Q: I am a 28 year old single woman who works full time. I moved in with my grandmother when I was 14 as I left my home after being sexually abused by my step father. My mother chose not to believe me and continued to live with him.
I am deeply unhappy with where I am living. My grandmother and uncles resent me being there. I have been emotionally abused and told to get married and leave. There is so much pressure to get married that it has put me off marriage altogether.
I also am very unhappy about having to lie to others about why I do not live with my mother and covering for my stepfather. I’m not sure how I can go into a marriage with lies about my past. I don’t want to lie and I want my mother and family to believe that the abuse happened.
I’ve come to a point where I feel very low and almost despair for my future. I want to move out of my grandmothers and live alone to work on my own happiness and peace. Then inshallah marriage and everything else will fall into place. At the same time I’m conflicted as to doing what’s right by me or what’s right by my family. It wouldn’t be culturally accepted for me to live alone unmarried. I
want to ask what the right thing to do is from an Islamic and not cultural perspective.
A: We suggest that you make sabr and live with your granny. May Allah Ta`ala give you a good future for the sabr that you are making. Remember that when patience is practised for the sake of Allah then the consequence at the end will be very pleasant and enjoyable.
And Allah Ta'ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
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