Advice

Marital problems

Q: I have told my husband a few times that I want a Talaq due to the following reason. We married for 18 years

1. He has never gave me nafaqah

2. He is always rude to me

3. He is disrespectful towards me

4. He does not contribute to the childrens health and clothes needs.

5. He is always asking me for money and never paying it back.

6. He never considers that by not paying me back that whatever debts I may have incurred cannot be covered when he does not pay me back.

7. He has not been intimate with me for 4 years and even then it was only twice a year.

8. He has nothing left over for me never gets me anything for my birthday for the whole 18 years that we are married.

9. He never stands up for me against his family when there was ever an issue.

10. He comes from a wealthy family and they know he does not provide for me or his kids.

11. My kids are studying hifz and he will never sit with them /relieve me sometimes to test them.

He has just asked me for money again this month and I told him No. He got upset to which I said that I was going to resign and stay at home so that he cant ask me for money anymore. He then said he wants a Talaq. So I told him it just proves that he would not talaq me before because he needed me for my money. Now that I will not have money should I resign I will be of no use to him and he cannot take responsibilty for a wife and children.

He has so many debts . I cannot understand what he does with his money that he earns as he is a plumbing contractor. Our rent is even behind.

I need some advise going forward as I feel the talaq is the best thing for me and my children

Asking husband for a divorce

Q: Im separated with my husband for nine months now. Due to the emotional problems I went through with my mother in law and my husband hasn't supported me in that and even whilst separated, I've tried through three moulaanas to make it work but there has been no improvement or any sort of support either. I've had many emotional breakdowns but now I finally want a talaq. Please help me as I can't keep going on like this.

Fear of marriage due to being sexually weak

Q: Due to excessive masturbation since my childhood, i have become very weak sexually. Now my family wants me to get married. I also want to get married but I try to run from it because of my sexual weakness. I do not want to be embarassed in front of my wife. Please tell what should I do. Also, I also feel shy when I think of having sex with my wife. I try a lot to stop masturbation but I cannot.

Marital issues

Q: I am a homemaker in a joint family. From beginning of my marriage there was always a problem in both of my families because of money and property that should be given to me by my parents to in laws. I am a pregnant woman in my final trimester. I am facing a lot of stress from my house people and husband. My husband told me that you should decide between me and your family. I am in the worst situation of my life. I don't want to leave both of them. I want everyone in my family, my own family, my in laws family and my husband. Please suggest me a solution to this problem

Marital problems

Q: I'm married to my husband for the past 12 years. He was married before and has a daughter from the first wife. Their marriage lasted 10 years with court case and everything and the court granted them divorce. The custody of the daughter went to the mother. After 3 months of divorce my husband got married to me. The first wife took the child and never ever allowed a glance of her daughter to my husband. Alhamdullilah, Allah has blessed us with three kids and we were very content with our life. My husband's daughter who is 21 years old now called her dad one day saying she wants to come live with us. My husband, without informing me or asking my consent brings her home over nite. The reason she has come over is because she is having an affair with some guy, whom the mother dislikes. The reason for writing this letter is, I can't accept her. I feel my privacy has been invaded. My husband is giving me less attention, there are fights between us now and I have gone into depression. The daughter is not in contact with the mother now. I just want to know did my husband do a right thing to bring her home without my consent and why can't I accept her wholeheartdly? Why do I feel jealous?

Fearing that parents fighting might affect one's marriage

Q: My mother n father never had a strong bond, most of the time they are fighting alot. Although my mother is very aggressive and tends to yell alot, my dad is physically and mentally abusive. At the moment we suspect he is cheating on her. Anyhow my question to you is, will it happen to me after marriage too? Will I go through the same torture as my mother? As a lesson for my father for treating someone else's daughter badly?

Waking up crying at night

Q: My sister is 5 years old and she is a normal girl. At night when she sleeps after reciting 3 qul's and aitalkursi she wakes up at 2 am and starts crying and she is repeatedly saying allah hu akbar bismillah al rahman al rahim and after 10 to 15 minutes she gets normal again and goes back to sleep being exhausted and once she gets up she don't remember what all happend. This is happening with her from past one month.