Q: I have been suffering from depression because of guilt for the past 2 years. Now I am married but the marriage has always been rocky with abuse of all kinds. I started a job but did an unthinkable mistake. I got involved with someone but I ended it because I knew it was wrong. My husband found out because I didn't want to go in with the relationship. My husband found every possible way to humiliate me in public with friends family. He even went to the nearest musjid. I asked Allah Ta'ala for forgiveness, pleaded day and night. I asked my husband to forgive me. I came back home but he still didn't stop the abuse and he picks on me almost all the time. I am starting to suffer from depression and feel like taking my life. Please advise me.
A: In the face of the predicament you are in, there are two aspects to understand. The first is your relationship with Allah Ta’ala which is of primary concern. The secondary relationship is that of your husband. I do understand that your relationship with your husband is indeed important but remember that your relationship with Allah Ta’ala is of utmost importance.
Perhaps this difficulty you are experiencing is actually an excuse for you to strengthen your relationship with Allah Ta’ala. Spend more of your time on the musalla making du`aa to Allah Ta’ala and begging Him to assist you in this difficulty. Be punctual on your five daily salaah and obey Allah Ta`ala in every aspect of your life.
Allah Ta’ala in His kindness rewards such women abundantly. There were many women in the past who were greatly oppressed by their husbands but because of their firmness and perseverance, Allah Ta’ala rewarded them with immense rewards. Among the highest ranking women in this world and the hereafter is Hadhrat Aasiya, the wife of Fir`oun. She was oppressed and tortured by Fir`oun but she persevered and remained firm on Islam. As a result, Allah Ta’ala blessed her with such a lofty status that she is ranked among the four highest ranking women in Jannah.
At the same time, do not become depressed and drowned in your worries. Make a point of reciting the Qur'aan Shareef and making zikr at home. Daily read out some portion from the Fazaa'il-e-A`maal. The recitation of the Qur'aan and noble ahaadeeth of Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) will bring about enormous barkat in your home.
Insha-Allah there is hope that Allah Ta’ala will open up your husband’s mind and grant him true understanding.
And Allah Ta'ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
Answered by: