Q: My husband gets mad at me for being upset and wanting to end the marriage due to his porn addiction. He is from Pakistan and I am from Canada. He says that once he comes to Canada, he will go to strip clubs to "see" what they do because he is curious. There is no need. He even watches porn for no reason. He doesn't even have a "need" and I never refuse him for this purpose that he might go there. He tells me that there are more better women than me and they will be in jannah and I will be in hell. I told my mother and since then he is saying I am backbiting. I have mental health depression and seizures which come from stress. He always bullies me and puts me down. He tells me to stop this guy and that guy. I tell him that I will only stop you because you are my husband, and he says I am a terrible person.
Please advise me. Am I wrong for wanting my husband to stop childish acts (this is one of many) and stop this sin - especially when he has no NEED for it? I can understand when I am on my periods or when I am far away. But I have been visiting for 1 year and he does it still for fun, his excuse being... Allah created man like this - so its ok and its my nature. Please help me understand what I am doing wrong. I know it's haraam but I feel very suicidal.
A: Tell him that he should bring you to Pakistan or he should move to Canada. Husband and wife should be living together. Living separately especially for long periods is discouraged as they both will be unable to fulfil their marital responsibilities and rights they owe towards each other, and this type of life generally leads to them getting involved in some haraam.
And Allah Ta'ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
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