Q: I have a few concerns. Recently I went for hajj and decided to change my life. I started praying and observing most of the fundamentals of deen. I recently got involved with a girl with the intention of marriage. We decided to communicate for some time and had met each other. I am however very strict on Deen and did not want to touch her. Through my weakness and the effort of shaitaan, I had committed zina with her. I had slept with her a few times. I am really sad about what I have done. I have repented and did not do this again. I am however still in communication with her because I want to marry her. I understand that I had committed a major sin and defeated the purpose
of marriage. I have also realised that pre-marital relationships before marriage is not allowed and this will take the blessings out of the marriage. I accept my wrong and I know that Allah is the most merciful and will forgive me. I had made taubah that I will not do that sin again. However, I am still in communication with her preparing to get married. Please understand well what I have said. My questions:
- Understanding very well that I had defeated the purpose of marriage, what do I do now? I know the correct thing is to get married so I do not fall into this sin again. Because the blessings has been take away now, do I still marry this same women?
- I accept that I really messed up. I asked Allah to guide me. Since I defeated the purpose of marriage, how do I repair the situation.
- Also, if I do marry her does this mean that no blessings will be in my marriage now?
- What is the solution? Also understand that I cannot just leave the girl and marry another women. I should marry this girl. I have made istikhaarah many times. I just need to know the way forward. Should I marry her or not? Because I already defeated the purpose of marriage. What if I do marry her, then does this mean my marriage will suffer and have no blessings?
A: If both of you are identical, then it is unfair to shift the responsibility of the crime on to the girl alone. Since you have committed the crime together the prudent thing will be that you repent together and immediately get into nikaah, whether your parents or her parents know about it or not. In so doing, you will improve your relationship with Allah and her relationship with Allah will also be improved. And who knows, for this additional consideration Allah Ta`ala will bless you even further.
And Allah Ta'ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
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