Q: Your advice is being sought for the following:
In case a wife who has been advised not to do 'eyebrow shaping' (epilation des sourcils) numerous times by her husband, but the wife does not obey her husband and still does it often due to peer pressure because her sisters do it often. What course of action may the husband take?
Q: Today I saw a white spot on my wife's shalwar. I was amazed but I didnt ask her. Is it possible it can be any woman disease or my wife is unfaithful with me?
Q: When hypocrisy is in the heart how to cure it?
Q: I am in a dilemma. The scenario is as such. I am newly married. My wife teaches in a masjid full time Hifz and drives there and back home. She is not living with me at the moment. She will start living with me at the end of April. I disapprove of this teaching in the masjid and the driving.
The thing is my wife said she wants to continue teaching and driving back and forth. She says that she will be bored in the day and wants to keep herself busy. I totally disagree and feel she can do her own dor and teach at home.
My dad gives me mushwara to let her drive and work in the masjid and so does her father until we, inshaAllah have a child.
I feel this totally negates the shariah. I am very sad at the moment and feel like crying because they make me feel like I'm stopping her from something good. I don't want her to work or drive. What is your advice on how I should proceed in this matter?
Q: My sister in law, that means my husbands younger sister, when she feeds her son breast milk, she takes her breasts out and feeds her son in an open room. My father in law, my brothers in law and my husband are all living together. When she breastfeeds her son, she doesn't close the room door but keeps the door wide. My husband went in that room to take his things but he didn't mean to go see her with an ugly mind. I too didn't mean that my husband is going to the room with an ugly mind. I know he is going to take his things which is in that room but when I was talking to my husband about this matter, I ask my husband "How do you have permission to go in that room when she was taking her breasts out, it is not permissible in Islam." Then my husband complained that I have an a ugly mind about his sister and he says that I'm an ugly woman and I'm suspecting their pure relationship. It's not like that wallahi, as a wife my husband hasn't seen my whole body. It's hurts me. That's why I am asking regarding his sister. He says that he has the total permission to go in front of his sister even if she feeds with her breasts out. Does my husband have permission to see his sisters body parts as a brother?
Q: I am married and pregnant with my first child. Currently I am staying with my parents in Saudi while my husband is in Kenya. I came for iqamah renewal. My husband sent a ticket for me to return but my parents got involved by not letting me go. Now my husband sent a text saying that he doesn't want me because of my parents. I tried calling and texting him but he isn't replying nor is his sister replying. Is getting away from my parents be wrong Islamically? I don't know what else to do.
Q: I have this problem that has been bothering me for over 4 months now. I don't know what to do.
People tell me to pray and you will forget about it. But it is very difficult and I feel like no one understands me.
I used to work last year September till November so I worked only for 2 months. Within that 2 months my manager (who is 30 and I'm 19) has always supported me, and was there for me. We both grew a trusting relationship where we told eachother everything. Even when it came to talking about our illnesses and family problems with eachother. Bear in mind that he is a divorcee and married again. He has been there to support me and when no one understood me, his the only one that did.
Since I left my job, I feel like I'm going mental because I can't stop thinking about him. He told me about his illness so I gave him a Quran speaker, so hearing recitation keeps him calm. I cannot go through a single prayer without making dua for him. I can't sleep at night but worry if his okay, 24/7 (I mean 24/7) I think about him and question myself "is he ok" and pray to Allah to keep him safe and happy.
I know that I have no affection towards him. And I know myself that I am not allowing Shaytaan to play with my head. It's a Muslim sister worrying about her brother. I finished a Quran khatam for him, and I call up my store using a private number so when I hear his voice I know his safe and ok.
It's been 4 months and I still can't forget about him. I really don't know what to do it's very difficult and I really need help!
Q: My wife has gone to Pakistan with our 1 year old boy. She has been sleeping with her 17 year old nephew who she claims is like her son. She used to bath him when he was young. I told her that I don't like it. I even told her sisters that I don't like it and I told my wife to stay away from him but she does not listen.
I was talking to her last week and she was laying down on the bed and her nephew came over and lied down on top of her. She laughed at me and said that she was busy and hung up the phone. When we spoke again, she refused to even speak to me about him.
She says that they have a very special relationship that I would not understand. Her sisters know about this and said that I am the one who is wrong and it's normal for them to do this as they love each other because she has bought him up from the time he was 1 year old.
Q: Is it permissible to say out loud words of kufr and shirk when you are teaching someone to not say them? For example can you say "You should not say things like I am a Kaafir even jokingly" to someone to teach them? Or say "It is not right to say Merry Christmas"?
Q: I suffered a lot in my marriage since a few days after getting married and I am suffering till now. I am asking for divorce since then. This 9 years of marriage is a disaster. I couldn't sleep at night most of the times. He abused me a lot. He made me feel ugly most of my married life. He called me a loser, made me feel unwanted. He is too much attracted to other girls. He used to keep random girls pictures on his phone and many other incidents which I can not describe in few words. But I thought that asking for divorce is not the solution and I tried to mend it and subhanAllah many things actually got changed. But even after trying to mend this relationship, I don't think it is working.
I thought everything was fine but I think he likes a jealous wife, he tries to make me jealous by telling me about how he was attracted to a certain girl or how many hoors he is going to get etc.
Also he plays mind games which again I can not describe in few words. When he ignores me I become so paranoid and from past experiences I was ugly to him, I became doubtful and I was checking his phone in his presence and I found out he commented a girl "pretty". I don't know if he deleted other messages or not but my past experiences says that he did because he used to do that.
Him getting attracted to other women is not the only problem, he demeans me on such little things that I dont feel confident and even speaking to him is difficult. I feel very inferior. He barely listens to me when I am speaking to him. He makes fun even on serious matters such as -I told him once that my friend got raped and he made fun of that! He used to use dirty slangs for such little things and behave very badly. He is not concerned about my security. Maybe now he is changed in this security issue after telling him so many things. I don't know. He is too much into his beauty and very self obsessed like a girl and likes to show off a lot.
I became more practising in deen and this has also become a issue of course, our mentality differs more now. In respect of purdah I won't get any support from him. Even when I pray he becomes irritated that I am taking so much time and keeps telling me during my prayer. Even when I got upset after reading his comment "pretty " he is not as concerned, even after hearing this I am thinking of divorce.
Believe me there are so many other serious issues which I am not mentioning here. After so many years of mental torture now I have no will left in me to mend this relationship. No hope no expectations from this relationship. After having children it will be more difficult to leave him and I don't want to be in pain and give my loved ones pain also. Even though after all this I have affection for him left in me but I can not really continue and don't think I have that much sabr. I even tried to be normal with him in these few days but it seems impossible, even my faith in Allah is also becoming weak.I was always depressed but now I am also very tired.
I know you told me that women have no right to issue divorce but I don't think islam is so cruel that I will have to forcefully live in this situation and I think these are enough reasons to get seperated. I also have thoughts of taking my life, I have become that much hopeless. In this situation do you still think I should try? Is there really no exit to this?