Advice

Q: I want advices. Whenever I hear or read about hoors I became depressed. I read hadiths about their beauty, perfume, singing, skin colour etc. I'm dark and I had hurtful comments about this (it seemed that I had a trauma when I read about hoors the first time) and I suffer of hirsutism.

I grew up with the idea that a soul was united with her/his half. Not a soul united with several people. I believed in a monogamous marriage where a person desires ONLY one not others. Like a princess gets his prince, not that the princess had to share with others. I know that men desire women. I know that but I can't go through this. I don't know what to do, even hearing the words relating to hoors I became upset. It's difficult to read Qur'an and hadiths, somehow I became demotivated to continue when I read hoors and it's becoming difficult to continue. Whenever I come across the verses about them, it seems that I'm self-lesioning...

Every time, a youtube video about them comes in the homepage I say to myself that I shouldn't be upset and then end up watching it and being hurt again. Everytime.... Men seem to be joyous and joke about it, like they don't mind that this thing hurts others... I'm so broken down and depressed. It happens everytime, and everytime I feel I'm distancing from Allah. I'm scared...

But I am so tired... when reading about them. Everybody seems to joke. But I take it seriously. So please don't be harsh, because it's already difficult. Be compassionate in my regards please.

Q: I need some help. I'm 23 years of age and from a conservative Muslim minority. My problem started when I was younger and I was introduced to porn movies and masturbation. I need your advice.

Q: Suppose a man came and sat in the masjid. He had torn pants above the thigh. Another man saw him and was trying to correct him, suddenly he got the thought that if he is sure that awrah uncovred will be invalidating prayer? He could not get any hadith or ayah that time in his mind. He became uncertain. So should he correct or not?

Q: I am requesting advice on behalf of a friend?

She is a highly educated individual in her mid 30s. She has lived abroad, earns well and also financially assists extended family. However, she suffers from obsessive compulsive disorder and some traits of autism. Her dilemma is that she is keen to settle down and start a family. Kindly advise if in your opinion and from your knowledge of the deen, your wisdom and having most probably raised a family yourself whether she should consider marriage at all given her health condition or commit solely to her career and providing for her family, extended family and contributing to the community?

Q: My mother is cheating us by having physical relation with other man . And me and my younger brother caught this and we tried more than three times to forgive her and advice her and show her the right path. She used to do five time namaz every day from her childhood itself but she cannot control her temptation with this man and always they are making physical relation when they get a chance. I am always a silent boy but my brother can’t control his anger and today he punched her because after promising upon allah that she will not repeat it she is continuing the relation and my brother caught again their voice calls and it’s beyond the limit . Sir please give me some advice to how to handle this situation.. and is it allowed to beat mother in this situation..

Q: I am a woman who lost my baby girl when she was only 1 year and 7 months. It is very difficult for me to face her lost. Whenever I think of her I can't bear that pain but I always think that she will b under Allah's protection so I feel little happy but I want to know the correct position of her and what amal can I do to benefit her?

Q: I gave a birth to a child and my husband is abroad. I'm living in my mother's place. My husbands family are living in another place. I feel my mother's place is comfortable for me. My in laws never take care of me and they never helped me in anything. They used to always fight and tell me that they will tell my husband to divorce me. There are too much troubles. This is my first child birth and it is hard to do things alone so I'm staying in my mother's place. My mother helps me and she washes all the dirty cloths of mine and my child's. She take care of my child also and does all my things. Now I have bleeding also I feel I should stay in my mother's care. But my husband troubles me to stay with my in laws, so I explained the situation of my in laws but he don't want to listen to me. What should I do?

Q: I have been living with my father and step mother for the last 25 years and I have a step brother and step sister. I got married 3 years ago but my father somehow is not happy with my marraige. My father accused me of having sexual relations with my stepmother 2 years ago and then he apologised. Recently he again accused me of having illicit relations with my stepmother and he informed my in-laws also. What am I supposed to do now....where am I supposed to live?

Q: I married 2 years ago. Since my husband is working in a foreign country, we don't have children. Though he returns home he refuses to stay with me, and always be nervous about his job. If he wishes, he stays with me, and he refuses to fulfil my desires and feelings, but he wants children and sometimes hurts me for not having a baby for 2 years in front of others. All my family question me, what should I do? How can I have baby without him? Are there any duas to get my husband's love? And to have a baby quickly?

Q: I am 27 years old. I did my class 10 in 2008, likewise my class 12 in 2010 and my fraduation in enginerering in 2014. I did my 12 in Science Stream which was ordered by my father and uncle. I was then ordered to do my graduation which was also my father's decision. I left several jobs which was of my engineering field due to lack of interest. Now again I am in the same situation. My father has send me to out station for the same engineering job, which I am not interested in. I am fed up of my mind. I do not have a way out. I just want to stay my home town and work there of my choice. Will it be good? I dont want to live away from my family. Please suggest me some opinions. I am unable to take my decisions. I am pressurized by my uncle. I dont have a wealth love. I just want to stay my home town and earn my living.