis, my sister in law sat next to me and I was so tempted to touch her and I knew that waswasa was going to start and I said in my mind only, not verbal something like "now its three talaqs and shaytaan must stop worrying me"  and allowed my body to touch against hers? Am I safe? Can that be talaaq? Regardless of the intention talaaq has to be be verbal or written for it to be valid am I correct? Am I safe? Is there any talaq in these situation? I humbly await your reply. 

​I make dua to Allah that he forgives me for the sin of touching my sister in-law with lust.

Islamic attire in college

Q: I am from India. I did not offer Namaz regularly before 1 year. I did not know the difference even between Mahram and Gair Mahram. I was spending my time in music and other major sins. But Alhamdulillah! Allah Ta'ala took me out of the valley of sins. Now I perform Salaah on time, and do not listen music. My life changed by the bayans of Ulama likes of Hazrat Maulana Syed Anzar Shah Qasmi D.B. Now I wear the cloths like the Ulama-e-Deoband, I always wears a Topi. I passed class 12th this year and now I am to get admission in any collage. I will have to wear uniform defined by college. But I don't want to wear pants and shirt. I want to study more but I don't want to wear pants and shirt. But if I goes to college, I will have to wear pants and shirt. Please tell me that what should I do?

Bad dreams

Q: Its the second day I am having bad dreams. The first dream was a boy and girl were killed with a knife and they died. The second dream was a older boy getting shot in the head and he dies. Can you please tell me what these dreams mean? 

Breastfeeding while fasting

Q: I would be grateful if Mufti Saheb could advise me on what is best course of action with regards to my situation as follows:

Ramadhan is just around the corner. I have a 9 month old baby who is breastfeeding and two other children. The fasting days, will be very long, as I live in the UK. What should I do in this situation?

  1. Should I carry on breastfeeding while I observe the fasts?
  2. Or should I wean my baby off so then I may be able to fast bearing in mind that she's hardly one year old in age?
  3. Or do I continue breastfeeding but do not observe fast and make up the fasting days immediately after Ramadhan?
  4. Or should I teach her to drink from the bottle, drinking my milk, and observe the fasts?

Please advise accordingly.  Also, I am a Shafi'ee.