Advice

Q: I'm in a very tough situation which involves a​ second wife. A bit more tham two years ago my first wife went to the UK to give birth to our 3rd child. Alhamdulillah my first daughter was born. After that she had to stay in the UK since her family had decided to buy a house and she took a while to come back home to Kenya. I married a second wife which I told her about after four months when she came for a short period in Kenya. It was a though moment but I managed to calm her down until the news spread to our families. She is the daughter of my mum's brother. To cut the story short I am now being forced to divorce my second wife by both our family members and herself. She has also asked for a divorce now and I am being told I will not be allowed to see my children. I have never ever stopped taking care of her and the kids. I am now in another country pursuing further studies in orthopedics. My question is, are my parents right to force me to divorce my second wife? Even though I love both my wives and do not wish to do so. I told them I will not divorce any one of my wives but now they are saying I will be cursed and my life will be nothing but a disaster without parents' blessings. Please advise on the options I have as I believe divorcing without her being at any fault just to save my family's face will be like zulm amd probably lead to a bigger calamity in my family. I love my parents like any other human being but my mother's and father's tears are clouding my judgement for now.

Q: When I think about the Day of Judgment I get very scared. Can you tell me the things I should do to enter Jannah and what good deeds should I do.

Q: For the past couple of days, I have been going out of my mind. I feel that my death is near. I have bad anxiety and panic attacks thinking about my death. I constantly feel like my death is today or tomorrow. And each day I think it’s my last. I can’t eat, sleep or even look after my child. My heart is throbbing and I am constantly crying.

Is this a sign and a way for me to get closer to Allah properly? Or are these actuall signs that I will die today or tomorrow or soon!

I also understand that death should be a reminder for me to do good but it shouldn’t make me go crazy right?

Q: I'm a 20 year old boy. I struggle very much with depression and anxiety. I do not feel that I can manage anything in my life. I do poorly at school and struggle socially. I pray everyday and make dua but do not feel happiness or peace, and it has made me feel hopeless. It would be a great help if you could give me  some tips.

Q: If a husband is cruel to his wife and kids, what should the wife do, ask for a divorce or just be patient? Which option is better for the Aakhirah?

Q: Is beating children in madrasah and always scaring them of hell allowed in Islam?

Q: I met a boy and we have been chatting for around 8 months now. He wants me to marry him. He spoke to my parents without consulting his own as we are young and still schooling. We want to do it the correct way and make things halaal. Are we still allowed to get maaried without the permission of his father and if not, how should we go about speaking to his father as he is really scared to?

Q: A girl has seen proposals and the boys never called back and she feels rather despondent and depressed. Is there anything she could do or read?

Q: I'm having major surgery in a few weeks and wanted to find out if I can tell the doctors not to let me suffer or become a burden to them if things are not going well. Can I tell them not to resuscitate me more than thrice?

Q: Before my husband and I made nikaah, we discussed financial issues like whether I would need to work, if we would be a 2 income household, the rental and expenses we would need to pay, etc. He told me confidently that I can work if I wanted to although not necessary. (I work for my father in a secluded office) and that he would give me money for the household expenses such as fuel, groceries, etc. He also told me that we would be living in a flat that his parents owned and that there would be no need to pay rental.

A week before the nikaah, his parents had told him that the flat did not belong to them and that we must move into a flat and pay a ridiculous amount of rental for it in a complex that they also live in. My parents in law are very well off alhumdulillah, my husband has 2 sisters, both of which are married and both of which dont pay any rental and in fact live in luxury homes provided by his parents. Their families live off from my father in law. I am not comparing myself to them because I feel that we both need to work hard for what we earn. 

Recently I fell pregnant. I had to cut down on my job owing to complications. There was a rental increase and therefore I get no money from my husband to cover household expenses. We decided to speak to my parents in law regarding this and they forbade us from moving away into a cheaper rental flat as they hinted at the fact that we are ungrateful (even though we dont take money from them) and that it is my husbands duty to look after them.

I will never question our duty to our parents, no amount of what we do will ever be enough for them. However, does duty only fall upon the son or is it all the siblings responsibility? Do we have the right to move out as it is hurting our relationship by creating a conflict between us as husband and wife? Please keep in mind that his mother asks our front guard when I enter and leave my house, her maid sometimes enters my house when I'm not there, she stores all her unwanted goods in my garage and doesn't treat me very well and sometimes has nasty things to say to me and this makes me very bitter towards my husband as well. What can I do moving forward?