Women's Issues

Girls living in a hostel

Q: I am an engineering student and I am currently living in the hostel. All was going well till my roommate offered prayer. Her method of offering salah was different but I did not pay much attention to this because in college, I am friends with a shia girl whose method is also differed from mine. I do not discuss this with anyone but I was told by another hostelmate that she is a "aga kahani". This made me furious. After that day I stopped using her things but I never stopped sharing mine with her. Now the problem is that we hostelmates make tea together and she is also included in our group of friends. We do not want to make her feel miserable but I asked her not to make tea for me twice.

Now, the question is that how should I behave with her as we have to share one room and I have to live with her for a long period of time.

Also, we use to eat our lunch and dinner in the same plate, is this appropiate? 

Irregular haidh

Q: I’ve been having irregular periods ever since the first time I got it, 3 years ago. I get the brown spottings/discharge which I am told is considered as my period. Recently I got my period regularly for two months in a row. Till last month which I did not get it at all. I then got the spottings at the end of October and beginning of November and considered that my period. After those 10 days were over, I got my actual blood period 8 days later last Saturday.

My question is which one is considered my period? And do I not pray my salah for this period and make Qadha for all the missed ones last time or consider this as haiz and pray my Salah’s while I’m on my blood period right now? 

Women working

Q: I am an engineer. My salary is an amount that I can just afford to take care of my family. I will not really be saving anything. However, my wife is a dentist, she did not start her practice yet. She just passed her exam a month ago. I permit her to see female patients by opening a surgery. But she wants to be a BCS cadre. This is the highest prestigious govt. job in our country for practicing in a govt. hospital. That means, she is not only interested in the money but also social dignity. If she becomes a dentist in a govt. hospital, she will have to face males nurses and male patients also. If she can avoid male patients, she will still need to talk to other male doctors as well as her colleagues. She will also need to talk about some unnecessary aspects e.g. can she say to her colleague, hello Mr. X, how are you and your family? This is not directly related to her profession but she has to do this. Please note that she wears the purdah but she is very keen to do that job. I am not interested in her doing the job due to the reason I mentioned above, but she forces me again and again. If it is permissible then I will permit her and save my mental peace.

Women working

Q: I have been through some difficult times during my current employment at my current company. I am 27 years of age and recently divorced. There has been 1 recent incident that an outsider has been harassing my family with false accusations against myself and my manager. It was found to be untrue where my employer has resolved the issues.

With this being said, my family feels that I should leave the company and start fresh. They would like me to leave even if it means I need to earn much less and step down to a lower role. This will affect my career growth. I would like to stay at my company due to the fact that I am doing well and succeeding. I do want to study further and my parents support that. The only concern I have is that they want me to leave my job and have a perception of my manager that is untrue.

My manager is willing to meet with them to try and keep me at my job and show them that I am growing and doing well and will be giving up shares included.

My uncle was called in and he does not agree with my family giving my ultimatums where I need to choose either them or my work. And if I want to stay where I am working then they will call in the rest of my family and let them know of all mistakes/sins I have done since a young child, and ask the entire family not to accept me as I will be thrown out of the house.

I have repented for my sins and I have changed my way of life completely. The person who has harassed my family has made them worry for their daughter and I have told them that everything is untrue. Even my company has told them this. But still I am being forced to leave my job and find work elsewhere even if it affects my career.

My father says that as my wakeel, he can command me to quit my job.

I am turning to you for guidance as a Muslim sister and daughter to my loving parents. I know they mean well but I am unsure of what to do.

Yes, I agree that I have sinned in the past, and I have turned my life around completely. I do not want to leave my current workplace and I am feeling alot of pressure and unfairness. What do I do? How do I convince my parents when they have asked me to leave so that their hearts can feel better.

I have not done anything I was accused of and now my last option is to turn to you for guidance. It saddens me that I have been given ultimatums and that my family will only move on from this unfortunate event, if I give up my job and work elsewhere.

Please guide me on what to do.