Advice

Q: I'm married to my husband for the past 12 years. He was married before and has a daughter from the first wife. Their marriage lasted 10 years with court case and everything and the court granted them divorce. The custody of the daughter went to the mother. After 3 months of divorce my husband got married to me. The first wife took the child and never ever allowed a glance of her daughter to my husband. Alhamdullilah, Allah has blessed us with three kids and we were very content with our life. My husband's daughter who is 21 years old now called her dad one day saying she wants to come live with us. My husband, without informing me or asking my consent brings her home over nite. The reason she has come over is because she is having an affair with some guy, whom the mother dislikes. The reason for writing this letter is, I can't accept her. I feel my privacy has been invaded. My husband is giving me less attention, there are fights between us now and I have gone into depression. The daughter is not in contact with the mother now. I just want to know did my husband do a right thing to bring her home without my consent and why can't I accept her wholeheartdly? Why do I feel jealous?

Q: My mother n father never had a strong bond, most of the time they are fighting alot. Although my mother is very aggressive and tends to yell alot, my dad is physically and mentally abusive. At the moment we suspect he is cheating on her. Anyhow my question to you is, will it happen to me after marriage too? Will I go through the same torture as my mother? As a lesson for my father for treating someone else's daughter badly?

Q: My sister is 5 years old and she is a normal girl. At night when she sleeps after reciting 3 qul's and aitalkursi she wakes up at 2 am and starts crying and she is repeatedly saying allah hu akbar bismillah al rahman al rahim and after 10 to 15 minutes she gets normal again and goes back to sleep being exhausted and once she gets up she don't remember what all happend. This is happening with her from past one month.

Q: My husband’s mother is a Christian. She is a lesbian and lives with another woman and is not shy about their relationship. I don’t like this situation and don’t like going to visit especially with our children, however I know I cannot keep my husband away from his mother. My daughter is big and has questioned me on this relationship that she can see. I have advised her that this is wrong in every way possible and has reminded her of the story of Nabi Lut (alaihis salaam). Is it wrong of me not to want to visit or be seen in public with her? I don’t like being associated with her at all and this is difficult for my husband to understand because it is his mother. How can I make my husband understand because I feel very strongly about not being associated with her although I am because I am married to him. Can mufti give advice on this situation please.

Q: I am married to a gay man for 16 yrs. What should I do? I feel betrayed and confused. He is a good Chinese Muslim in my eyes but he just told me he that he has an urge for man but never intended to fufil it. I do not know what to do and why I'm tested like this.

Q: I'm 29 years old and I have a cousin that I'm proposing for and I want to marry her but I can't get married to her because she said that she is the one carriying out most of the household activities and she said that untill I build house first. I want to marry her so what must I do now?

Q:

1. My husband's family is having a huge family reunion with no separation of men and women for an entire weekend. Is it wrong of me not to accompany him? Is it ethical for him to attend? He sees nothing wrong in the idea. 

Q: Yesterday I saw a very bad accident on the highway. I was in a taxi and the accident happened behind us. The taxi driver did not stop. I called the rescue services and kept my phone in my hand. While my call was picked up, for a few seconds as I was probably thinking what to say. When I listened to the voice it was a recording saying that the number was busy and call later. Now I am not sure whether someone initially picked up my call and then cut it or it was recording all along. I asked my brother to call the rescue services but he said that the other taxi driver stopped where the accident happened. At that moment I kept quiet but when I got home I started regretting that I did not try to call the rescue services again and what if people nearby called late and that person may have died due to that. I don't even know what happened there afterwards and I feel extremely guilty. How do I prevent myself from feeling like that because I never reacted?

Q: I need some advice. I find my husband does not control his gaze and this really hurts my feelings. If there's a woman, no matter what nationality he HAS to give one quick look. I feel really hurt and hatred towards him. Please advice me what I can read etc at that moment so I can overcome the grief and be rewarded in my difficulty instead.

Q: I have a question and hope to receive the answer in the light of Quran and hadith at the earliest. I am the only son if my parents, my dad has a multiple alignment but my mother though in her late 60's is in good health alhamdulillah,in addition to this I am married and have two kids and one wife. Soon after marriage my wife and my mother could not accommodate each other well and I often had to listen to their complaints. I always thought my mother was less at fault. After few years of marriage I created two kitchens in the same house, in spite of this problems remained and in 2010 when things went out of control, I bought a separate accommodation for my family on the instructions of my parents to shift. Slowly things started to improve and till 2015 all was well. During this period have fulfilled all my duties towards my parents as well as wife. Then In 2015 my Dads health deteriorated and we shifted back to my parental house. It was not a force to my wife, instead she willingly agreed to go back but with a condition that she will not put up in a different kitchen. I was reluctant to her condition and wanted to have a different kitchen for my family in our parental home. At last I reluctantly agreed. My worst fear came true, again my mom and my wife went well with each other for a year no doubt with minor issues. But after some time things started happening again and one fine day my wife decided to go back to her house, even I agreed as I was fed up of all the nonsense my wife was attributing towards my mother. I could no longer take the behavior of my wife towards my mother. Soon I agreed to shift and left my potential home once again, leaving behind a hurt parents, sisters and all relatives. Everyone very angry towards my wife and her parents and my in-laws towards me and my parents blaming each other. I did not offend my parents for my wife and gave my wife a separate accommodation she wanted. Have I committed any sin by leaving my parents alone though I visit them every day even twice a day and ask them if I can do anything. I have arranged a full time servant for them as well. I live 4 km away from my parents. According to me I had no other option but to shift as I could not see my mother being dominated by my wife, as my wife wanted most of the things to happen as per her taste. My wife is a good lady as well follows Islam, had good intentions but her short temper is all that is not good in her. I am very tense please advice me what should I do to ease out my life as this issues has fully engulfed me and I has become difficult to concentrate on other issues like work etc. Thank you very much.