Q: I am currently in the following scenario. I gave birth to twins in march 2015. My mother in-law was very sweet till I delivered but later on she was unable to accept the responsibility of handling the kids as I delivered through c section. She called up my mom and asked her to manage kids while she'll manage the rest of the home (authoritatively; important to mention here is that she stays in pakistan and had come to dubai for my delivery). She had a strong spell on her son (my husband) during these days. My relationship with my husband was badly ruined. He start acting the same way with me as my mother in law did. She was harsh after my delivery and had lots of complains with me though the past 4 years of my marriage I was the best daughter in law. Due to her this attitude she made my mom suffer in a cold way during all her stay in dubai. Though my mom was here to help her on her call. It didn't stop here 5 months after my delivery when we went to Pakistan for eid, she insulted and disgraced me for a 3rd person's sake. This person is out of our family and doesn't respect me. I just told her I want to avoid that lady and she started the issue with me. I have been feeling left out since I delivered. This was the time I needed more support psychologically and I was given none. My husband's opinion also changed about me because his mother didn't like me. He too started to have fits of dislike for me on almost all occassions. He started judging me through his mom's eyes though we had had a love marriage. I don't know where has all the love gone now. I had a maid for around 7 months to help me with the house chores while I look after the kids. Changed many but they didn't turn out to be cooperative as they were old ladies and wanted to govern their way, trying to become a mother figure. By 7 months I decided ill manage the house and kids both on my own. My husband doesn't want to help me with the kids and would always say you should hire a maid. Is he fair in saying so when I don't have the peace of mind with maids? Plus aren't the kids supposed to get some time from there father or don't i feel good when he just sits with them for an hour or so keeping in mind that even when he's with them its me who attends to all the needs of my kids. He just keeps an eye and I try to do the laundry or some other household stuff meanwhile. In all these circumstances what do you advise for me plus what should my husband do.
A: I suggest that both of you should see an experienced righteous aalim. Perhaps he can listen to both of you and give you all good counselling.
And Allah Ta'ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
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