Q: Mere husband aaj kal bahot pareshan rehte hai karobar k silsile me. Wo meri har baat ko ignor krte hai. Actually wo gulf me rehte hai. Jab bhi me kehti hu mujhe apne sath rakho chahe wo gulf me ho ya apne desh wo is baat per mujhse jhagadte hai. Humesha choti choti baat per ladte rehte hai. Please mujhe kuch aisi Quraani dua de jisse Allah kare humari mohabbat mazboot ho aur ladna chod ker mujhe humesha unke saath rakhe.
Q: I tied knot in 2011 and my rukhsati was in the same year. It's been four years since my marriage now and I'm in the same box for years. My mother-in-law started disliking me the day I got married in short neither she nor anyone in my husband's family was in the favour of this marriage. The real problem started just after a week when she start making wrong assumptions about me and spread false information about me around the neighbours and relatives(I never met). My mother in law was unjust toward me and portrayed a image of evil daughter in law. I felt strange and bad at the same time, I wasn't sure of what's going on till I asked her directly that " was she in the favour of this marriage?" Her answer was plain no. Let me add this that my rukhsati was held in Islamabad from where I'm and it was a simple function in which none of my husband's family attended except his mother because my mother insisted my mother in law. My mother in law before rukhsati said to send her along my husband which my mother didn't approve. And during the function she introduced the girl she chose for my husband by saying "she is the girl I chose for my son". She also have stated some mean things about my mother and my siblings. She created a lot of problems in the house by calling my husband and saying inappropriate things to him. My husband psychologically was tired and not stable when he decided to move out. And after four years none of my husband's family member is in touch with me they still say bad things about me for eg his sister said I'm not a good girl, his brother tried to create problem between us by saying she is trying to distance you from them and always say negative things about me to which my husband believed. This is just one problem and the other was y relation with my husband during the time when my in laws were doing all this, my husband told me that he is having a problem of ED, we still have not developed a relation of husband and wife due to his problem and his lack of interest( I can say). For past four years, my husband had consulted four doctors only. Whenever I talk to him about it he gets frustrated and I can't make him feel him bad so I choose my words wisely. Though he hadn't done anything about it and I don't know how long this will continue. I told my mom about this and she advised me to come back home and I never left my husband with a believe that we can solve this and things will work out and I was wrong. My husband fulfils other duties and provide me with things but there is always something missing. After my marriage he was also in a favour of adoption. I stress a lot about our problem and my husband doesn't seem to care. It's just not the problem it's more of our relation. He don't think about us. He stress over his duty towards his parents and he fears that he will be held accountable for them only. He believes moving out of his parents house means he abandoned them. Though he asked his parents to move in with us on which his mother said "I can't live with your wife". Recently, he got a job opportunity from abroad and he declined by saying he can't go out till his parents are alive and he psychologically is in peace because of them (his parents). He don't think about us or our problem, he seems to not care. He takes me for granted and I know this now. I don't know what my purpose is in my husband's life. I feel depress and not wanted at times. I know I have every right to ask for divorce.. I'm too weak for that as I loved this man and expects a lot from him but I get dishearten every time. I have seek Allah's help and prayed for things to get better but I'm still standing there. I'm not happy anymore. I'm in depression. I have written everything about my marriage life and things going on and how I feel. There is nothing I have exaggerated or added anything of my own. I just need some help to pull myself from this.
Q: I am a Pakistani girl living in Bahrain. I got married in April and came back to Bahrain. I am waiting for rukhsati but since I came back I have faced a lot of troubles regarding my wedding. My sisters some times ask to finish this nikaah and more than that my brother wants to finish it off and they don't have any reason. I am very tensed everyday. Only these things go on in my mind, but about one to two weeks ago I saw a dream that I was in a bridal dress and was waiting for baraat but the baraat didn't arrive. In the dream I called my husband, he said I am coming but he didn't come. In another dream on the same night I saw a dream that again I was the bride and waiting for baraat but it didn't arrive. Then again last night I saw that there was a small wedding in the house and this time my husband was also there with me and it was our wedding and suddenly he got to some where and again I tried on calling him, he said coming coming but didn't come. All 3 dreams were same that the ending didn't take place. Please tell me what does it mean?
Q: What is the responsibility of a Muslim man towards supporting his kids and wife and supporting his parents? I have been working since I got married assisting my husband support our children as his money went towards supporting his parents putting his sister through school etc. At times he did not have a job and he used my money. We do not have our own house and live with his parents to look after them since he is the only son. We do not even go away on holiday without taking his parents and married sister along. However I recently found out that his mother decided that if she dies the house will go to my husband but if he dies before her, she will give the house to his married sister who has not even taken her parents to a restaurant or a holiday. She eats for free by us on weekends and holidays but buys takeaways quietly for herself and her husband. Is this justice? What then will become of me and my kids who are still young eldest 12? Why is it my responsibility to provide for our kids? Where in Islam does it say that he is forced to live and support his parents and that I should live under his mother's rules.
