Advice

Q: My husband’s mother is a Christian. She is a lesbian and lives with another woman and is not shy about their relationship. I don’t like this situation and don’t like going to visit especially with our children, however I know I cannot keep my husband away from his mother. My daughter is big and has questioned me on this relationship that she can see. I have advised her that this is wrong in every way possible and has reminded her of the story of Nabi Lut (alaihis salaam). Is it wrong of me not to want to visit or be seen in public with her? I don’t like being associated with her at all and this is difficult for my husband to understand because it is his mother. How can I make my husband understand because I feel very strongly about not being associated with her although I am because I am married to him. Can mufti give advice on this situation please.

Q: I am married to a gay man for 16 yrs. What should I do? I feel betrayed and confused. He is a good Chinese Muslim in my eyes but he just told me he that he has an urge for man but never intended to fufil it. I do not know what to do and why I'm tested like this.

Q: I'm 29 years old and I have a cousin that I'm proposing for and I want to marry her but I can't get married to her because she said that she is the one carriying out most of the household activities and she said that untill I build house first. I want to marry her so what must I do now?

Q:

1. My husband's family is having a huge family reunion with no separation of men and women for an entire weekend. Is it wrong of me not to accompany him? Is it ethical for him to attend? He sees nothing wrong in the idea. 

Q: Yesterday I saw a very bad accident on the highway. I was in a taxi and the accident happened behind us. The taxi driver did not stop. I called the rescue services and kept my phone in my hand. While my call was picked up, for a few seconds as I was probably thinking what to say. When I listened to the voice it was a recording saying that the number was busy and call later. Now I am not sure whether someone initially picked up my call and then cut it or it was recording all along. I asked my brother to call the rescue services but he said that the other taxi driver stopped where the accident happened. At that moment I kept quiet but when I got home I started regretting that I did not try to call the rescue services again and what if people nearby called late and that person may have died due to that. I don't even know what happened there afterwards and I feel extremely guilty. How do I prevent myself from feeling like that because I never reacted?

Q: I need some advice. I find my husband does not control his gaze and this really hurts my feelings. If there's a woman, no matter what nationality he HAS to give one quick look. I feel really hurt and hatred towards him. Please advice me what I can read etc at that moment so I can overcome the grief and be rewarded in my difficulty instead.

Q: I have a question and hope to receive the answer in the light of Quran and hadith at the earliest. I am the only son if my parents, my dad has a multiple alignment but my mother though in her late 60's is in good health alhamdulillah,in addition to this I am married and have two kids and one wife. Soon after marriage my wife and my mother could not accommodate each other well and I often had to listen to their complaints. I always thought my mother was less at fault. After few years of marriage I created two kitchens in the same house, in spite of this problems remained and in 2010 when things went out of control, I bought a separate accommodation for my family on the instructions of my parents to shift. Slowly things started to improve and till 2015 all was well. During this period have fulfilled all my duties towards my parents as well as wife. Then In 2015 my Dads health deteriorated and we shifted back to my parental house. It was not a force to my wife, instead she willingly agreed to go back but with a condition that she will not put up in a different kitchen. I was reluctant to her condition and wanted to have a different kitchen for my family in our parental home. At last I reluctantly agreed. My worst fear came true, again my mom and my wife went well with each other for a year no doubt with minor issues. But after some time things started happening again and one fine day my wife decided to go back to her house, even I agreed as I was fed up of all the nonsense my wife was attributing towards my mother. I could no longer take the behavior of my wife towards my mother. Soon I agreed to shift and left my potential home once again, leaving behind a hurt parents, sisters and all relatives. Everyone very angry towards my wife and her parents and my in-laws towards me and my parents blaming each other. I did not offend my parents for my wife and gave my wife a separate accommodation she wanted. Have I committed any sin by leaving my parents alone though I visit them every day even twice a day and ask them if I can do anything. I have arranged a full time servant for them as well. I live 4 km away from my parents. According to me I had no other option but to shift as I could not see my mother being dominated by my wife, as my wife wanted most of the things to happen as per her taste. My wife is a good lady as well follows Islam, had good intentions but her short temper is all that is not good in her. I am very tense please advice me what should I do to ease out my life as this issues has fully engulfed me and I has become difficult to concentrate on other issues like work etc. Thank you very much.

Q: I love a boy. I have prayed for him in my sujood. He has proposed to me. Now what should I do? Should I accept his proposal? Should I consider it as mercy of Allah? I have cried to get him in my sujood. But if I accept his proposal then my parents would get hurt. What should I do now? Accept his proposal or not?

Q: I want to ask a question on behalf my mum, who seeks to annul her marriage to my father. He refuses talaq, yet he does not support her and he lives in another town, he does not support me or my sister, but that is not the main issue, my mum is his second wife. His first wife passed away recently. He does not contact my mum but he does to come to 'visit', and he stays at his other sons house, and not by mum. For no apparent reason. My mum has supported us her entire life alone. She has never commited adultery or anything like that. She does require a divorce because he is neglecting his responsibilities to her. Please can you advise, or ask me for more clarity if you need to know anything more about this. Your assistance will help us a lot.

Q: I would please appreciate some advice on some issues I have been having with in laws. I am married for 6 years. Alhamdulillah my husband and I are happy. We have been blessed with 2 beautiful children. We live opposite my in laws. Allah has blessed us with a comfortable house perfect for us.

I have 2-sister in laws, one divorced with a child and one unmarried still living with my in laws. It seems ever since we moved in opposite, its been a big competition. From what I have in the house to the way I dress to everything I do. They feel the need to out do me and be better. I really did not let it bother me at first. It is not so much my mother in law and father In law but more so the 2 big daughters still living at home that seem to have a big influence on everyone and they try to turn everyone against me.

I noticed recently that my mother in law is begging me to despite me and I don't feel comfortable being around them. I was never able to work with my mother in law in the kitchen because of the 2 sisters still living there. They did not give me a chance and always worked against me and not with me. So I do everything in my home and my space. Almost as if they jealous of me. Which makes me sad. But I know Allah helps me get through. I don't talk to my husband about it as it just causes unnecessary problems.

I just wanted some advice or duas for me to be able to deal with this situation as it is stealing my peace of mind. Any other advice for me would be much appreciatted. What is the islamic view on this. The women is the queen of her home and everyday I just try the best I can. Also what is the duty of daughter in law in terms of Islam.