Holding a grudge against one's father

Q: I am a 36 year old divorced woman living at my parents' place. I have some past grudges and current complaints against my father, I consider him responsible for most of my misfortunes; but since he is my father, I need to be respectful, but the problem is I get out of my control as soon as I happen to see him or even worse, if he speaks to me or wants me to do something for him. All my distress comes back and my injuries get fresh again. This is why I try to avoid him but most of the time this is not possible since we are living in the same house, though I keep quiet in front of him, but as soon as he is gone, I start shouting, cring, beating myself and cursing him and using abusive language about him. I don't do this intentionally but it just happens and I cannot do anything about it. I am extremely stressed and emotionally disturbed due to this. It's happening for more than five years.

Kindly suggest some remedy.

Undergoing surgery to become impotent

Q: I am an unmarried male close to my thirties. My urges have become very extreme and sometimes out of control. My parents are not agreeing on getting me married. I am now very worried due to the fear that I might fall into the sinful act of zina due to my extreme urges. My question is that is it ok in Islam if I kill my sex drive permanently or become impotent by my own wish in order to avoid adultery?