Q: For some years a religious guilt feeling blocks my mind. Before starting the story I have two cousins and I name them as A and B.
When I was studying in grade six, a gang of boys of about six including those two cousins used to buy and see porn cd's. When this came to my knowledge, cousin B asks me to make a promise that if they show me those videos and if I tell others or our parents then education will not come to me. At that age I had never seen such movies and I touched his hand to promise then only will they show it to me. I had done umrah before all this happened. So after some years they two had a chance to go for umrah and after coming from umrah cousin B told me that their sin is erased by going for umrah and I saw porn after visiting umrah.
In that situation I felt guilty and I think of the expenses of my parents to go for umrah, so I decided to tell my mom. Now my cousin A knows that I told my parents and I forgot whether I asked sorry for breaking my promise.
Now for some years when I am studying that promise (if I told anyone about seeing porn then education will not come) comes infront of my mind and it blocks my mind from concentrating and I feel depressed and I feel like I cant study. Can we make a promise not to see porn and tell it to others for guilt feeling?
A: Make taubah and promise Allah that you will not do such a wrong in the future. According to how sincere and honest you are Allah will bless you.
And Allah Ta'ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
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