Q: The question below is with regard to an assignment. Kindly assist with a brief response.
1. What is the proper manner of vetting potential grooms?
2. After the Nikaah, what is the correct manner of meeting the spouse?
A:
1. Carefully see their mannerism, their conduct whether it is agreeable to you, the people they associate with, and whether they are somewhat approachable and you can talk to them especially in matters of deen. Further, they should not be temperamental or influenced by outsiders. An important aspect is to consult the experienced and deeni conscious elders of the family.
2. The following are some of the recommended acts on the night of marriage:
a. The father of the bride will recite the following dua:
اَللّهُمَّ إِنِّيْ اُعِيْذُهَا بِكَ وَذُرِّيَّتَهَا مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ الرَّجِيْم
- O Allah, I place her and her progeny in your protection from Shaytan the accursed - and blow in a cup of water. The water will then be sprinkled on her chest, face and back. The same will be done with the son-in-law with another cup of water. However, in the case of the son-in-law, he will say:
" اُعِيْذُهُ بِكَ وَذُرِّيَّتَهُ".
After the nikaah of Fatimah (radhiyallahu anha) to Ali (radhiyallahu anhu), Rasulullah (sallallahu alaih wa sallam) went to their house and carried out this amal. (Majma`-uz-Zawaaid)
b. The husband will hold the forelocks (hair of the forehead) of the wife's head and recite the following dua:
اَللّٰهُمَّ إِنِّىْ أَسْأَلُكَ خَيْرَهَا وَخَيْرَ مَا جَبَلْتَهَا عَلَيْهِ وَأَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ شَرِّهَا وَمِنْ شَرِّ مَا جَبَلْتَهَا عَلَيْهِ
- O Allah I ask you for her good and the good you have created her with and I seek your protection from her evil and the evil you have created her with. (Sunan Abu Dawood)
c. The husband and wife will perform 2 rakaats of salaah in jamaat with the husband being the imaam. Thereafter, they will make dua to Allah Ta`ala begging him for goodness in the marriage, blessings, mutual love, faithfulness, chastity, marital success and pious children. The husband will recite the following dua:
اللَّهُمَّ بَارِكْ لِي فِي أَهْلِي وَبَارِكْ لَهُمْ فِيَّ اللَّهُمَّ ارْزُقْنِي مِنْهُمْ وَارْزُقْهُمْ مِنِّي اللَّهُمَّ اجْمَعْ بَيْنَنَا مَا جَمَعْتَ إِلَى خَيْرٍوَفَرِّقْ بَيْنَنَا إِذَا فَرَّقْتَ إِلَى خَيْرٍ
- O Allah! Bless my family for me and bless me for my family. O Allah! Grant me their good and grant them my good. O Allah! As long as you unite us, unite us upon good. And if you separate us, separate us on good. (Majma`-uz-Zawaaid)
And Allah Ta'ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
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