Q: I am in a situation. It's been about six years since I have left school. There was a boy who liked me in about the last year and a half of school. About a year after school he has asked a friend of mine's for my number but thinking it might be a problem, she has told him she does not have it. For awhile he has been seeking my number and finding out about me. Last year he has gotten my number from another friend of mine after much hesitation from her side. We have spoken for a little while and stopped, and we carried on after awhile again. During this period of not talking I have read istikhara thinking if I should consider him at the time but it was negative. Well beginning of this year he has met with my dad. We had an intention of marriage. He has also spoken to a pious aalim who has told him that he should come home and speak to if we were serious. I have also asked him about Istikhara and he said he was 100% sure I was the one. I gave it a chance as he seemed genuine. He wanted to phone my dad to come propose either before Ramadan or after., but I have kept on putting it as dad was busy with family problems and I was not sure it was the right time to for the boy to ask as yet. Anyways he has said he will phone after Ramadhan. In the last week of Ramadhan, everything turned out for the worse. his local moulana mentioned reading istikhara and in the same week he has said that I put doubt into his mind resulting in him performing istikhara and he has said he gotten a dream the second night after performing istikhara that he had cheated on me and there was blood all over the house. I have also read istikhara and it turned out positive. I have repented and asked for forgiveness from him as well as the Almighty too. We really wanted to be with one another, but he wouldn't barge no matter how much it hurts us and our feelings. I have also rejected many other good proposals while with this guy, and I can't accept any future proposals. There is one that will want to come by December in sha Allah but I'm genuinely not happy about it. I am also unhappy by the way things turned out between this guy and I. we wanted to be married by the end o this year. He's family life was not good. his parents have divorced and it had a terrible effect on him as the youngest. He has mentioned that they were the happiest family at once. I really am only interested in this guy and he says he feels the same towards me but he can't do this. I am feeling really terrible. I really can't accept any other proposals in future, I have rejected a lot of other good proposals because I had already had this person. I feel that he has ruined my life as well as my chances of getting married and having a family in sha Allah. I agree I may be partly be blamed for things turning out this way, but I have regretted and repented and have asked for maaf. He says if it was any other thing he wouldn't have left me, but he has this fear. I have also not had it easy at home. growing up I have witnessed a lot of terrible fights and arguments at home. My parents almost divorcing over a number of times. Mum has went away over a number off times when I was baby as well as the last time there was a major problem at home.I'd like to know what should I do in terms of this brother, I can't forget him and we both suffering as well. he's a bit too stubborn too. me talking to him won't help and I have no idea who else can speak to him. I have been having sleepless nights and bad dreams since he said he can't go on. I've had only two good dreams,one that we got married and the other we had a beautiful two year old daughter please help and or advice. I cant speak to my parents or anyone else. I did not have any kind of involvement with any other boy in the past.
A: Istikhaarah is not done for you to see a dream. The right procedure is to make mashwarah and make istikhaarah as well. Istikhaarah does not guarantee any dream or any physical or spiritual experience. It is only asking Allah Ta`ala's assistance and guidance for what you are doing. Insha-Allah the one who will make istikhaarah and then embarks on any work will have blessings in what he does.
And Allah Ta'ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
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