Q: I would like to ask you is there a verse in the Quraan that states about privacy for example knocking as one's residence and they refuse to let you in. I know she is allowed to visit her mother and visa versa. Also what if she is defiant and has her family over all the time because it is a matter of privacy. Am I right? And he has a right to reject them no? And also is it permissible for a woman's mother to stay at her residence because according to my understanding she (mother) only has rights at her nephew's residence or her brother and it is also the responsibility of her husband. Please elaborate further.
Q: I got your reply today and I got very happy by reading your reply. Jazakallah khair. My husband is a very nice person. My in-laws are also very nice and supportive but the thing is that my husband is a very short tempered person and I am a very patient and sober kind of girl. So sometimes he hurts me so much by his behaviour. You wrote in your reply that my istihkara dream indicates that my relation with my husband and in-laws is improving.. So please tell me what should I need to do to handle his rude kind of behaviour? I love and respect him and my in-laws and I want to be the best wife for him and the best daughter for my in-laws. Allah has given me approval for this relation by showing me the positive response in my dream. I trust Allah a lot and I respect his decision by saving my relationship with my husband and in-laws and that is the reason I always try to handle things patiently. Waiting for your reply. Allah bless you.
Q: I am writing to you with the deep hope to solve a problem that is affecting my life. I married a man from Saudi Arabia, a man I really loved with all my heart. Sadly we had problems because basically our views to see marriage life was very different but in spite of that I never thought to divorce from him. We had a silly argument but after that he chose to divorce. He didn't tell me "talaq" directly but he told me clearly he didn't wish to continue his life with me and that night he asked me to prepare my bags and leave. I didn't and I was hoping with days he could change his mind. After three/four days he told me again about his willing to divorce and that it was the best thing because we didn't match and he wished a new life with another woman more similar to his needs. The same night we had another argument and he talked to me again about his wish to divorce. He bought the tickets for the flight and he forced me to prepare my bags. I didn't want to leave, first because I loved him and his kids and also it was night and it was Ramadhaan. So I asked a friend to come and pick me up to go to the airport. I want to be clear saying it has been one of the worst nights of my life. He has been very cruel and unpolite. Before going away I said to him to tell me"talaaq" so we could be divorced, because his intentions were clear, and I didn't want to come back with a no clear situation. Also, I reverted to Islam few months before that and it wasn't very clear for me the talaq matter. After that my ex-husband didn't finish paying my mahr yet because he say that I "asked" the divorce ,also he asked me back the marriage ring. I want to understand if is true he doesn't have to pay my mahr and if he can ask the ring back. The payment of mahr wasn't in case of divorce. He was supposed to pay it soon after marriage but he didn't. I need an honest advice.
Q: I have been married for couple of years now and ever since my marriage my husband keeps talking bad about my family and how he did not get anything as dowry from my family. I have stayed with him for 1 year after marriage since he is unable to provide me visa in order to stay together. His job is not giving him visa so he buys business visa for himself and the only reason he is sticking to his job is because it's easy where he does not have to work. The one year I stayed was when I found a job on my own. I want to your advise please since am not sure what to do. My husband does not make any effort in keeping us together, does not like my family, takes help from them but talks bad behind, he uses bad language with me, tells me I am not fit to be a wife, does not like the food I prepare, and asks me to stay in his father's house since I am married to that house. He married me thinking my family is from US and thought he will get everything and it is not necessary to work. Now I have a baby as well and he does not show any interest in keeping us together. All the time he cries about how he has no money and has to send to his family and how we have become an expense on him. I keep thinking why am I with such a person who does not like any of my qualities. I want to divorce him but worried about my child. Please advise is this the right ground to take a divorce or should I keep trying.
Q: I am very confused about my isthikhara dream. Few months before I did isthikhara for my married life as things were not going right. When I did isthikhara I dreamt on the same night. Alhamdullilah I saw a beautiful dream. I saw my mother in-law wearing green colour of apron and I saw fresh green grass, green spinach and white garlic. I did ishtikhara for my whole family but I only saw my mother in-law there. The rest I saw green colour everywhere and I didn't see any other family member, what does that mean? I saw only my mother in-law and the rest green colours? My family includes me my husband, my father in-law and mother in-law. When I did isthikhara, it was at my mother's home. Then things went good and my husband came and with him I came back to my home. I mean my husband's home.
Q: Kindly explain the rules of a woman asking for a divorce.