Marital problems

Q: I am in so difficult situation. I got love married. My parents did not agree. I did my nikah secretly then revealed it afterwards to my parents. They were so good that they forgave me and got us married properly. I went to my husband's home. They were joint family. My mother in law was my aunty, means elder sister of my mother. All brother and sister in laws were younger than me. I worked there all the time. In morning, in the evening. Work of the in laws. Pressed their clothes, did their washing, cooking, sweeping. Every single task of their household work. But my husband always said that you did not do anything. Get up and do every work of the home. You always laid down on the bed. I was hurt. I know it was not my responsibility to serve every one there except my husband. But I did only for the sake of Allah and my husband. But my husband remained unhappy with me. Whenevr I asked him for outing or go outside for refreshment he denied. After all he mistrusted me, critisized me always. He forbade me even to meet my mother and sister. He forbade me to attend my sisters wedding. Now my son is going to be one year. One week before I had a fight again with my husbnd that why dont you give me monthly maintenance or money for my and my son's needs. He said like always that I will start earning when our plot will be sold and I know there is no chance that this plot will never get sold ever. My son and I compromised in every condition there. We ate and lived on the money of my father in law for two years.but now for my son my patience has exceeded. When husband is not going to be responsible anyway. On the other hand he said me to get out of the home and my mother in law and all the in laws behaved with me so harshly that I was about to weep. My health is so ruined by bearing tensions and hardahips there but no one is happy with me. I asked my husband that may I go to my parents home? He told me to go. Then I called my father and he brought me to my parents home. Now I am here for about a week with my 11 month son. No one has called me yet. Now my parents decided that when my in laws or husband will come here for me,then they will ask for divorce. After all when he has not proven ever a husband nor ever fulfiled my requirements then there is no need to stay with him for the whole life. Now I am worried about myself. Please guide me what to do. I cannot live without him as I love him so much. But I am also annoyed by my inlaws too. He will not agree on a separate home also. I am seeking for a job also because my father is not so able to meet my and my babies needs completely. Guide me please. What should I do?

A: The better thing is to somehow reconcile your differences and don't pay attention to his words that may annoy you. Focus more on the marriage and those works that will improve your relationship.

And Allah Ta'ala (الله تعالى) knows best.

 

Answered by:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)