Fixing a monetary punishment in order to refrain from sin

Q: Sometimes I fix some monetary punishment (verbally/written as document/mentally assume) to do or not to do a job in future. It helps me very much from saving myself from many wrong doings. However sometimes, I fail to maintain it and make the wrong doing. Now my inquiry is: 

  1. Is it wajib to pay the punishment money since I did not utter Allah’s name i.e. Kosom or Mannoth on Allah’s name?
  2. What is the Islamic ruling in this issue?

Hurmat-e-Musahara

Q: Can you tell me does the following count as hurmut musahara:

If say a man is sitting in a car where someone whom hurmut musahara can happen with is sitting next to him or he is lying his head on their lap, as an example, he is a young adult and is ill. Now he gets an erection due to him having thoughts of other women or seeing other women on tv or on the streets whom marriage is allowed for him. The erection is NOT at all due to the person whom hurmut musahara can happen with being next to him nor is there any lust in his heart on the person nor is his intention of any kind on the person whom hurmut musarhara can happen with, not in the slightest but erection only happens due to him thinking of other women or seeing other women whom he can marry. But due to sitting in a car and the person is sitting next to him or his head in their lap some of his body parts like legs is touching them. Does this count?

Also Can Hurmut Musahara happen between a man and his son?

Dua to be recited by the father for his daughter at the time of nikaah

Q: What is the sunnah method and dua'a for the father to read for the daughter before the daughter leaves the home (in marriage)? Is there anything regarding the sprinkling of water on the daughter's forehead by the father? Furthermore, is the dua'a read by the father, the same dua'a the husband should read for his wife?

Marrying one's stepfather's daughter

Q: My friend Zaid's father Bakr died long back so his mother Fathima married another man Haamid. Now Haamid was also married before and his wife Ruqayyah died. In short both Fathima and Haamid are widow. This man Haamid had one daughter Aaisha with his first wife Ruqayyah. Now my friend zaid is going to marry this girl Aaisha. Is this marrage valid or haram?

Sunnat Libaas

Q: Pleeze inform me of the sunnat libaas.

  1. Till where the sleeves should be?
  2. The colour of the kurta which is sunnat.
  3. The sunnat libaas when traveling.
  4. Does playing with the beard 3 times in one rukn break salaah?

Touching one's sister in-law with lust

Q: I was like kind of attracted to my sister in law. About a year back my wife and I where having an argument. She was telling me that she does not like me talking to her sister and that I'm always talking to her sister etc. I always like had the thought that the rule regarding where a man touches his mother inlaw with lust nikah breaks may also apply to the sister in law also. I also had doubts as to weather rule may apply to the sister in law. I was not completely sure. Anyway, during that argument I told my wife "you know if I even touch her (my wifes sister) nikah breaks" with no intention of any talaq at all. I wasn't suspending or issuing a talaq I wasn't even thinking about talaq. I just told her that for it to seem as though that is the islamic ruling. I just guessed/made up/ lied for it to seem that that is the islamic ruling and for her not to worry and to give assurance. I had absolutely no intention of any talaq, the only intention I may have had was not to touch my sister in law because its a sin. After couple of months I touched my sister in law with lust then after a few months I may have touched her with lust again. Some muftis told me that no talaq takes place because I had no intention. Another told me that no talaq takes place because that's a completely wrong statement and the statement won't take effect coz that's not the masla etc. Another told me it like falls under explaining a masla. My question is (1) is there any suspended talaq in this situation? If yes how many talaqs take place?  Am I safe and do I have anything to worry about?