Q: I have recently met a boy with intentions for marriage. My feelings are positive and I would like to move forward.
He however, has decided he would not like to pursue the matter further. Would I be wrong in making duaa for his heart to be softened towards mine? Or for Allah to bring him back into my life for the sake of goodness?
A: This type of premarital relationship is haraam and prohibited in Islam. It is against the Islamic teachings and is also against the dictates of hayaa (shame and modesty).
In the matter of nikaah, the Islamic teaching is that a girl should not look for her own suitor or make any independent decision, rather she should consult her parents and allow them to find her a suitor.
Generally this approach of a girl (meeting a boy, becoming casual with him) is extremely shameful and it leads to many sins as well as problems coming about.
Many a time, the boy uses the girl for his sensual pleasures and thereafter he leaves her in misery and regret. If others get to know about this haraam relationship, then this girl's future is jeopardized. Therefore, make sincere taubah and beg Allah Ta'ala to forgive you for the haraam you had gotten involved in.
After salaah, recite the following dua and beg Allah Ta'ala to bless you with a spouse that is good for you in your deen and dunya:
رَبِّ إِنِّي لِمَا أَنزَلْتَ إِلَيَّ مِنْ خَيْرٍ فَقِيْر
And Allah Ta'ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
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