Q: My in laws have a culture of performing Quraan khatam once a year for the deceased by having someone or a group reading Quraan and send esaale sawaab to the deceased father or Muslim family members. There is also intermingling of opposite sexes at the event. Cooking etc. and feeding the guests.
My question is, are all those efforts counted in the court of Allah, such as Quran tilwawat, dua for the deceased etc., whilst there is no pardah between the opposite sexes, intermingling etc. at those gatherings?
A: When a khatam is done in an organised manner then the participants get together only out of consideration and respect for the one who is inviting them. And the element that counts in the sight of Allah Ta`ala is the element of ikhlaas. Most of the time, these types of gatherings are void of ikhlaas. So how do you expect the deceased to get any type of good from these types of gatherings? The most sensible thing to do is that all those attached to him should recite some zikr and Quraan in their own time and space without even informing others how much they have recited and passed on so that their deeds may be preserved and passed on to the deceased. Here apart from the formalities the intermingling ruins the merits also.
And Allah Ta'ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
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