Marital Issues

Q: A boy married a older girl without the consent of his parents in the presence of two male witnesses. Now if he wishes to tell his parents about it and they ask him to divorce the girl, will that be correct? Just because they against him marrying someone older and a few people in the family have spoken ill of the girl thus making his parents believe she isn't a good girl. Does he have to follow his parents and divorce the girl or should he remain married?

Q: My question is that my husband always argues with me. When he's with me, he gets gets angry for no reason. He doesn't like spending time with me. Please provide me any wazifa for our solution and good life.

Q: I don't know if you will read my message but I pray that you can help solve my problem. I had a very tough life with my ex-husband and in-laws but I never thought of breaking my marriage because of my kids. I knew that if I moved out we all will suffer. My parents knew everything and they used to tell me that I just leave him and they will keep us and provide for us. They used to force me a lot but deep down my heart I felt like not leaving becuase I was scared to stay at my parents with kids (there comes a point in life where parents can't take the kids of the daughter). Life went on. My hubby used to beat me and do all the nasty things with me. When one day our neighbour came to talk to him that brother it's not nice of you beating your wife in public. Do what you want to do inside the house, respect your wife. My husband immediately jumped on me and said that why is this man favouring you. Seems like you have some relation with him. He forced me to sign on a paper that my neighbour tried to rape me. I was refusing and he planned everything and took me to the police station and made me sign on that. My father came to know that and he came and took me there by force and told me you don't need to make up your marriage with someone who doesn't care about your chastity. I was somehow relieved and thanked Allah Ta'ala removed me from there. I was with my kids at my parents, it was all ok. I got the khula after two years. The problem here is that my mother can't stand my kids. She shouts them for nothing. If I will talk to her she quarrels with me so badly and whatever I do, she won't talk to me for days. This was the thing I was scared of. I knew my mother, she was always super strict with us too. I can't be and I don't want to be that way with my kids because I know of all the damages it has caused to me. It's like I am in trauma with all the strictness they were doing on us since we were little and my marriage to my ex was for this reason only that I wanted an escape from this. I don't want my kids to suffer the same. Alhamdulillah I am raising them Islamically but I can't be on them 24/7 not to let them even play outside. Sometimes I feel like it's the end now. When I got a proposal from a man who was accepting me and my kids with Al conditions accepted, my parents said no, as this will bring shame on them in the community. Yes I want to get married, I need a husband. I've told them clearly that I need a husband and I want to save my Imaan and I don't want to do anything which will bring harm to my Imaan, but what they said is make sabar. Please suggest me a way out of this.

Q: I know that Islam gives most priority to the mother. If my father is a bad guy and continuously does very rough behaviour with my mother, then what can I do? If I also am rough to my father for the sake of my beloved mother to protect her, then will it be a sin? What can I do? My father tortures my mother both mentally and physicaly. I have attempted a lot to make my father good, but still he is a bad one. Please tell me, in this case if I hate my father and do rough behaviour when he scolds my mother for nothing, then will it be a sin?

Q: I have a question regarding some issues with my husband which I have raised with him but which he fails to address. For starters my husband D has had no intimate attraction towards me since marriage, he is capable of going through at least 2 weeks on end with no worry, he claims he is not like other men who only want women for one thing, yet I feel so unattractive as he always admires other women but barely complements me unless I'm upset. Secondly he never speaks to me about his day or confides in me he only speaks to his mother, he will lie in bed or sit with me and sms her and when we visit her he will start talking non stop to her. If I ask him why he does this he says I must find out one time when he is telling her I can hear or sometimes he says I was talking so he couldn't tell me, but what about all they sms each other. I have started being quiet as I am talkative to see if it makes a difference, but all he does is play on his phone and go to sleep not talk to me. I long to see him, I look forward to meeting him, knowing how his day has been and in the end it's an effort for him to interact with me. We have only been married 2 years and now have a child but this marriage is really unfulfilling and depressing. He always does what his mother wants, never asks me what I want, if I have plans or anything as such it's like I don't exist. Please don't get me wrong, I have no problem with him doing for his mother but what are my rights and options, am I meant to go on miserably like this? Please advise.

Q: I am recently finding myself getting further away from Allah. One year ago I was going through some difficulties and I must admit though at the time it was not a good time for me, it was also the best as I was the closest to Allah I have ever been. Once Allah accepted my Duas and things settled for me and my life has been at ease, I find myself going back to some old habits and even though I am reading my five Salaah and Nafl salaah, I am feeling very distant from Allah. I also find myself very discontent with what I have been blessed with. These were the things I prayed for and made sabr for, but now that I have it I want more. I want more materialistically. This is causing tension between my husband and I. I know it is wrong. I have so much to be thankful for yet I want more and more. I keep asking Allah to make my heart content with all these blessings. I feel bad because only when I really need something do I spend more time on the musallah. The distance from Allah got worse when I started working. I was too tired to read Quran and found myself being too tired to wake up for Tahajjud. I left my job due to other reasons. Alhamdulilah I dont have to work as it is not about money but more so that I dont feel like a sit at home housewife. I also find myself comparing myself to others lifestyles and feel that since this and that person are working then I need to be working too. When I am working I want to be at home, when I am home I want to work. My hear really is so restless in all these things. When I am home all I do is watch TV. I tried getting into the local taleem classes but no one is interested. What adds to it is that I am living overseas away from my family so I get bored and my husband does not want to have children now despite being married for 5 years as he says he wants to travel more. I really want to have kids. Please can you give me a dua to read for contentment of the heart and to help soften my husbands feelings and thoughts on having kids.

Q: I would like to know is the nikaah valid if the couples are not willing by heart? Especially the bride? If they just accept the nikaah because of family pressure. 

Q: I got my nikaah done six months ago. Rukhsati was due on my visa procedures as my husband is living in US. Everything was all good but after few months of our marriage my in laws seems to be wanting to end this relation there reason is they have bad feelings they feel I am not right for my husband and they want us to separate. My husband, me and my family don't want to end this marriage. My husband is confused to choose what's best. He wants this marriage to workout. He has been trying to convince his parents and they don't seem to change their minds although not giving a proper reason they just say its their bad feelings. Both the parents and me and my husband did isthkhara before nikkah and we were positive about it. I don't know why is this happening what is right thing to do here?

Q: A cousin of mines would like to know about the following circumstances. She stays with her in-laws. Cooks twice a week for the family and helps out when she can. Once a week she visits her parents for a few hours. This is according to her husband's wishes and also keeps her parents happy. However her in-law's especially her mother in-law does not like this. She complains to my cousin of shirking her responsibility but she will never say anything in front of my cousin's husband. Is this true? What exactly is her responsibility to her husband and her parents? Or to his? What will Allah Ta'ala hold her accountable for?

Q: I have been married for 4 years. I have been separated from my husband staying with my parent for 2 years. He does not nafaqah me. We spent more time apart than together. I have no trust in him, I don't believe him. Our gap has grown so much bigger between us. Whenever we speak about things trying to make changes, but it never happens. We are still fighting. I'm unhappy miserable and lonely.