Rights of servants

Q: A person has a cat. He and his family love the cat. But the person’s father does not like him to keep the cat and he says to the person that he should not keep the cat. But the person and his family are so attached to the cat. They do not want to give the cat to anyone. The thought of staying without the cat makes them cry. So can the person keep the cat? If the person does not listen to his father’s advice because listening to his father’s this advice will emotionally hurt his family a lot, then is he sinning?

Q: My wife's father demands from her to massage him and bath him while he is just wearing bermuda type shorts. He ignores her condition or tiredness. I want to know if it is allowed for him to demand this service from her? Am I justified forbidding her to do so? He lives in another city and keeps on insisting for her to come there, totally ignorant of the fact that she has a job and kids to look after. Now he is demanding to move in with her just for the reason that she may serve him like that. He has a wife who is my wife's step mother. I do not like her massaging or bathing him in his semi nude condition, but my wife said that its a culture of their country.

Q: In which condition we can disobey our parents? 

Q: How does one deal with ones mother who has chosen to marry for the 4th time?

Being married, my husband and myself are constantly fighting because he is disgraced that my mother has taken another husband (the man is a sheikh). My husband worries that because my mother has not received blessing from her children or her mother, therefore she is doomed to fail in her marriage. Is it correct to feel anger towards ones mother and is it correct of my husband to show any disrespect to her if he does not agree with her choice? I feel as if I have to choose between my husband and my mother?

Q: Do daughters have any obligation in taking care of their parents physically and or financially after they get married and start staying with their husbands? Particularly in the case if the son is poor and can hardly manage and if the daughters are financially well off and living an extravagant lifestyle.

Q: I have a care taker working for me in my home helping me to look after my old mother. Recently she told me that legally she is unable to work in this country. I was unaware of this and I am worried for my mother as she needs the care. Should I end the care takers employment or can I give her a gift rather than wages and keep her on? My two brothers are paying me for the care taker and they said that they are responsible for her payment. If I can give her a gift then how do I calculate the amount I pay her?

Q: I have an issue which is causing me a lot of distress and sadness. I recently have got in touch with my biological father who I have not known for 25 years because my step father has been trying to stop me from finding out about my real dad. Now I speak to my father regularly on the phone as he lives abroad. However my step mother tells my real dad to cut the calls of early, she tries to keep him away from me and does not want me to have a relationship with. As she does not have any of her own children and is feeling insecure. I do understand this but I feel stressed because I feel she is going to take my dad away from me. I have voiced my concerns to my dad but he has assurred me that she is not going to be a problem. She even told me 4 times to not focus on my dad and that I should focus on my stepfather. I just dont know what to do and I feel my emotions get the better of me. I try to make an effort with her but she wants to keep my dad away. My step father does not want anything to do with me if I see my real dad. I'm confused why should I have to satisfy my step parents. I want a relationship with my dad. Am I not allowed that. How do I deal with this? I just want to get to know my dad without them causing problems.

Q: I am a 32 year old unmarried Muslim girl living with my parents. My mother recently told me that my father wants to adopt a son so that there is someone to look after him when he gets old. She says that they think if I ever get married my husband wont allow me to look after them in their old age.

This comment really hurt me because I try very hard to be a good and dutifull daughter and I do my best to help them with their work as much as possible. I have been crying ever since I heard this and I cant stop crying - I cant help the fact that I am not a boy and my father would have preferred a son.

My question is, will there be any reckoning in the hereafter for my parents making such comments? I know that Islam emphasises the importance of parents but what does it say about how parents should act towards their children, even if they are daughters? Will Allah ever question them for saying such things?

Q: According to my mum in law, she says that she does not have to keep the family together, meaning the daughter in laws. As long as her 4 sons talk to each other it is fine. Are the daughter in laws not part of the family?

Q: I am passing through a bad phase in life. My mother shows favoratisam between her children. She always hates so in return I disobey her. She prefers my brothers, what should I do in these circumstances? I want to commit suicide. She looks down upon me and teases me. I am an aalima and 25 years old. I feel a block on my heart when I disobey her but what can I do? Am I a sinner? How can I obey her?